A child brings a lot of joy, this one does not argue. With a toddler is so much changes from day to day: the first smile, the first cooing, the first recognition moms, start crawling, walking, talking. Dad comes from work every evening, all these changes catches, feels happy. Not to mention other relatives, which sees the baby on the weekends? Leaps of development during this period tangible.
But in all this there is the other side of the coin: my mother's weekdays. What is mother's day child until about the year, if she is with the baby at home: feeding, calming, worn on the hands, sometimes around the clock, dressing up, putting to sleep, walking often on the same route, washing, cooking, cleaning, and again, dressing up and so on. The nature of the mother's action varies a little from month to month, but every day he almost constant. The main joy is coming from the work of the Pope, but often he comes in tired, work takes a lot of effort, and the child again remains at my mother's hands. Mom feeds him, puts, and, it would seem, that it is time to rest and to communicate with her husband, but she somehow falls asleep exhausted. Ahead polubesova night, the fractional sleep, interrupted on feeding and groaning. And who else to do it? Not the Pope, which is at work in the morning. And in the morning it starts from the beginning. If the mother went out to work while the baby is not yet one year old, her everyday look even more severe: early rise, pumping, running to work, after a hard day crying baby, a day missed, accumulated fatigue and gave it all zamochennoy mother, and then a sleepless night ahead, which will end early rise. And the strength to work somewhere you have to take. And in the weekend cleaning, cooking, visits Rodney. Relax once.
All compounded by the fact that to get out of the house without a child capabilities mom quite a bit. The first time, the child may be asked to eat at any time, and then as they Mature, boy seeing mom around the clock to yourself, dad in the evenings, and the other only once a week, quite a strong attachment to the mother, and any care for crumbs stress, and for every mother psychologically hard to create your baby uncomfortable situation. As a working mom, and seeing them so rarely that weekend away without the baby means very little to give him time in the week.
The first year after the baby is born - a crisis for the family. Many couples, unfortunately, in the first year after birth are difficult times. And it is not surprising. Mama is very tired. And at first glance daddy everyday life much easier. Daddy had a change of activity happens all the time: on the way to work with him or have the opportunity to be alone with yourself and listen to your favorite music or read something interesting. At work, clients, communication, lunchtime is the time to exchange a few words on the phone with friends. But my father's life is not so simple after birth of the baby, as it seems at first glance. Before he had his usual duties, he did, came home, and there are well-groomed, happy wife, with it you can chat, relax, together to go for a visit. And now not only that the responsibilities of the house increased, all liability on it, and the house will not rest. He is met by a tired, Sanatana wife, with threshold gives him screaming bag and goes into the shower, because before his arrival was not such the opportunities for the whole day, and they departed thence, and goes to feed and immediately falls asleep. Yes, all the time fatigue complains, not watching constantly at all offended. And at night, does not sleep, crying baby wakes and dad. If the spouse of such a Pope works too, when they return home for her there is only a kid, my dad no time at all, and he begins to feel unnecessary second half.
Communication tired of the spouses is minimized. Time each other sorely lacking. Accumulating fatigue and irritation, which often turn into scandals.
What to do my mother in this situation? How to make chronic fatigue and monotonous life didn't prevent her happy baby? How to maintain a good relationship with her husband during this difficult year? The answer is simple - mom needs to relax. Good reasons to do this quite a lot.
Pregnancy and childbirth - quite a lot of stress for the body, all her strength gone on carrying the baby and work it into the light. The woman is very important to restore your strength.
The mother suckles. This is the most valuable and useful food for crumbs. Stress and fatigue lead to a reduction in milk supply, which adversely affects the health of the baby.
Tired mom, as a rule, irritated mother. All her moods are transferred to the baby, which causes anxiety and discomfort.
The postpartum period is a severe hormonal jolt to the body. Not only that mood jumps in and of itself, so also tired of all the negative is multiplied several times. All of it leads to serious problems in the family. In this state, a mother it is hard to see what dad was tired, she looks at everything only from his point of view, often offended.
If the mother is not resting in any spare moment she goes to sleep, and it turns out that to communicate with her husband she has neither the time nor the energy. And that sees her husband: the second half, completely absorbed by the baby and completely threw him. It disrupts the harmony in the family. Spouses need time devoted only to each other.
In a state of chronic fatigue suffers intimate family life. The proximity of mom and dad prefer to sleep. It also adversely affects the relations of the spouses.
If my mom left for work, then rest it needs even more, because otherwise her life turns into a marathon, and in order to overcome marathon, you need a lot of strength and health.
How to relax?
Now it is important to understand how can the mother to relax. Under rest every means of their own, but in General the rest can be considered as:
a sufficient amount of sleep per day: 8-10 hours;
regular walks in the fresh air;
sports;
socializing with friends;
the lesson, some you love, even in minimal doses;
the opportunity to escape from the child, after being alone;
the ability to read or just sit on the Internet;
and so much more.
How to find time to rest?
Cut out all of the above time - the problem is rather difficult, but possible. But without the help of all family members is not necessary.
Take note that some familiar things in General you can not do while freeing up a lot of time:
optional ironed bed linen, good enough to straighten it after wash and hang, and then gently folding;
you can't prepare a full meal of three courses, just to have food;
accessories for feeding, such as breast pump, bottles, nipples, can not be sterilized, it is enough to parboiled;
many household items themselves can take appliances: washing machine, dishwasher, food processor, microwave;
you can save yourself from the endless washing of children's sliders, using disposable diapers, at least the first time or during periods of extreme fatigue.
Let's start with the mother. Mothers often difficult to adapt to the fact that now there's no more time for herself. It temporarily. Need to learn to combine the pleasant with the useful. What you can do with your child?
Save time
Shopping in a big store you can go with a stroller, in a small handy sling.
Be prepared - some manipulations can be done when the baby is in the sling, you cannot perform any action over the stove. And if the kitchen to bring the carrycot, hands mom absolutely free, while she was watching the baby, and the baby for the mother.
To get out of here. This can be done either when the child plays himself on the Mat or in the crib, but she constantly sees, or again grown-up child can be put in a sling, and almost all cleaning mom is available.
But most importantly, what have to learn young mother is to fall asleep as soon as I fell asleep the baby. Unwashed dishes is not going anywhere, it will be possible to choose the time while the baby is awake and doing something exciting, for example, is near you in the arena and looks interesting toys, but the next time you want to sleep baby, when it will not interfere with the gas and colic, when it will not disturb the teeth - nobody knows. Therefore, it is necessary to use any time that babe gives pleasure.
Rest
Walk-in guests. The baby does not really matter where he is, he is much more important that the mother is near, so if you have somewhere to go with your baby, go. The most suitable guests - young mothers with whom you met while walking with your baby - you have a lot in common with them topics of conversation, discussion, exchange of experience.
To visit public places. Go for coffee with a friend, for example. In this case, you can use the sling in which the baby can feed, and sleep to lay, and from the hour of such gatherings, mom's mood appears, and with it power. In summer you can sit in an outdoor café and then you and a stroller to use.
A great time to relax - it's time walks with the baby. Children up to 6 months and then to years, often sleeping on the street, at this time you can read, chat, etc. If the baby is awake, try to get the pleasure of communicating with him, having some game.
Dad can facilitate the mother's daily life, while preserving maximum forces. Sometimes, fathers take leave immediately after the birth of a baby. This is a very reasonable. First time mom and kid each other get used to it. The main task of the mothers in this period is to establish breastfeeding. Dad can do to assist her in this, taking the whole life itself. In the same period, while the father does not work and he has the opportunity to sleep during the day, dad can help and nights. Yes, he can't feed, but it may, for example, to change only just woke up baby. Dad the strength to walk a bit around the apartment with the baby, which messed up day and night, helping him to sleep or take a walk with your child's day. Saving power moms in the beginning, dad gives her the opportunity to gradually get used to the need to combine household and baby care, to adapt the mode bits. When this is not possible or vacation is over, and the Pope and effort, and time is not so much his help too important. Actually, to facilitate the mother life can minimal effort.
For example, dad can do:
To wash the dishes. It doesn't take a lot of time.
Download and include a washing machine. It will take too a maximum of five minutes.
If necessary, iron the clothes.
On weekends to buy food for the week ahead.
Not to pick unharvested home, not cooked on time food. Such comments will not add the mother of time and effort, but the offense and scandal will be able to provoke.
To release the mother at least once a week one: with friends in cafes, sports facilities, beauty salon. A change of scenery for my mom - a good rest and good mood. If the mother and the baby can't do without each other for a long time, then dad can do with your baby an hour to walk around the pool where she swims, while the child sleeps. Separation will be short and painless, and the mother will disappear.
Your contribution can make grandparents, uncles and aunts baby, friends of the family. Relatives can ask:
to help with the cleaning;
to cook;
pet stuff;
a walk with the baby in the stroller while mom slept or brings himself up in the Barber shop;
to stay home with the baby, allowing her mother to visit, walk at your leisure for shopping or work out in the fitness club.
Remember, the main task of the family to facilitate the life of the newly minted parents, and not to complicate it, so if grandma assistance not joy, it is best to tactfully refuse visits.
The lack of complexity in everyday life smooths fatigue and alleviates conflicts. And happy family is the key to well - being of the baby.
Ksenia Jagodina
Psychologist
Detstvo.Roux
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