"Oh, it's cute! " But persuasion does not help: even if we don't panic because our face fills with paint, we cover the awkwardness and shame. Talking about these feelings? And how to stop blushing for what we blush?
I stand in front of a dozen pairs of eyes staring at me. The pause lasts for more than a minute. I had something to say but all the words gone somewhere. Cheeks burning, I'm hot, but I resist and try to take a deep breath - it is useless. Chest constricting of the throat crashes some whistling wheeze. Someone is smiling, someone gently removes eye. Most of all I want to immediately sink into the ground...
Under the influence of strong emotions - anger, shame, joy, surprise, curiosity - blush all, some more, some less. In people with dark skin is not so noticeable, however they also feel is burning face. Some lucky ones do not attach any importance to this, but for others, as for me, unbidden blush becomes almost insoluble problem.
The natural mechanism
"We blush at the moment are expanding our capillaries, small blood vessels, " says biologist and psychotherapist Jacob Kochetkov. - This physiological response helps the body to quickly reduce the temperature of the skin. Different people it happens with different speed and intensity. When we are hot, the blood vessels dilate, giving heat - that's why we blush in the heat. When cold, the blood vessels are compressed, and we fade. However, after some time, the skin can freeze, and we have a compensatory expansion - so we turn red in the cold".
Some people tend to blush stronger than others. It depends on their temperament, physique, skin characteristics. This usually manifests itself in those areas that are not covered by clothing and in direct contact with the environment - the face, ears, neck, decollete. More brightly this feature pronounced among those who have from birth a dense network of capillaries.
But we blush not only because of the weather, we are filled with paint and when, for example, we are carefully watching random passerby or someone makes us a compliment. Why is this happening? "The expansion and contraction of blood vessels regulates the sympathetic nervous system, " explains Jacob Kochetkov. - It responds to stress (weather, physical activity, interest in us other people) and operates independently of our will, bringing the body into a state of "readiness": quickens the heartbeat, is thrown adrenaline, the muscles become tense. Associated with the parasympathetic nervous system - it is, on the contrary, reduces the protective voltage, and a relaxed body".
"I" and "they"
Animals don't blush - blush only people. And only when we find ourselves among others: blush babies, rarely older people, more often than other teenagers. But no one is filled with paint alone. This happens when we suddenly realize that we see. Even thoughts about how we perceive other people, can provoke excitement that swept him - and we are not able to deal with it. It is not known whence arises the sense of shame, as if our weakness, our weaknesses were exposed.
"At such moments, the image of a confident, Mature man, to which we are accustomed to use in communication, professional and even personal life, suddenly cracked, " explains psychologist Maria Andrianova. - We think that the other person knows more about us than we ourselves. There is an excruciating sense of insecurity from the stranger's eyes and the fear of losing control".
We feel miserable, funny and feel their is a clear discrepancy between how I would like to look. Psychoanalyst Marie-Madeleine of'lessan reflects: "to be successful, we need to look confident. To do this, we often clothed in impenetrable armor. But these armor made from cardboard, they are not our true identity - sensitive and diverse. In this inner space and starts the blush of shame - we blush from internal contradictions, doubts about yourself. We don't know where to go, we would like to sink into the earth, and our desire to evaporate finds physical embodiment. Some of my patients are so afraid of blush that prefer not to leave the house".
"Criticism, compliments, attentive glance or smile - all these signs that tell about how things relate to other people, " says Maria Andrianova. But sometimes we make mistakes and can "read" a warm smile as a smile. Or take into your account that does not have to us the relationship: colleague frowns because he has a headache, but it seems to us that he condemns us. Than Trevone, more hesitant we feel, the more likely these errors". Under their influence may experience fear of communication, which experts attribute and an obsessive fear blush - erythrophobia.
Wish
So we, erythrophobia blushed enough to mention our property. "You still blush? "asks my colleague, knowing that I'm writing this material, and finished my cheeks and forehead glowing. But there is good news. If natural inclination to blush cannot be undone, then erythrophobia can be reduced, reducing suffering to mild discomfort. And to learn to live with it... or against it. "And this must afford to blush! " - Maria insists Andrianova.
Psychologists teach patients not to avoid disturbing situations. This has developed a system of gradual immersion in them, from the simple to the more complex. During group cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy for starters, we can offer to speak with the neighbor - such as weather. Of course, we will pokerspel. But still, following the instructions, we will continue the conversation and make sure that nothing terrible happened. We do not fall through the earth, and the neighbor is still answering our questions. And so a few times, until the situation becomes normal. Then you can move on to more exciting stories. I have to speak publicly.
"Make sure you blush offers Jacob Kochetkov, and you will notice that the excitement does not increase to infinity. After some time it begins to subside by itself. This means that you can endure and continue to do the report (or to talk with a girl). And if you say to yourself: "I blush" - paint the excitement will disappear even faster".
Body work
The fear that we feel when blush is manifested in our body - we feel constrained, our breathing constrained, some muscles are tense, others completely relaxed. We lose control, the body does not listen. Maria Andrianova advises: "Feeling the rising tension, lower the shoulders, the maximum relax, Apatite belly slightly forward and exhale. Hold your breath for some time, breathe as quietly and again exhale on the count of five." Make a few of these quiet breaths and long exhalations, races of clabsa body. You will feel that the heart will beat more quietly, the blood circulation will slow down, the blood vessels that, and this will reduce the blood flow".
This advantage!
And if we are not indifferent to man, next to which blush? Then fear doubled, especially if we try to hide his feeling. "Unconscious in a hurry as you can clearly demonstrate our interest, turning our cheeks in all shades of dawn," explains the analyst. What we wanted to hide, suddenly everyone's mind. Our very desire to hide their feelings becomes obvious. This hurts our self-esteem, destroys self-image.
One of the common beliefs surrounding ill think about reddening man, think of him as a loser, ill-treat them. "It is not, I am sure Jacob Kochetkov. When I ask patients, ashamed of their tendency to blush stopped anyone to communicate with them because of this, condemned or smiled, it turns out that this was not the case with anyone never". On the contrary, undisguised blush that appears on our face, may be interested in, to move, to charm...So, British psychologists have proven that these people cause others sympathy and affection, they are more willing to forgive mistakes and awkward than someone apologizes or expresses his embarrassment and shame any other way. And if we say, "Blush is so cute, so moving," it is completely sincere. We cute companion!
Source:
Wday.ru
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