Just remember your own. That's all baby and baby, this is understandable, it is home, more or less obedient. And suddenly - "today I will spend the night at a friend". Or "we walk will come after midnight." Where, with whom, why?! When home safely, so good! Well, my first reaction was to deny, not passsat! Moreover, if we are honest to understand here cares about your peace much more than concerns about the safety of the child. And very little confidence in him that he will be able to take care of themselves. Yes, I do in life disturbing. And as for the loved ones always.
But from my own experience I remember: the more I son just me frightening and disturbing for me was banned, so fierce he tried to escape from the circle of my bans. Oh and I dared to stop substitute "the care of the baby" their Maladechna reaction to his attempts to separate from parents. Began to tell him about themselves, their fears, anxieties. For him weird and stupid. And for me, essential. And then there was the possibility it talks. Taking into account the views and capabilities of both parties.
Of course, all moms and dads are different, but I think you can make this conclusion: if a parent yells, prohibits, "don't let it, then it is likely much for you now afraid. Afraid, most likely, their own pictures and fears. And if you really feel so... quite an adult can, and sometimes will feel sorry for her/him here? And then "op" will appear quite differently...
And even from my mother's experience. Somehow he caught himself on the concrete envy to your teenager. It is his freedom from excessive debt and obligations. Which I overloaded "to the ears". The fact that he can easily score at school or home responsibilities and, for example, to drive a thread "shooter", or to walk away for half a day... Much it angered me. And in this rage, in addition to good enough my desire to impress upon him that in life there are certain limits and obligations to do sometimes in addition to your desire and will, was a fair chunk of my adult envy and longing for their freedom. Which is so easy to "place" in the process of educating younger?
Here the parent of the little "expand" can help this very specific question: "What are you, dad-mom, want? What do you desire now? And as far as you are free to follow them? And if you deprive of freedom, and here am I?! "
The most difficult format can be with their mothers that "pump" that "all my life laid to give you the best thing was forgotten, and so on and so forth, and now you are where it's from me?! What are you wanting these for me wild?! Impossible!!! " Yes, this manipulation is very, very hard. Because like it determination you should now what? My life be put to return the best mother, himself in reply to forget, and so on... the Horror!
But there is one small caveat, which is the mother recalled. These decisions - to give birth and raise you this way (the price of victims and violence over their other necessities of life), was taken just without you. And had taken quite a grown-up, through it is your choice to live this way and not otherwise. And how do you then in this situation can be expected? Question...
Yet the intensity of the parent passions may be slightly adjusted after their return to their adolescent experience. "Remember how it was with you, eh? You really enthusiastically did the homework? Was ready to give up on interesting to you to spend the evening with mom-dad at the TV? You loved to wash the dishes and vacuuming?! " Of course, they will try "cruelty" on the subject of debts and obligations. That everyone, everyone, life in society, and so on... Well, that's exactly my meaning is. But still in the system should be somehow acceptable to you, the debt ratio and pleasures, your desires and wishes of friends and relatives... Or simply "sheet"... And that's just about it, in my opinion, with adults as an adult you can talk...
This article has turned out uneven Pieces... Well... the topic is too controversial...
It seems that only at the very end I understood what for me is adolescence. About freedom. Rather, on a bright and powerful awareness of its necessity in life. And energy to achieve. First, through rebellion, protest, through the "Vice versa". And then, as they grow older, through the recognition of the values that the pieces fit exactly with your freedom. As with the perceived need for your development. Becoming your uniqueness.
And choosing your path. And readily grown-up for these elections to answer - first of all, to yourself...
Source:
School of life
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