You accidentally push, and you fall, or firing at you, but misses. In the latter case, kind of harm and do not cause, but as they say, a residue remains. It is equally important to distinguish between aggression and violence. Violence, paradoxically, may be deprived of aggression. A typical example is the violence culture: in the childhood many of us were forced to read the classics, to play the piano or to spend a day off at the Museum, making it impossible to climb trees or to drive on the yard of the ball. In this case against us has been abusive, but the motive was to benefit us and not to harm. There is another kind of aggression is passive aggression. Your foe may not do you anything bad, but just not to inform about the danger and aggression. Because he wants you to, say, the chief shouted or you are fired.
The remedy
But what causes us to behave aggressively? In fact, it is the simplest and most effective form of protection of our "I", a reaction to someone's attempt to transcend our personal boundaries.
Aggression is almost always a form of protection. Another thing is that in virtue of education, experience, peculiarities of perception of the world, people cannot find a better way than the attack. Actually, it's a defect of communication: if I can't clearly explain what I want, I prefer to give you on the neck. That is why we are often faced with a situation where, in order to raise their self-esteem, an attempt is made to be lowered, and others. Insecure boss scolds subordinates. Because they may be more competent and professional, pose a threat to his status and his "I".
The weaker the "I" and less secure than personal boundaries, the more likely it is aggressive behavior. This, incidentally, evolutionary justified: animals exhibit intraspecific aggression during periods of greatest vulnerability - for example, when they need to protect offspring.
Aggression from self-vulnerability - the driving force of mobbing, collective harassment, the phenomenon is quite common now in offices. Mobbing is also biologically inherent notion that in human society gets pretty ugly. When a group of birds attacking predator - she defends a territory, but also young and weak. And when the human team is combined with in order to survive non-trivial man - in form is the same, but the connotation is another.
Family tradition
Aggression eternal as energy or matter. It takes many forms and comes in the form of hidden intentions, in the form of the sick fantasies of destruction. Aggression makes its inevitable cycles in nature: the chief is yelling at a subordinate, he tears off evil wife, she is on the child, the child kicks the dog, and the dog rushes to the head and bites his. The circle in the comics of of Herluf Bidstrup. Get rid of pointless aggression. In fact, this is a normal property of the psyche, it is determined biologically and socially determined. And here it is difficult to distinguish which came first: the difference is approximately the same as between sex and gender. Some quality peculiar to the floor, inherent in us from birth. But they could not grow or develop to a lesser extent, if we are not immediately placed in bags with a pink or blue bow, and then dictated the specific behaviours like that the boy must not cry, and the girl - fight. The same happens with aggression. How aggressive we become, depends not only and not so much from our innate qualities, but on education, models of conduct adopted by the family. Especially effectively teach physical punishment. It is proven that the more often a child punished at home, the more likely that, as an adult, he will not learn to solve problems without showing aggression.
Chain reaction
It is believed that aggression promote print media, but much more serious is the impact of a cinema. In the United States on behalf of the government at various universities was held about 2100 studies in order to reveal the impact of print media, film and television on aggressive behavior. It was found that the films, replete with scenes of bloody shootouts, best books of aggression. After watching such movies, we don't see the difference between good and bad guys, shoot those and other. With effect from viewing most often there is no instant. It is a mistake to think that those who are "bad" movie looked, tomorrow have committed a crime. It is not. The idea that must be good with his fists, is deposited in the consciousness gradually, and in this sense, the danger is that we have a whole generation, which in the 1990-ies up to 80% of the time watching movies with scenes of violence. Although, it is likely that most of these people are criminals in General will not, they will live with the notion that the rights of one who has power. That is why aggressive behaviour towards competitors and subordinates is considered the norm in business circles.
Under the control
Where aggression is always a counter. Usually socio-cultural environment puts a taboo on some of its forms and manifestations: even schoolboys know that boys can fight, but you can not beat lying, or that if two brawl, the third should not interfere, because two in one sneaky.
Not to say that society produces these counterarguments instantly.
In the West, for example, quite a long time struggled with a form of aggression, sexual blackmail on the part of the authorities, but then came the counter - strict laws against sexual harassment. The only problem is that in different societies view on a few boundaries vary greatly: some even inappropriate flirting regarded as a manifestation of aggression, and somewhere to beat his wife is not considered shameful. For centuries the physical punishment of children was considered a legitimate part of the educational process. And it should be noted that our society has abandoned this recently: 1960-ies only the urban population believed that hitting children is not good, and in the village on this occasion there was his opinion. In 1990-ies the home of aggression gave another indulgence: according to research, now 30 to 40 percent of couples understand each other with fists. It is not necessary that it lumenition strata of society, contrary intelligent people. Just when society is undergoing changes, there is a feeling of confusion and boundaries are blurred.
Basic instinct
Sigmund Freud believed that aggressive behavior inevitably. After all, according to his theory, man is governed by two powerful instincts: Eros and Thanatos (the instinct of attraction to death - CA. ed.). If the energy of Eros aimed at the preservation and reproduction of life, the energy Thanatos - destruction, and if this aggression will not be facing outward, it will lead to the destruction of the individual. Hence, the energy Thanatos need to sublimate, that is, to turn it into a desire to be approved by the society (surgery, creativity). To get rid of aggression useless, but you can learn to control. Do not underestimate this mental resource: because sometimes aggression is necessary, for example, in order to defend their interests, to protect the borders of his "I" or tranquility close. But it is important to understand that it is a potent tool and to use it only in the most extreme cases. Remember that a strong leader is not one who is aggressive and who equitable. A true leader is the embodiment of protection. Even as a conqueror.
Where to run?
Management techniques aggression
If you become a target of aggression from the side of the head, you should not remain silent and pretend as if nothing is happening. You could convince yourself that you are "above it" and don't want to be on the same Board, but if you chip away silently all attacks, it means that you allow us to treat you this way. Do not try to suppress their feelings. Better to declare openly that you have such a relation is not satisfied, demand explanations and make it clear that you will only communicate on equal terms.
To avoid becoming a victim of mobbing (collective harassment), do not neglect the norms of conduct that are accepted in your office. "The group we-feeling" is referred to as social psychologists that feeling of kinship, which combines long-running together of the people. Do not ignore meals together or show indifference to the conversation.
Accept aggression in itself. You shouldn't feel ashamed or to convince yourself that you are a stranger. The better recognize yourself in these feelings and examine the circumstances in which they were invoked. It often negative emotional experiences are the result of reticence.
Author:
Enikolopov C.
Source:
Our Psychology
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