Sometimes the fear is so great that the child is afraid to go to sleep. However, children scare not only nightmares but darkness, and loneliness, and bandits and robbers, and much more.
The prophet Elijah in the chariot rides...
"Once we Vanya came under a terrible downpour. It was a real waterfall from heaven! Blew a Gale-force wind, thunder, and then the lightning flashed. We were walking in the Park when suddenly a storm began, and before he could reach home. Vanya sat in a wheelchair with lowered visor, covered with my jacket and waterproof cover, but still wept uncontrollably - was very frightened. Yes I and itself was not myself. Since Ivan is still afraid to go outside in the rain, even if slightly drips".
Elena, mother of 3-year-old Vanya
Expert commentary
It is very important, seeing that the kid is scared of something, to find out the cause of fear, to comfort the baby, to take arms, to caress. In any case, don't laugh at the child and not reproach him of cowardice, otherwise the kid will learn that you not only will not help, but will insult. Imagine that you are something terribly frightened, complained to her husband, and the husband instead of sympathy and support made fun of you.
About many problems of children we can say that over time their child will grow. However, fear is not the case as the baby grows, and his fears are growing along with it. It is therefore important to help the child to cope with the "horrors" of fantasy.
Helping the child to overcome yourself, take your time. "Slow and steady wins the race" - says the famous Russian proverb. Better to get rid of fears gradually, so they disappeared as if by themselves. Always remember that the child is his cowardice prevents to live and tears it much stronger than you. Therefore expel fear not sarcasm, and praise. For example, if the child did not dare to go outside in the rain, and only opened the door, looked out, leave feedback, tell relatives (child) about his brave act, admire. The child will want once again to hear from you nice words, and next time he will look, and then on the porch will be released. And so will gradually be able to overcome his fear, without shouting and tantrums.
Don't want to go to bed!
"Every night unable to put the child. Sometimes the son of scandals openly, and sometimes even and agrees to go to bed, but fifty runs to the toilet or get a drink of water. One day he confessed to me that she is afraid of bad dreams. But I think it's just an excuse to longer I sat with him".
Karina, mother of 3-year-old Dima
Expert commentary
At the age of 3-4 years, children begin to learn more about the world, and fears become more difficult. So, many kids do not want to go to bed for fear of the nightmares that children perceive as something completely independent on them, and therefore powerful. Eerie images can haunt a child for years, so moms and dads should not let things take their course, by avoiding the topic of bad dreams. Encourage the child to talk about dreams frighten him, persuade a toddler to draw previewsize images and be sure to notice the funny details in his drawings.
You can also play bad dreams with the help of puppet theatre, making the story an unexpected funny turn of events. Focus crumbs on the absurdities and absurdest dreams, taking the child from the accurate reproduction of a bad dream and making the play's ending is positive. For example, if in the dream the baby could not run away from the monster, in the scene he can tighten the line to the monster stumbled and with grunts and squeals stretched on the road. So, opening a terrible dreams, the child will feel that acquires the power of dreams, and stop being afraid to fall asleep in the evenings.
The horror of white coats
"When I was two years old, we were in the hospital with pneumonia. For Janet it was a terrible stress, especially as several times a day she pricked antibiotics. Since Yana insanely afraid of doctors. Even on the examination by a pediatrician she cries and capricious. No persuasion does not help. I want to help the child, but I don't know what to do".
Mary, mother of 3-year-old Yana
Expert commentary
Many children are afraid of doctors, injections, pain. Fearing the ridicule of peers, school age children overcome such fears. However, and here it is necessary to help the kid. Especially if the child was psychological trauma and remained persistent, little controlled fear hospital and doctors. You can read the fairy tale "the adventures of yellow suitcase" or "Doctor Aibolit" and then play the scenes on these works. Buy "doctors bag" and play with the baby in the hospital. Procedures that cause the child's fear, play as closely as possible. It is important that the child visited a doctor, and role in patient. And let them play different patients: first, bold and self-possessed, and then the fearful chicken. Not only hinting baby that he is in real life behaves exactly like the last one, cowardly patient. And even if a child is going to start such a conversation, dispel his doubts and tell me that before, he may have behaved in a similar manner, but today everything is different.
Children who visited the hospital, often hidden fears. So to play the "hospital" is necessary only in the complete absence of resistance of the child. If a kid tells you that this game doesn't like, he's tired, wants to walk/to read/to draw, then, the fear of hospitals is still so strong that we should postpone the game for a while. And when you start again, let "sick" is not a child, and bear or doll, in order to avoid direct analogy. In the game show, as parents, relatives, friends visit a little patient, bring gifts, gifts, look. Or the plot can be rotated in the other direction: the hospital got Mama bear, and he visits her and encourages. Gradually, when the child will cease to resist, he can try to play patient. Emphasize that kid is a real brave man, hero subjected to severe mental and physical suffering (and often that is true) that his respect, appreciate, love.
"I'm so lonely"
"When Lena was 2, 5 years, we went to a large shopping center. I turned away for a moment to pay at the cashier, and when I looked back - Lena gone. Daughter found quite quickly, but she was in shock. Since the child as a substitute. Lena is afraid to stay alone even in my room! It need to constantly feel the presence of relatives".
Daria, mother of 3-year-old Lena
Expert commentary
As a rule, fear of loneliness subject impressionable, nervous kids who usually timid, indecisive, have a rich imagination and high intelligence. However, when a developed imagination they do not know how to take a bad play in single player, are bored, they don't have really deep inner life. And because these children do not go to their imagination, the imagination begins to draw them chilling picture. The terrible images haunt these kids even in the daytime. This feature is enhanced if the child has psychological trauma: he was lost, there was one in the hospital was for a long time at an early age divorced from the mother and so on, So these kids so need constant company of other people.
To help the child, thateasy loneliness, not only possible, but necessary - primarily directing a rich imagination in a creative direction. Teach baby role play, practice drawing, modeling, and play with the baby in the game to overcome the fear of loneliness. For example, a child may act in the role of a small puppy who got lost while Hiking or in the store: the puppy was confused, scared, crying. Think of what KIND of event occurred with a puppy in the future and how in the end they found him the joyful parents that puppy told of their interesting adventures. Or you can play the game in which he will play the role of a patron: the child (portrays himself), walking on the street, sees a lost, crying with grief and horror baby, soothing her, takes under his wing and helps look mom. At the end of the happy baby's mother and the authorities of the city award the child with the order of valor and courageous defender.
In addition, gently teach your child to stay in the room alone. First, for a short period of time, 3-5 minutes, gradually increasing the time interval. But leave the kid not just as promising a surprise. You can even play the game "Exchange of surprises: you go into another room for a gift for the baby, and the baby at this time must come up with a surprise for you. Just try to keep your gift a really happy baby, and don't skimp on the praise, receiving a "gift" from a child. Positive emotions and interesting job will displace fear, and slowly the baby will get used to be alone.
Author:
Sandalova K.
Source:
Happy parents
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