Nothing else she can do. Because in addition to her love nobody. For all its merits, she did not manage to get married. She begins to suspect that these men were transferred. And get ready to go to study in the school of stell".
It is a portrait of contemporary young ladies of marriageable age from 20 to 50 years. They are becoming more equally lonely "girl and beauties" who find their happiness. And the first who responded to moan lonely hearts, was the Market. About love and family appeared transmission and talk shows. Glamorous literature is replete with tips: where can I find a husband how to catch him and under any sauce to prepare for marriage. But especially rampant psychological training. Right "factory of dreams", press "dolls" one pattern.
I remember in Junior school we drove to the toy factory. There was a workshop where did plastic babies. They were glued together from two halves. To the left lay a heap from the bottom, to the right persons. A factory worker without looking took a half left, half right, hop finish. On exactly the same, eyeless, BizRate dolls along the conveyor to the coloring.
Perhaps psychological trainings are guided by the same principle: whether standard, and you can easily find your soul mate?
In recent years, the letters that come to me on the website, all on a single theme: how to achieve happiness in their personal lives. Some complain about the fate of other men, but absolutely everyone want a simple recipe: what you need to be in relationships with men is a bold and active, or soft and waiting? What strategy to elect, lest he slip? How to finally convince a man before marriage? And the main question: what are "dolls" now have the greatest demand?
The therapist is always a bit clairvoyant. The ambitions and claims reflected in the letters, I can predict the fate of their authors. No love for them does not Shine. No love, no happiness.... Ever.
Because most modern girls of marriageable age and their potential suitors affected very dangerous disease. His name is infantilism, and he confidently walks the planet. It is not insured neither playboy nor innocent virgin, had no drugs, but he maims and destroys life.
The enemy must know in person. I will try to explain what this plague, received in our time of such distribution. To help me in this will be Carl Gustav Jung.
Infante is an adult on the passport of the person, but with children's values and attitudes. And afraid of infantilism that does not allow a person to grow to the Individual. View of the world, people, life, the Infante simplified flattened. And if the Person lives in the real world, Infante - in illusory. The person sees life is complex and multidimensional. Infante is it something like a kinder surprise. You only need to understand how to deploy, and then you'll get a solid chocolate and a nice little gift inside.
The person learns from own and others mistakes. Infante, stepping on the same rake, each time surprised.
The person tries to understand the laws of life. Infant craves recipes, tips and diagrams.
The person wants to understand what is happiness just for her. Infante is guided by the principle of "it is".
Personality gets deeper, more interesting, smarter. Infante is not changed.
The identity of his life creates. Infante can only imitate. Therefore, all of the Infanta to the eyeballs full of stamps. On different occasions, from simple - what to wear to a serious - what to think, how to live.
Truly, our well-fed and quiet time gave rise to such number of clones that could not have dreamed of Soviet power in the happy dream. The reasonable man is rapidly transformed into a Human standard...
The concept of love in infants close to the disney cartoons. Men want to be with him was easy, fun and enjoyable. To ensure, cared for and protected. So he was smart, beautiful, emotionally subtle, generous, with sense of humor and, of course, rich... That is, vacuum cleaner, fridge and washing machine in one bottle. Well this is another miracle of technology and lullabies could sing.
And for this she promises to devote the best years, to give affection, love and encourage to even greater achievements.
Lies! Infantile people are capable of a maximum fascination. Feelings infants can be compared with Bengal fire, which quickly flashes brightly lit and as rapidly extinguished. Looking at the charred stick, infant decides that he again had no luck. Perhaps that is why Infanta no one can be long in a serious relationship. They lay it on the difference of tastes, temperaments, circumstances... And the case is very different. Infante too absorbed in themselves and their interests. He, as a small child, incapable of truly deep and feel for another person. Its main value is the satisfaction of their own needs - protection, warmth, saturation (K. Jung). That's why every other girl says that only in marriage, she will be able to feel secure.
By the way, Infante never say I don't understand people. He says people don't understand me.
Thus, the infant outside world sees and thinks. However, he invents itself. Create in their mind a certain way, far from reality.
Probably, each surrounded by a man, who in childhood relatives taught, what he is talented and extraordinary. The life of such a person, as a rule, is not folded, and his fate is never what it seems (Jung). And all because his fantasy about a private or do not correspond to reality.
Today the role of destroying the souls of relatives undertook psychological trainings and popular psychological literature. There you will explain what a treasure you must feel in order to achieve success. You must believe that you are charming, attractive and downright attracts love darling! What evidence of this no... Away the doubts and fears away smart and sober thoughts - they are not positive.
Modern men are not less infantile than women. It would seem, what's the problem? Met with the Infanta Infante, they have the same values, why should they not be married? But no, they, as negatively charged electrons repel each other!
The fact that they have the same flaw: the immature psyche of any Infanta characteristic of unconscious natural protection from liability (Jung).
The lady of the fearsome myself that it is a gift that can brighten the life of any man, really need to find someone you can sit down on the neck. Whoever it was kept, guarded, still understood... And the man-the Infanta why this burden? Life in our time is not a problem from a practical point of view, the woman in the household is not needed. And ladies around a dime a dozen. It would be a great time - until he was with this girl comfortable. And while she missed him with marriage.
If Infanta married life together will be based on the principles of the who "premonitoire". Add to this immature emotionality and as a consequence, the coldness and indifference to other people's problems, pain and joy. "Chained together", they live together and do not see, do not understand or respect each other. However, considered to be a normal family. Such marriages Oh how much!
And now I must disappoint all sat in the brides. Real men are, but tell me, why should a living man doll?
Interesting, where did the legend that all people marry solely for love? There is sexual attraction. Have a passion. Has he (she) likes me. There is the fear of loneliness. There are "so entitled." There are common interests or relationships... Love to do with it?!
Actually, most people need a partner for co-residence. There is nothing wrong. So 100 years ago, married and nobles, and peasants. But in order to marry, the right sobriety of thought and basic honesty that infant is not capable of. I remember how simple woman described to me their marriage: "the Husband respects me - I household. And I respect him - drink rarely, gold hands, and he will not speak to me ever, so I go to a neighbor". Cynical? No, honestly.
So, probably, is most marriages. However, the most frequently mentioned word in the letters of "love". Still waiting for the love! Ready for it! Im just still no luck...
An old tale. Well bought the myth. Sweet illusion. Bullshit.
Listen, even for music or mathematics can not all. I don't mean "Dog waltz" and not about simple arithmetic, but about real music and about higher mathematics. And love that for everyone?
Love is, but it is not for infants. This adult feeling. It will not buy, will not get by the rest, will not steal, will not be taken away, will not beg. It can only be composted. Grow!
Can give one proven tool, which in glamorous literature, so as not to frighten the reader, never mention: only pain can cause a person to change. So, the pain from their own stupidity makes umnet, the pain from his coldness to Deplete. Infante same as heck incense, afraid of suffering.
So lonely "the genius and beauty has no choice but to follow the Covenant "Stay, such as is known songs. Her cold and scared, she's getting old, but remains "as is".
I'll finish with the words of Jung: infant cannot afford to meet face to face with life - because you will see that his life is empty. And he runs from this meeting. On the one hand, gray existence, with the other gap: a possible chilling encounter with life.
Author:
E. Belyakova
Source:
Our Psychology
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