To identify the cause of disobedience and bad behavior of the baby is quite simple, just take a closer listen to your own feelings! When a child is fighting for your attention, you get annoyed, and trying to resist the will of the parent, " you're beginning to get angry. If hidden reason of disobedience - the revenge, your feelings - resentment. With deep experience of the child's own trouble mother falls into the power of hopelessness, and sometimes despair. What to do next? The General answer to the question is not to react usual way, because a vicious circle. The more adult dissatisfied, the more the baby is satisfied: his efforts have reached the goal! "No second chances"
"Children should obey the elders is the main principle in education. And no matter how old they are - 6 or 16. The discussion here is invalid. The child cannot give concessions, otherwise it will sit parents on the neck"
Too strict upbringing, based on principles that are not always understandable to a child, reminds training. Son or daughter may unquestioningly carry out all the requirements, when parents are near, and to ignore the prohibitions when they are not. The belief is better rigor: "now You do as I say, and in the evening we will discuss why and why".
"I'm not going to love"
"Why is the child so often disagree about any of my requests? Maybe he's doing to spite me? To appeal to common sense? Threaten that you will cease to love him? "
Method "I do not love", fortunately, is not valid. Promise not to love her baby is one of the strongest means of education. However, this threat is usually not carried out. And the children feel perfectly false. Once deceiving, the mother can lose the confidence of a child - he will perceive parents as people lying. Better to say:
"I still love you, but your behavior is strongly disapprove".
"Any desire - the law"
"I am ready to do everything for her baby. Childhood is a short season, it should be fine. Morals, failure, frustration is in my power to save the child from harm. So cool to guess and to fulfill any desire! "
Spoiled children in life is not easy. When parents blow the fluff with the baby, he does not feel happier. On the contrary, feels helpless and alone. "Just try to do it yourself, and if you fail, I will be happy to help" - one of the options is a wise attitude to daughter or son.
"He will learn and understand"
"Why bother? To find arguments to prove something to be nervous? The child must learn to solve problems. It is necessary to prepare for adult life, he will soon become independent"
It is not necessary to show the baby, if the mother is still what he does. Pipsqueak felt indifference, will immediately begin to see how it "real". And, most likely, the inspection will involve committing bad deeds. Child is waiting, will critique. Instead, ostentatious indifference to try to establish friendly relations: "In this matter I disagree with you. But I want to help you, because I love. When you need, you can ask me for advice".
"Child - mom's best friend"
"A daughter is the most important thing in my life. I share with her the secret. She understands me as an adult, even though she is only seven, my daughter is my best friend"
The child will do anything to please parents: mom and dad, for him, the most important people in the world. The kid is ready to dive into the complex world of adults, rather than to discuss their interests with their peers. But the issues remain unresolved. Do not overload the child's psyche their complexes and fears.
"It has a bright future"
"In my childhood I wanted to do ballet, to learn playing the piano and play ten-SIS, but I had no such Wosmognosti. And now the heads-na and. of EAV-to give the child what gave me. Daughters don't really want to, but I know that time will pass and she will appreciate my efforts"
Children do not always appreciate the efforts of parents. And often brilliant future, drawn older, broken on the child's reluctance to engage in, say, music. While it is still small and obey adults, but then starts to protest. Therefore, filling the day her daughter needed and useful lessons, do not forget to leave her little time for personal Affairs.
"No kisses! "
"A lot of affection in childhood can lead to sexual problems Orientali. In short, no hugs and kisses - there are more important and serious things, for example, to teach the son to the discipline and accuracy"
Children of any age need a caress, it helps them to feel loved, gives confidence in their abilities. But remember: the desire to snuggle up in most cases must come from the child. Do not force him his love is active-this can push him.
"The whipping boy"
"It happens that the child gets a hot hand. Can't keep the irritation that had accumulated during the day. Know that it is bad, but console myself with the fact that then helps him something to fold from the designer, read a bedtime story and buy long-promised toy"
The mother should show the child that it pleased his good deeds and grieve bad. So the children see in the inviolability of the code. If the adults in favor of your mood today something loose, and tomorrow the same forbid, a child can understand only one thing: anyway, what I'm doing, more importantly, what the mother's mood. It is better to agree in advance: "When I have a good mood, you still won't be allowed to do whatever you want. And if I'm in a bad mood, try to be condescending to me".
"Can't buy! "
"I pressed for money, so can't afford even to indulge the child, always have him all to refuse, he donative old things, etc., in short, if I had more money I'd be a better mother"
Love money can't buy. Sounds pretty corny, but it really is. It often happens that in families with low income adults make the child not needed. But parents should not feel remorse for not being able to fulfill all his desires. Actually love, affection, sharing, games and leisure time spent together for the kid much more content in the parent purse.And, if you look, not money make the child happy, and knowing that it is for his mom and dad very best.
"I'm so Busy... "
"I'm very busy at work, but every free minute I try to spend with your child: take him into the garden, cook for him, wash clothes, to buy what he needs. I think the son should understand that moms just don't have time to play and read with him"
Adults often forget a simple truth: if you gave birth, you need time for him to find. The kid who constantly hears that her mother no time to be looking for attention with other people. Even if the day is planned to the minute, in the evening, take half an hour (in this issue as more important than quantity) to sit at the crib toddler, talk to him, tell a story or read a book. Crumbs necessary.
Reasons not to obey
Psychologists have identified four main causes of violations of children's behavior:
The first is the struggle for attention.
If the child does not receive enough attention that he so necessary for normal development, he finds his way to get it is disobedience.
The second assertion. Children is not easy, when parents communicate with them only in mandatory form. They are responsible stubbornness, actions against. The meaning of this behavior is to show that the child's personality. And no matter what his decision is sometimes not the best, even erroneous. But it's self!
The third is the desire for revenge. For example, parents are more attentive to the younger, his mother divorced his father, in the house there was a stepfather, parents always find out the relationship. The meaning of bad behavior: "I am with you uncomfortable, though you will also be bad! "
The fourth is the loss of faith in their own success. After accumulating the bitter experience of failure and criticism, the child loses confidence, he formed low self-esteem: "you shouldn't try, still nothing happens." While outwardly he shows that he "still", "so bad". It is important to understand that we provoke children for disobedience.
We called the 10 most common mistakes that parents make parenting. Don't do them - and the kid will delight you with excellent behavior. Well, except that sometimes... So we all can be children!
Source:
HSS-Tot
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