What happens with the divine, breathtaking, unforgettable sex, which was before the wedding?
It turns out that this seemingly rhetorical question is quite specific, scientifically based answer is all about the dopamine. Change relationship status causes the body sudden release of this substance, so after the wedding, as a rule, it is the most striking sex. But then the levels of dopamine inevitably falls, and the couple returned to real life. Then the problems begin. However, according to sexologists, with most of them can be easily overcome if you know about them in advance and be ready for it.
Accept that you are different
When the level of dopamine begins to decline, the lovers suddenly find that their desires are no longer the same. Do not be afraid - this is absolutely normal. As is known, the degree of sexual desire in men and women largely depends on the level of testosterone in the blood. However, the lower the content of this hormone just means that somewhere around one-third of women just
don't think about sex as long as he with them is not going to happen. And that's okay too - if you are one of these women, then you just need to spend more time preliminary caresses and kisses, to get to excited.
Irina, 25: "During our honeymoon we made love three times a day. And it was just fine, but then we went back to ordinary life - work, school, responsibilities... And the sex became more... restrained. I became harder to experience the excitement, and often we had sex when I didn't want to".
Roman (Irina's husband), 27"Yes, sex really started having problems. And although we both read about it and were therefore in a sense prepared, still to experience it yourself is quite another matter. Our desires often did not coincide, and we had to put a lot of effort to cope with this, but we have learned to understand each other."
Comment by sexologist:
"In the first years of marriage, after the level of dopamine was back to normal, it is very important to learn to understand and, more importantly, to accept the differences between you. You should be aware that these differences are completely natural and of themselves are not a problem if you are willing to work in this direction. Feel free to discuss it - the silence of these problems will inevitably lead to the fact that some of you will feel rejected and misunderstood"
Don't focus on the orgasm
Many couples are experiencing problems due to the fact that affection was only a prelude to sex, and they have a stereotype that all must end with an orgasm. The solution to this situation is very simple: learn how to get pleasure from petting while you still have a burning passion. Study of the body to each other, to know what affection pleasant to you not only as a host but also as a giver. Pat each other without a goal to complete all rough sex. This will allow you to feel closer to each other, and
easier to perceive situations when some of you don't want to have sex.
Comment by sexologist: "In the first two years of marriage formed the sexy style of this pair, and the two become closer to each other emotionally. Focus on achieving precisely this proximity, or later sexual problems will be the main topic of your relationship. Each of you should feel that the other understands and supports him is a very powerful emotional basis for good sex."
More often say "Yes"
There is no desire? Try to forget about it and say "Yes". Of course, this sounds a little strange, but, according to psychologists, it is very important to learn in time to say "Yes" when your partner wants sex. Of course, it's not about what you need to force yourself, just relax and let your loved "infect" you with their desire. Why get used to refuse sex? If you on something offended, then take it some other way, but in any case don't make it a reason for refusal. Due to these negative feelings will inevitably impose their imprint on your sexual experience and subsequently can lead to serious disorder.
Plan
Your desires have ceased to be the same? If you have a very busy schedule? You just became once? Why not put sex in the list of priority cases? It just so happened that most of us are married to those who wants to have sex more often, or Vice versa less than we do. If you wait excitation, then you miss a lot of interesting moments. Learn to "wind up" to the touch, and not from the fact of waiting sex. It does not seem necessary during the first stages of marriage, when the passion is still there, but sexologists claim that it will provide you a good sex in the future.
Look into the eyes of
Of course, you will feel more vulnerable if they look into each other's eyes during sex, but usually couples say that this makes them feel sexier, more attractive, more "here and now".
Do not give up "fast" sex
Not always you will have plenty of time to make love under the full program - it may even be that anymore. So why deny yourself in "fast" sex? This will not only support you both in good shape, but will also strengthen mutual passion, making the relationship more acute.
Don't make mountains out of molehills!
According to statistics, even the happiest couples do not get pleasure from sex 1 time out of 10. And it's nothing terrible. Sometimes it happens just because the sex was too hasty, you were tired or frustrated, or you just were not comfortable. However, that still doesn'T mean that you have big problems! This is the life. Don't wait every time excellent sex. Or learn how to choose the right moment to pounce on your partner.
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