How to wean the baby from "harm"

Sooner or later there comes a period when the child begins vrednichat, and for seemingly no apparent reason. And because often infantile parents blamed on simple disobedience, but is it? Dictionary gives a clear definition of the word "vrednichat": "Show unkindness, to go against anyone's interests, desires".



Why children brednich?


In fact, at a certain age children have their own point of view, and it is not required to coincide with the parent. The child begins to feel like an independent person and wants to do things their own way. The only thing that hinders it is the lack of knowledge about the accepted norms in society.




Often, kapriznichala, the child pursues a certain goal. It is therefore important to understand how this goal is important for the child and how it contradicts your abilities and principles.





When can we expect a "scourge"


This period psychologists have dubbed "the period of protest, inherent in it is for children aged 3-4 years. As mentioned above, so the child wants to show his parents his "independence" and therefore checks them for strength.




If this period was delayed - it is worth considering, you may have to deal with the "children's negativism". This is when the children are not the essence of the case to defend their point of view, it's just important to say otherwise: black is called white, and your "Yes" to say "no".




It is also possible that "protest" may start earlier. The results of the experiment scientists from Hungary showed that the little man can start to show its character already at the age of seven months.





What should parents do


Well, finally, the main question: how to behave parents who find themselves in absurd situations, for example, a child has a tantrum in the store about the fact that you can't buy a new toy? It's very simple. In such cases, Dr. Komarovsky advises:




"If a mother, for example, made the decision, but the child shout " mother changed decision, and literally after a few times when the child will understand that the decision of the mother can be changed, he will start using it. And even then, nothing can be changed until you understand the three basic teaching of the law:




1. If you said "no" tomorrow "no" cannot be "Yes".


2. "No" is always "no". That is, if mom said not to take the phone on Tuesday, and on Thursday you can't take the phone.


3. Unity adults. If mom said no, it is impossible to dad or grandma said "Yes".





Expert opinion



Daria Selivanova,
child and family psychologist,


body-oriented therapist




If a child wants something that is not in your plans, helps the technique of "active listening" (to designate the child's sense), and unobtrusive attention switching. And, of course, must be able to accept negative emotions of other people. If you allow yourself to be angry, and will not be so badly to perceived dissatisfaction with the child. And it "harm" will go into the category of "discontent", which is quite normal, if something does not work as expected.

Author:

Fursenko Yu


Source:

Women's Magazine

women's web magazine