If the mother re-marries - it can become a serious challenge for any child. It is therefore very important to correctly enter into the family of a new man that will become a stepfather for your son or daughter. How to do it? Despite popular belief, children can easily get used to the new Pope and not disrupt family life. But for this mother will need to show their abilities. However, if you follow the recommendations of the experts, it will be easy.
- Define strategy. In any case, can not act rashly and hastily. If just one day to bring home a new man, and say to the child: "experience" - you can expect the most deplorable consequences.
You need a real strategy to combat. Think about every step, keeping in mind the main goal: it is not possible to present stepfather as a substitute for the real father. Not worth it to destroy the importance of the figure of the father in a child's life is fraught with psychological problems and conflicts in the family. Try to keep the stepfather was given his own place. And to the father remained constant size for a toddler or a teenager - not less and not more important than my stepfather.
- Do not rush. By "gluing" a new family takes time, so don't expect that your child will immediately imbued with warm feelings towards his stepfather. For this reason, experts recommend to rush with cohabitation. Before you start to live together, the child and prospective stepfather should look to each other, to study the tastes and interests, find common ground. The better they know each other, the easier it will adapt after the start of cohabitation.
- Hold a meeting. Sounds too official, but that's what you need at the moment. At this meeting should include you, the baby's father and your new man. The last two need to get acquainted and to establish smooth relations. The less tension between them, the better for the child.
Discuss with the two men for their role after you gather with loved ones. Listen to what they expect from this situation. Specify in advance the maximum number of contentious issues: vacation, holidays, visits to the child's father and so on, Set clear rules with which to agree and father, and stepfather.
- Don't terminate contact with her ex-husband. In fact, after the appearance in the family of his stepfather, the child may try to manipulate you. For example, if you or stepfather will give him something to deny, he will speak to the father. And if that will not support your decision, and agree not to avoid conflict. It is therefore very important to regularly confer with the father of the baby and to find a common language, at least on key issues in education.
- Save the usual child's routine procedures. It is very important that the kid knew: his life will not change dramatically when her stepfather. Therefore, we must do our utmost to hold on to what he was used to: sleep, meals, socializing with family and friends, trips to the zoo, etc.
If all the above recommendations, the child will be much easier to get used to the new man in his life. And, of course, do not forget to show the child that you still love, and that his place in your heart can't take no one ever.
Source:
Between us girls
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