Anger and resentment
Anger and resentment are preventing you from experiencing pleasure, and generally drowned out all other senses. Many women nursed a grudge against men with whom they have sex. It is accumulated by years of anger and resentment destroy sexual relationship many couples.
If you have suppressed his anger and resentment, then you find it difficult to reach orgasm and enjoy sex. Indulging in the joy and pleasure you "revenge" partner for old grudges. You can not give self-report their true feelings. Often anger and resentment is directed not at the current partner, and at the same time.
What to do
Sorry and thank all past partners, forgive yourself. If you have accumulated unexpressed feelings to the current partner, talk to him openly and tell them about the real causes resentment and anger, tell him what you want.
Until you get rid of anger, resentment and will not understand what's really going on until you get a response partner, pleasure will not come back into your life.
Fear of losing control or getting addicted
When you can't relax, to talk about sexual satisfaction has no meaning.
If you don't trust your partner, then try not to appear before him, all the time you keep the defense and mentally distance myself from the partner. This occurs at the level of the body is not relaxed, and you can't have fun.
What to do
The solution of this problem depends on the cause of distrust.
Maybe you just don't believe in themselves and have low self-esteem, because you are afraid to look like something is wrong, something to do. Not believing in yourself, you don't believe to others. In such a situation impossible to relax.
The only way to solve the problem is to believe in themselves, to raise their self-esteem. Perhaps you need to attend special training or obtain individual professional advice.
If the reason of your confidence - act partner, after which you got frustrated (e.g., cheating), then even if you do declare your forgiveness, actually, you can no longer be trusted. As a consequence, to avoid sex and not "allow" myself orgasm, that is relaxation.
To solve this problem only if you are truly sorry partner, without any conditions. It is very difficult, takes a long time to establish a relationship again.
Often women survivors of betrayal, you start to change yourself, because you can't experience pleasure with her husband. In the end, raising the self-esteem in this way, they go from changed men. If you cannot trust your partner, admit it first by myself and then he. It makes no sense to save a relationship in which there is no trust.
The struggle for power
Perhaps in your relationship with your partner out of balance of power. This happens when the woman is totally dependent on men and this state of things it does not like.
She may believe that her partner is too overwhelming. She feels helpless and dependent. Forces to become independent (not necessarily financially, rather, psychologically, it's not enough.
The only way to retaliate is to refuse pleasure. Unfortunately, the only victim of such revenge are you.
What to do
Examine why you feel dependent and weak. Probably lives in you the thirst for power, you can't realize. In this case, you had better to admit existing ambitions and make them outside of the bedroom, went into self-realization.
Another thing, if you feel the inner dependence of the partner: it completely provides you, controls, behaves in a tyrannical, much prohibits. You feel depressed, unhappy, but very afraid of losing a partner because you are afraid to be left alone with their problems, and terrible in the eyes and tell partner that you are not happy.
In this case, the only way to be happy is to learn to solve their problems themselves, to become independent and confident, learn how to talk with your partner as an equal, not making tantrums and not insulting him.
Internal independence will liberate not only the soul but also the body, and this is, undoubtedly, have a positive impact on sexual life.
Poor diet
Not only Smoking and alcohol abuse can cause sexual disorders, fatty and heavy foods can also affect the achievement of pleasure. This is because sexual stimulation is directly dependent on blood flow.
From fatty foods blood circulation is disturbed. As a consequence, it is difficult for you to experience arousal and orgasm. Also our food affects mood and energy. If we are tired and are in a depression, neither of which pleasure cannot be and speeches.
What to do
Change the diet and increase physical activity. Refrain from flour and fat, increase in your diet the amount of vegetables, fruits, cereals, etc. On the topic of healthy eating written a lot of articles that you can find here.
Guilt
If you did that certainly do not like your partner, you can feel a sense of guilt that will not allow you to relax and enjoy. Perhaps that is why many incorrect wives and husbands in such a hurry to talk about the betrayal of their second halves.
Guilt may not be so clear, it can sit deep in the subconscious and years to interfere with enjoying life. For example, you can blame yourself that you live better than someone, or to feel guilty for something that "took" her husband has other women that earn more than the husband.
The range of your guilt depends only on your preferences and grafted parents principles.
What to do
The best place to live, so nothing to repent. If initially you do not succeed, then the correct way to get rid of guilt is to forgive yourself for all he had done. You can ask forgiveness, to whom is to blame, if this is not possible, at least mentally talk to this person.
It often happens that wine is far-fetched or grafted someone who benefits from it. In this case, you need to understand why you react that way and let themselves be manipulated by this feeling.
The inability to be here and now
Sex is, first of all, feelings. The feeling of what is happening in the moment. If you are immersed in thought about something else, or fantasize about sex in the past, the future, it is unlikely that you will be able to take pleasure in the present.
Or, for example, at the beginning of your relationship you about something I wanted to ask your partner, but you did not, was postponed to a later date. And then another and another... the result is that you live in the future, and sexual pleasure later." Resentment and dissatisfaction are accumulated, and the result is cooling.
What to do
Learn how to filter incoming information. From all that you get from the outside world, learn to perceive what is important at the moment. Live here and now.
If you want something, do it immediately, do not delay your pleasure for later. Instead of thinking about what was or could be, do everything possible to ensure that you feel good right now.
How to relearn how to have fun?
If your sex life has lost its former brightness in your power to return to her all the colors of the rainbow.
Exercise to improve sex life
Imagine you want to change, in the form of pictures. For example, the moment when you had sex, and you did not like.
Describe this situation in great detail, using the following parameters: color, brightness, borders, size, depth, contrast, duration, movement, sounds, sensations, etc.
Similarly describe a situation where you had a pleasant emotions, when sex was exactly what you wanted.
Then start to go back to the first picture, gradually adding the parameters of the second: change color, sound, motion, background, etc. of the Contents of the first picture should remain the same, changing only the parameters.
As soon as your feelings about the situation that you want to change, will be a pleasant (the same as you experienced in the second), the work is done.
Exercise is good because not introduces us to the world of illusions and helps to improve the present.
Source:
Sex-log
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