The noise from a passing tractor, the rumble of cars, jingle jackhammer work repairing the road... you will Agree, what would be loud and unpleasant sounds we heard a baby crying to endure the hardest. People years of work in the factories at the incredible roar of different machines and devices and not nervous about it. What will happen if a week day after day to listen to though not particularly loud baby crying? Yes just crazy! As is the nature of the human psyche. Cry, cry perceived as a signal of danger to living beings: "Help, I need help! " Men can still move away from the source of irritation and not to interfere, but women tend to help elderly people in a hurry to share the experience, and the grumblers angry shake your head or indignant.
In plain sight
It may seem that children start to act up for no apparent reason, but they certainly are. The child is hungry, he is cold, hot, bored, he was tired. The child requires attention to yourself or him suddenly for no apparent reason (and actually, if you look, it is quite natural) very much wanted a certain toy or entertainment, to make what is now not allowed. Try to anticipate difficult situations and avoid them. If you go to the clinic and know that there will be a turn, think about how you will entice a child. If you can tolerate the thought that the baby will be hungry after mug drawing, take him something to eat. Don't start a long walk without a wheelchair, if the kid barely learned to walk.
It is clear that the child will get tired and will ask for the hands... But to anticipate all possible. Therefore, you must learn to control "techniques calm". And to come up with something on the fly, when the baby whimpers and says the same, extremely difficult. In your Arsenal should be prepared several anti-cries, and each time, the tool must be new. So, the baby starts to cry. "Hey, yesterday I read in the newspaper that the zoo for a glass of crocodile tears give. Let's try a little Cup! Here I took with me just in case." You see, to cry "on order" will not work, and the baby will calm down. Continue the conversation, ask to live our crocodile, there will be enough private, will not eat if he's a cat, etc.
Next time give your baby going to cry, a piece of plasticine and show that it can make any subject. Here's umbrella, only folded, but to open it, press the button to see the button, you have to get glasses...
Welcome distraction is the most effective for children up to 4 years. But you should know, something to divert attention. After all, if every time to show the child a girl or a bird, he'll cry even harder, feeling the catch. Put a little effort, add a fantasy, and now baby wipes tears, staring at the small box from staples, in which is placed a large foam ball. Pretend that you have found it accidentally on the bench, and not specifically pulled from his pocket to distract the child from his desire to buy a toy or climb into a puddle.
If a baby cries when people, no matter how loud and piercing may seem you cry and like a lot of people neither was near, do not violate their principles upbringing. Often moms, feeling dissatisfied with the views of judgmental, willing to do anything, if only the kid stopped and no longer attracted attention. They are trying to close his mouth, yelling at him, but the child does not calm. Or, on the contrary, despite the ban, decided to give a play cell phone or buy a toy. In the inexpediency of the first method you will see immediately, the second on the next outing. To give the kid means to push it to a new hysterical, because last time it worked, and he got the desired. What else you should not do? Shaming the kid and show him that everyone was looking at him and condemn. Crumbs and so bad to calm him these words will not work. Moreover, such phrases heard in childhood, adults often force people to look around and to blush at imaginary jokes and invented the pangs.
My advice to you...
If the baby continues to cry, there are well-wishers and advisers. Fair to say that they never was lost, and that the advice and comments can catch parents and their children even in the quiet, I didn't anticipate any storm environment. "Oh, don't wear it in this. (the sling), he'll suffocate! ", "Don't let him suck on your finger, it is very dangerous! ", "Watch baby, he may fall! " or "do Not obey a mother will take you to myself! "You would, the girl didn't stir so the legs may hurt some! " Most people in our country love to give advice and consider it their duty to share experiences. The question is, how will you react to a replica in your address. Can be rude, you can ignore, you can joke, bringing the note to hyperbole, but do you need additional scandal or conflict? Next to you, your baby, who feels your condition or is already studying to build social relationships. Do you want to be quiet and to hide the hurt inside? If you need to come up with jokes and surprise people with your manners? After all, you can safely and confidently explain their point of view. And if practical advice or comment on the case, and you can thank - criticism is necessary to be able to take.
If more than anything else bothering you these tips and you are ready OIE-torn like a time bomb, it is likely that trouble with your low self-esteem and self-doubt. Tips strangers can be used as a kind of test for the young mothers. By the way, most of the comments originally addressed to them. People see the confusion and the inability and rush to help. To feel more confident and raise the baby, read more books and magazines for parents, communicate with competent people, don't be afraid to ask questions and know that better than you no one will be able to raise your child.
Side view
Often, watching other people's children and their parents and condemning such behavior, we forget to appreciate the ways of parenting, trying them on their kids, not. In addition, we need to understand that often we can't know enough to condemn or justify, therefore, not necessary to assess and intervene in the lives of others. Just one example. In the clinic, the mother and son are preparing for the delivery of blood. Baby restrained whimpers quietly complains, but the mother does not respond, and purposefully leads the baby in the Cabinet. Compassionate grandmother begin to wail: "Oh, mother, pressed to your baby, sorry, kissed. Poor baby! " Here boy, hearing his regret, he wept, and made a real tantrum, screaming: "I'm no hero, I'm a coward! " Needless to say that, if the attitude of the mother bravely to donate blood "not upset" strangers, problems would be much less. All children are different: someone to be pitied, and someone to tell about the exploits of the hero.
However, there are times when even people who clearly understand personal boundaries of others, forced to make a remark good-for-nothing parents or to give advice. These cases concern the safety of the child or others, the parent aggression, indifference to the abuse of animals, etc., But here is its subtlety. That remark was heard, it must be properly done. You softly say in case of danger: "you Have such a wonderful little boy, try to keep such a miracle. I think it is dangerous to leave the stroller! " And if the rough jerk irritated mother, raising her hand to the child, you can make it even worse. Try to distract her extraneous issues like "How to..? " or "can You tell what this street? " Just don't pass it by, thinking that everyone has the right to raise the child as she sees fit, because our children will have to live next to those parents were beaten and called names at all, and no one to intercede.
An hour later...
If the child really has exceeded the standards of conduct on the street, Narikala enough, got a lot of comments and replicas of themselves and their parents, even when at home, not so easy to deal with anger and resentment. Begin to judge the child: "all children as children. And you have me... " Oh, no! All children from time to time crying on the street. Only when the screams of others, somehow think: "How good that my child doesn't act like that! " Or such thoughts come to your mind? A few minutes later blame themselves: "what am I for this mother, break on the baby? " Ordinary mother, imperfect, of course, but the native and expensive. You just need to understand that the ideal moms does not exist, as well, and perfect children.
Author:
M Androsova
Source:
Happy parents
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