And men, as it turned out, afraid of rejection wives, tired to take the initiative and unable to explain what they are still missing.Basic instinct or conscious awareness?
According to a survey history of Vladimir was typical of many young families.
"When I come from work, I often thought to be engaged with wife sex right in the kitchen. But the spouse does not allow this, says I prevent. Everything happens on schedule only in the bedroom and only once. Our typical evening: she is in the kitchen, I "stuck" in the computer. How bored we started to live... And I need more sex and not that fresh. I love her and don't want to change her. However, a couple of times it has already happened.
For Vladimir, like most men, sex is one of the essential needs (food, sleep). In short, basic instinct. And for women are the main good relations in the family, same sex - continuation of communication. Love the script men think a woman is too primitive. She waits for signs of attention, sympathy husband - it turns her on and tunes. Vladimir complains that Olga may day or two to keep him because he bought her not as a gift or forgot to call from work. He believes this is a sign of hysteria and Caprice of his wife, and that, by manipulating the sex, the husband tries to remake. Sometimes Vladimir miserably, going with friends to the bar, where, as he says, "fully unconstrained and fun girls, ready to plunge him in any sexual fantasies".
The man tired to be in control, to take responsibility. In sex, he wants to relax, or at least, become an equal partner. Man wants to wife wanted and did what awaits him. Therefore, the task of the woman time to realize and to accept such an attitude of the spouse.
Do not think that men only go from unattractive and old wives - they go away from the routine and indifference. When a man feels abandoned, he loses confidence in his male power and irresistibility and begins to look for a woman that confidence he will return.
Fantasies of the mother's husband
Where the end of the fantasy begins naked sex, just duty. To such trouble does not happen, do not neglect the fantasies of his wife. That's what you think about men (their opinions were similar).
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Fantasy 1. Undress me
"I represent as we with stranger go into the cafe and drink red wine. Then go home, already in the hallway she starts me to undress: takes off his shirt, unzipping his belt. Kissing me. I respond to her affection".
Remember how often have you done with my husband? If you believe that it is solely his responsibility, you are mistaken. Over the years, the man bothers active role, and he dreams that the tone was set by the partner.
Fantasy 2. Strawberries with cream on the body of the beloved
Such fantasies are saying that men don't have enough ritual, solemnity of the moment. Meal - action, which is very closely related to sex. And all this against the backdrop of the moonlight, the red-and-white silk, seductive clothing and linen. Men romantic and impressionable, they are a necessary prelude and intrigue.
Fantasy 3. Sex-adrenaline in the night metro, on the roof in the entrance...
Says Paul, a man with 12 years of experience, the head of the firm.
"For 10 years I was pursuing the same fantasy. Stranger me kisses and hugs. All this happens in the office. I respond to her kisses. Then she starts to guide my hand on his body, I fulfill all her desires. It dominates our game continues for a long time. She always supports my passion, as if it warms on a slow fire".
When sex in the marital bed already don't like, the man begins to dream about the extreme. For example, to surrender into the hands of women zavoevatelniza, to obey her will. But such fantasies he rarely expressed directly. What does this mean? The man should always be confident in what he wanted and the woman takes it without hesitation. He appreciates her courage and activity. In these fantasies, the man does not suffer from doubt, it is more relaxed, because the woman first, and as he would do with it. A man wants to be in such a role, to take responsibility, stop to control yourself. Try to deliver your overloaded at work husband minutes reckless love and spontaneous sex.
Hard work or fun?
"I see that we have something wrong, " says Ilona (married 4 years). I too correct, all we have on the schedule, dinner, TV, bedroom. But have I dreamed not of such sex, relied on bright feelings. Husband doesn't make me compliments and flowers I haven't seen since the day of our wedding. It is sad that in our everyday life more than the calendar. I may be old and ceased to be attractive for him? "
Every marriage can lead to boredom and monotony. The woman hears in his address: "Good enough is enough, let's go to bed - work tomorrow", "You know that I love you", "I'm tired, and you from me anything you want".
But it would be strange to expect of another, if the wife doesn't trouble himself to always be erotic and sensual. And if so, the husband gradually changing attitudes towards sex: now marital obligations he perceives as a burdensome debt, and erotic fantasies implements on the side.
The case of Ilona shows that although the woman and feels cool husband, but he did not know what are the causes of the incident and where to start to fix things. And it's simple: a man dreams of a passionate partner with rich fantasies. So, if you prefer to cook burgers or erase the good sex cannot be and speeches. Worries always the sea, and the time and the mood to be missed. Give sex a worthy place in life:
- write each other notes about their desires;
- give attention, make small gifts;
- don't wait until everything will change - define priorities;
- tell me about their erotic fantasies in the third person;
- find out the wishes of the husband indirectly: for example, ask, what do his friends at the stag, what erotic movies he likes, and what;
- often say to yourself: "This is my beloved man, one in whom I fell in love many years ago".
"What you found? "
"I got divorced with his first wife 10 years ago, " says Yuri. "She was a good hostess, lovely and caring. But I met Mila (she's older than my wife for 9 years) and we began a passionate affair. Never thought at the age of 38 possible. I immediately divorced his wife. For 9 years we Cute together. She loves me, and the sex we still on top. And socks to wash, and dinner to cook and I myself can. With Cute me easy and pleasant. Haven none of us refused. Sex for us is more important than a General cleaning or a three-course meal".
The man can't keep youth or thrift wife, he needs emotional comfort and adoration. In an ideal wife men always see attractive, sensual partner, who never refuses to have sex. But the exorbitant demands of women, outright insults, constant complaints of fatigue, criticism of her husband's behavior can negate all the romance and sensuality of intimate relationships. And then the man begins to look for and find a replacement wife. Often he is not going to destroy the family, and continues to live a double life - to change the wife he can't and already do not want. By the way, according to statistics, women are more likely to leave because of bad sex and a new love, men kept for a normal life until the last.
How to treat tips from
If we are talking about a successful marriage, Mexican passions, sudden changes in temperature relationship should not be. Like characters of soap operas, you risk to ruin their marriage. The reason for novels and poetry often served as a drama, rather than a quiet family life. For example, a completely useless game "relations", which picks a woman, wanting to see how much her husband loves. Girlfriend teaches you how to pay attention to her husband: "You a couple of times refuse him in bed, and then look. Will become as silk, even the flowers you fear will bring". This simple advice is unlikely to lead to the desired result. Testing, capricious demands attention only talk about immaturity and selfishness partner. Remember: when you talk about a loved one with those who did not love him, his hands destroy love.
Interesting
- 30% of Ukrainians believe that sex on TV should be more. 50% against an increase in the number of such programs.
- The average Ukrainian girl has sex 2 times a week. However, this is not an indicator of temperament of our women.
- Do not treat love as a sport. According to American psychologists, the sport itself is an aphrodisiac.
According to the magazine "the World of family, No. 10 2004
Author:
White A., psychologist
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