Some believe that people who never swear, just don't love each other. Whether to keep his negative emotions or it is better to vent discontent? Irina, 48, housewife
In a dispute may, and the truth is born, but from the scandal don't expect anything good. Because when people quarrel, they do not hear each other. They offer no solutions to the problem, they just shout. And how can this help? Much better to calm down, to sit and listen mutual claims without unnecessary emotions. Try together to find solutions to problems. Not until you're calm and constructive discussion, the conflict will not cease. You can quarreling, then make peace, but until you figure out how to solve the problem, the scandals will be repeated. And the solution can only come in if you really listen to each other, not just from the soul yell. I, for example, if someone is in conflict, always offer to move the conversation the next day, when the passion subsided. And, you know, this works very well. A cool head is the best helper in resolving any disputes.
Sergey, 35, Manager
Sometimes I have the feeling that I live in an Italian family. Wife I - gunpowder, and I myself testy. As just that, we begin to quarrel. It happens, and the dishes will beat up, and neighbors with their cries will peribadi. But we love each other and are putting up as fast as flash. And it seems to me that without these quarrels, our life would be much duller. I don't understand, when I see families where both spouses communicate, how in the Grand reception. Except for you of each other is called. It seems to me that people who never swear, just don't love each other. They don't care. By the way, not so long ago I read that psychologists believe: no scandals - this is a sure sign of indifference. I with this point of view totally agree. If the person you care about his behavior causes some emotions. Of course, not always positive. Because perfect people don't exist and always someone is not happy with something. Here we are with his wife and speak up if something is wrong. Sometimes very rude. But then forgiveness from each other please. And you would know what sex we have after such scandals! This tale! Sometimes quarrel, and I'm on the wife suddenly look over and just fall into a stupor - so it good! Shining eyes and cheeks blush, all taut as a string. Himself jealous, what a passionate woman I got!
Olga, 35, accountant
Adults should be able to keep their emotions. Of course, I understand that there are times when to be silent is quite difficult, and pulls to get involved in a scandal! But you cannot turn into a Bazaar Baba. A person who cries, sprinkles saliva, obscene swearing in the first place humbles himself. His opponents cease to perceive screamer seriously. Psychologists say that the quieter and quieter sounds your voice, the better it is perceived told you. To hear your arguments, people have to shut up and listen. And all that you say in the silence seems more significant. I almost never allow myself to "go beyond". And how many times have you noticed that the last word remains for me! For example, if the husband makes me any claims, I just shut up. First he yells, and then is embarrassed and begins to apologize, because my silence is more eloquent than his PR. Quite often he even apologizes for something he did not commit. He just wants me to "thawed". It is the same with children - they obey only me. Daddy cries and grandmother laments are not affected. But the son and daughter know that if the mother is strictly looks at them and says nothing, then you need to immediately stop messing.
Michael, 50, engineer
I hate people who are holding a grudge, start playing coy. My wife is such a. Inflates on something - and silence! And am I iridodiagnosis to the eyes to determine what is she unhappy? Begin to ask what happened, she offended the form declares that everything is in order. But I see that's wrong! In the past, every time he started to find out what happened. Then I realized that it was useless. If it says all is good, well then, good! And in the end we get? A week later, she all of a sudden starts crying and accusing me of staleness. When finally it turns out that it hurt, I had my eye on the forehead climb. I such things simply do not notice! Well dissatisfied are you with something, say, naori in the end, so I knew where wrong, and more so did. No way! Never say, and will sit in the corner and pout like a mouse on the rump! And how the problem can be solved, if you do not Express dissatisfaction? For me it is better one time to make a scandal than resentment stash.
Ivan, 41, economist
When people in the platoon, the risk to blurt out too much. Quarrel flares up, the arguments on the case over, and opponents are starting to get personal. Especially scary when similar scenes occur between close friends. They know the pain points of each other and in the heat begin to put pressure on them. Pop up old resentments begin mutual insults. And in the end, from a small misunderstanding grows into a large conflict. People already don't remember why they began to quarrel, but insults in my address I remember very well and forgive them cannot. After such an emotional storms residue always remains for a long time. For example, my friends once began to quarrel because of the fact that some of them forgot to buy mayonnaise for dinner. Now, for a couple of hours of scandal, they reminded each other of betrayal that occurred many years ago, has calculated what contributes to the family budget, remembered about all the insults and not bought someone things. In the result the next day they filed for divorce. Now I live separately and, although both regret their marriage broke up, to forgive each other the fight cannot. And things could be different, if everyone at least a little restrained. Or just gave in and went for this stupid mayonnaise, which broke up in good family.
Tatiana, 42, hairdresser
Hoard up in emotion is harmful to health. How many are there now any nervous disorders, depression, insomnia divorced. And why? People live all the time under stress. Keep it together, keep it together, and then a nervous breakdown. I have a friend like that. Life was just a sample of tranquility. Husband never screamed, children were not broken. Home - order, cleanliness, both in the operating room at work - the best employee. And how did it end? He wound up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. Not withstood the body of such voltage. Well, not all in itself to keep. It is sometimes necessary and shout and cry. After all, the easier it becomes after that! Americans who have adopted and always all smile even if I feel sick at heart, from their psychoanalysts did not get out. Do this well? Throw out the negative need. Then and brains in order, and health. All diseases because of nerves. It is necessary from time to time discharge afford.
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