What prevents us from making new friends

Why now, when we have so much of yourself know, not easy for us to make new acquaintances and to allow the people in your life? This question is asked by many girls.


There is a belief that with age it becomes increasingly difficult to make friends. "I'm twenty-eight years, and I don't want to make new friends. Many times I was disappointed in people. Now I don't believe in the existence of friendship and try to minimize friendly contacts", says our reader.




This is a vivid illustration of the General trend - the further we move away from the age of six, when we could walk up to anyone and say, "hi! Let's be friends! "the worse and harder it becomes to make friends. What prevents us from? This question psychotherapists answer:




"Some years it becomes more difficult to meet new people, introduce them to your close circle of friends. But these "things" are not so much concerned with age as with our internal problems: we rarely allow ourselves to experiment, often lose situation "in the mind, not in reality," says the psychologists call the main reasons that prevent us to make new friends.





Favorite photos


Sometimes it seems that we can establish new relationships only with people similar to our old friends, as if reviewing an album of old photographs. Actually there is fear of failure in a relationship with a new person and desire to secure quick comfort: why spend money on emotional adjustment with a new, strange man, when is the best time to find a "clone" an old friend?




Council. Remember that people who are similar to each other both in appearance and character, friendship can behave differently. Because the truth of life that each of us unique.





Read my thoughts


We are confident that we know what people think of us. "We could be friends, but how can I approach this "thing"? She probably thinks I'm boring... " Why did you believe that the ability to read thoughts?! After all, this "thing" can refer to you with interest. What's stopping you to check it? Nobody and nothing can prevent you to try to establish relationships with anyone - the question is how you want it.




Council. Ask the person a question in an informal setting. If you are afraid to ask about yourself, ask first about someone else. In any case it is better to know the truth than to fantasize. But how nice it would be to see if you admire, and if not, it's not fatal (will not be tormented, your this person or not).





Load of old hurts and failures


Often to establish new contacts we hinder our old hurts and failures. In each one of us still lives, "the girl with pimples" or "the fat, standing last in gym class" - everyone has their own ways. Experienced hurts and failures of many, and, cherishing the memories of them, we only get stuck in the corridor: "here, here is not my place, it just will not work". If you do not reset these old weights with their slim legs, you will suffer alone only because once you're out of luck.




Council. Analyze what kind of people do you like, what your interests may be relevant to you, what you are looking for new friendships. Directly write down their wishes and fears on a piece of paper. Then determine how you can fight as what to do.

Source:

Wday.ru

women's web magazine