How to get out of the triangle of Karpman

Perhaps, to start with you will want to know how to get there.


Can please you: most of us even live in it most of their precious time!




The triangle of Karpman is one of the most popular "games people play", psychological trap into which we tighten or close friends, and we invite dear characters.




Did you ever act as a kind of permanent vests, receiving streams friendly tears and curses "these rascals", "the goat", "debility Director" or "bitches from the fifth floor"?





If "Yes" - you have repeatedly visited in the role of "Savior".


Have you ever meet a man's life, who do you see as the focus of all your misfortunes, the author of all your problems, the evil demon of your nights and the black sun of your days, the person you gladly have been punished for it and would feel extremely well?





If "Yes" - you are a professional kochmanovska "Victim".


Have you ever become someone's punishment, someone's grief onion, the object of vicious hatred and sophisticated curses? Lives next to you the man who showers you with expletives every time she sees you happy and healthy? Maybe it's your wife who bursts into tears every time he remembers about his ruined life next to this idiot? Or husband, sadly itchy friends about his wife-saw, which will never be pleased no embossed carpet or thirteenth salary, nor sober Sunday?





If "Yes" - you are a classic karmanovski "Stalker".


In this game people play for centuries: because the Victim is like to be a Victim (as the same, so poor and miserable, all the regret and sigh over the poor creature), the Pursuer like to be a Stalker (because chase is to be strong), and the Savior like to save - because who saves, he is almost a God.




Moreover: the victim and the Stalker sometimes reversed (for example, miserable wife goes to the left of the noble vengeful motives, or satterley husband bitterly complains about the fate of the young mistress), feel masochistic pleasure of role change and gladly return to the previous state of the Victim and the Stalker complaining about his Savior.




One of the options triangle of Karpman: a couple in which the husband sometimes drink and once in five years is not home to sleep.




Wife, which pulls the wires from the neighbor with their constant complaints about his "goat" - it does not matter, drink it or just throws socks.




The neighbor who gave up their own children and husband, because she can't refuse his Wife's comfort and understanding.




The man who periodically sagelive (aka the beast) and being "tipsy", complains all recklessly, as zapiola his Wife.




Neither the husband nor the Wife will never leave, though, and will swing the divorce before the public face several times a day.




Another variant: a good husband, a good wife and a good lover. Or: the evil and greedy boss, Secretary and her friend from a neighboring office. Or: two business partner and a poor relative.




The victim and the Stalker in the triangle of Karpman always feel great, despite the obvious unhappiness, and suicide attempts.




The worse is the Savior - because it stretches all energy on maintaining the existence of a sweet couple.




If you fall into this terrible role is an urgent need to get out.




There are several effective ways to leave a triangle of Karpman:




Stop to comfort the Victim. She comes to you just for that - for all your sound advice like "divorce" or "to leave" she skips on deaf ears, because to break the triangle to Sacrifice means to give up the most to be the Pursuer. It is desired only as an indispensable attribute of this game - it's making sure she is waiting for you. Will cease to comfort - it will stop you to be satisfied.




Keep in mind: as soon as you will cease to comfort the Victim, you will instantly transform her Pursuer, will be found a new Savior, and the triangle will work with renewed energy. So take the time away until he scrolled idle and let you out into the fresh air.




Tell me straight: "I do not think it necessary to interfere in your relationship". That is just not get caught.




Maronites. "When was this? At the Banquet? Oh, and remember what dress was Masha? I saw this on sale in the Mall... You haven was there?




Be constructive. "I see how hard for you, but if you expect me to help tell me what I can do." If satisfactory response is not received, you stupidly use. Get out of the game.




As for the Victim and the Stalker - unfortunately, take them out of the favorite roles can only be a good therapist.

Source:

Belarusian women's portal

women's web magazine