After marriage receive the new status of not only the couple but also their parents. Together with the newly spouses born mother-in-law and father-in-law, mother-in-law and father-in-law. Even young now not only husband and wife, but brother-in-law to daughter-in-law. Folk art widely the subject of the relations of the husband and mother of his wife. Anecdotes, aphorisms, everyday stories about mother-in-law and son-in-law help men with humor about the challenges of family life. Relationship sister-in-law the subject of amusing stories become rare, probably because of the passion between the two women strained serious, and the consequences can be fatal. No wonder the ancient Greek poet-playwright Menander said that women's quarrels burns the whole house.
The struggle for supremacy
Indeed, to get two women under one roof is not easy, and the reason for this is the struggle for the love of a man. For the mother he always was the best, the most intelligent, honest, fair. Mother first took him in his arms, was there every day of his life, he loved and cared about him. Their relationship for a long time was intimately: the kid learned to be a man, talking to mom, she bathed, put to bed, was the center of his life, the best woman in the world. Such a close relationship, formed in early childhood may persist for life, resulting in the boy in his mother's eyes will never become a man and will forever remain a baby. But at one point such infinite care and universal love will collide with the interests and feelings of another woman.
The appearance of the bride immensely loving mother can not always take calmly, she understands everything, but can not cope with their feelings and emotions. The son began to live for another woman, what would happen to her? Will it remain a favorite that is meaningful to him? In order not to lose their positions, it can start fighting for his son. To fight for family happiness to the young wife to be careful, because the mother-in-law more experienced opponents. In conversation with her son, she can praise the daughter-in-law for the ability to cook at the same time noticing her inability to look after themselves, but criticism of the mother of the wife loving son unlikely to tolerate. Therefore it is better to act in other, more subtle ways.
No wonder they say: the Gentle calf two females sucks. First of all you need to understand that the mother-in-law really hard going through changes in her life. Daughter-in-law should try more often to praise her, interested in her life. Mother-in-law it is important to know that it does not deny that it is necessary, therefore, to the young wife will not hurt, if she asks the mother of the husband to share the secrets of her specialties, noting that prepares the peerless. Mother-in-law certainly will gladly tell you how to make the color of the soup rich and lush pie and rosy. But listening to the advice, you need to keep the situation under control, because cooking lesson can turn into humiliation "nothing able" daughter-in-law.
Its role in the relationship between two women can and must play a man. He knows his mother and is able to easily find her approach. By the way, the husband can and pass on the compliments to his mother. Well whose heart doesn't melt from these words: "Mom, Natasha yesterday all ears I have been talking about your embroidery. Surprised your taste, talent, and most importantly, how you all get on! ".
A cautious rapprochement
Will Podruga family members and joint case, for example, repairs in the apartment. Each will perform their tasks, and the result will be a General! However, to impose their assistance to the mother of the husband is not necessary, one can categorically not to take, describing such attempt as the invasion of their territory.
By the way, get closer to the new family needs carefully, trying not to cross the border. Especially it concerns the relations of the bride with father-in-law. The fact that fathers usually well take the spouse of the son, treat it with great patience and trust, but for the development of their friendship is closely monitored by the mother-in-law. Any compliment in the direction of a more youthful and beautiful daughter-in-law she perceives negatively, and it can be understood. Way of life-in-law has changed, in the house there was another woman, whose interest was to live beloved son, so she is very afraid of losing the support of his wife. Of course, direct mother-in-law won't tell anyone about the causes of their anger, but will find a way to prick her daughter-in-law. Therefore, in order to keep peace in the family, you should try to be friends with the mother-in-law, and father-in-law to build a good, but not too close.
Mother-in-law - in allies
In the house, where it came new-made husband and daughter, on the agenda are usually other problems. Father-in-law and son-in-law, though both men rarely compete with each other, on the contrary, the father refers to the son-in-law with gratitude for the fact that he made his daughter happy. But the feeling of gratitude arises, of course, only if the young man really deserves. To pudemo idler and libertine father-in-law hardly imbued respect. But our conversation about quite respectable family man, which I would like to believe, most.
Most often, tensions may arise between the son-in-law and mother-in-law, because any mother, dreaming of a future husband for her daughter, is nothing less than a Prince on a white horse. And real people, of course, there are always disadvantages. But emerging between these two people conflicts are usually resolved peacefully. As any caring mother, very worried about her daughter, afraid that that will have family problems and it comes to divorce. So it tries to create for son-in-law the most comfortable conditions, helps her daughter at home, cooks, cleans, washes.
Real animosity between mother-in-law and son-in-law often occurs if the mother of the wife does not have his own wife. Then the mother-in-law may regard the family's daughter as his own, instructing young obligations, which, in theory, should perform her man. If children will not be given to the mother neglected, it will begin to apply various methods of pressure on them, maybe even seriously ill, relying on the care of the family. Therefore, mother-in-law lives need to be interested, she should understand that need and her daughter, and her husband.
There is another cause of conflict mother-in-law and son-in-law - excessive talkativeness daughter. Not worth going into all the details, to tell my mother about the conflict with her husband. In the end, it turns out that the mother, wanting to protect your daughter will begin to deal with the son-in-law, and as a result will remain guilty.
Respect each other!
Of course, a family quarrel breaks out significantly less in the case if children live separately. But under this condition, the husband and wife not to depart from the decisions of several controversial issues: how often to visit his parents, who celebrate the holidays, to whom to entrust the education of grandchildren. The last issue is the hardest.
Mother-in-law and mother-in-law in such cases it is better not to push against, so even before you go to the hospital, the woman should immediately explain to the husband that at first in matters of child care she will need the help of her mother. The task of men to prepare to this decision of their parents, to avoid any misunderstandings. But then, of course, should not deprive anyone of the parents the opportunity to interact with kids.
Respect for parents and their feelings, in principle, is the key to strong families. Parents who feel good and sincere attitude, unlikely to provoke serious conflicts, and little whims them you can always forgive.
Source:
Ivona
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