Such people on the planet is small, approximately 1%, but still they exist, they live among us, and therefore it is possible that you wife can get people from this category.
The story, which will be discussed, atypical. Came a man who has a family (wife and two children), but all of his sexual life to him seems very strange and confusing.
To his own wife from the very beginning of married life "somehow does not pull". Liked just to communicate, and to sex some absolute indifference. In order to understand himself and to check their sexual orientation, a young husband decided a couple of times to go "left." But it did not give any satisfaction: neither moral nor physical. Once again no reason to have sex with his wife, he began to drink. And they did it more and more. After 4 months of marriage no sex in General it was not conducted. Husband came drunk all the time from work and went to bed. Things got worse. He became an alcoholic.
But to divorce his wife he wasn't going. Love for children is not haunted. How is he today? And children are very fond of him. No, it's more than his strength.
Time passed, the situation has not changed, and one day the wife said that to live any longer, that she is still young, needs love and understanding, etc.
And here for our hero was just pandemonium.
The family, especially the children, for him the most precious life. In order to discover his own wife, he begins to porn movies. But as soon as it comes to bed, all desires disappear as by magic. "Quietly to himself," man receives sexual satisfaction, and more to him and it is not necessary.
Out of fear of losing family, its only stronghold in my life, the husband begins to haunt his wife. Persecution mania goes beyond all conceivable limits. He understands that is stupid, wrong, what is already "got" her with his suspicions. As a result, family relationships become even worse than they were.
He stopped to sleep at night (appeared insomnia), smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Thoughts about how he should live on, pursued him round the clock. Whatever he does not will, does not bring the desired result.
But this phenomenon is not entirely unfounded. This so-called asexuality.
Basically, people experiencing similar feelings of reluctance of sex, trying to force myself to: get married, have children. But the more they are torturing yourself, the harder it is to live in the family. How to confess to a spouse that sex with him does not cause the slightest desire? Such marriages, as a rule, are doomed to failure. In society is that people just could not find a suitable partner, since he did not have sexual impulse or desire. But asexual wife didn't feel disgust. The second half is difficult to understand why such coldness in bed.
Gradually, the disorder leads to divorce.
A man or woman from the category of asexual can masturbate, but some special emotional outburst or pleasure from sex without experience. For such people is much more important than purely human relationships, and sex, by and large, doesn't mean anything.
Asexually, as a rule, do not want to change anything in your life, even if you have to completely abstain from sex. In a society of such people especially does not show itself. Therefore, it is almost impossible to calculate or determine some characteristics of appearance or behavior.
Women asexual more than men. This category of people more passionate about religious teachings. According to the poll of asexuals never attracted as a sexual partner, neither men nor women. It was determined that women in this group occurs later puberty. Another small difference identified during the survey: people in this category are worse educated than the LGBT group. They are also more prone to suicide, have a fairly long post-traumatic syndrome, as many of them had been sexually assaulted or raped at a later age.
Sexuality is the second instinct in importance in anyone's life after survival instinct
.
Theoretically, one can be quite happy without sex, that, in fact, can be observed in the environment of asexuals.
Normally or abnormally, it is difficult to judge. Science today does not give a clear answer to this question. But if people will know that he is not unique, there is nothing wrong or shameful in it, and relationships will be built in a completely different way.If you can accept yourself the way you are, then people will be able to take you. Looking for similar, and life won't seem so grim.
What should those who are already married and suffers from similar problems?
In my opinion, the best way is to confess to his wife in the true state of things, than to invent stories or to bring your body to a state of insanity with only one purpose - to avoid sexual contact. If you trust You will always find a way. And it is not necessary to throw each other.
If your spouse will not be able to accept the situation, to leave will still be better than to continue joint painful accommodation. So, at least you will have the chance to find someone like you or even more not to marry.
Life is so multi-faceted that there will be enough of a niche for your happyrd.
At the same time with a sense of aversion to sex a man or woman feels a sense of superiority over other people. As a rule, goes full rejection to people of the opposite sex. The reason lies in the life history. Reasons could be several, but the main is the collapse of trust in people.
The loss of trust could occur in childhood or adolescence.
For example, if the child is in puberty had surgery, it can be perceived vulnerable psyche of a teenager as abuse by physicians over his body. Child (teenager) ceases to trust their loved ones. There is a feeling of resentment at his mother or father, internalized anger, even if the hatred for the fact that it did not protect against such punishment or not comforted at the right time, did not explain why this was done.
Sometimes parents do not even think about what injuries they cause their indifference to children's issues, considering them far-fetched or not worthy of attention. Almost all problems of adults have their roots in childhood.
Many parents calm myself: nothing, grow up son (or daughter), all will understand, we then explain it... And then, unfortunately, almost never works. Everything should be in its time. As they say, each vegetable has its time...
Sexual angelism is pathology.
And without intervention from it is almost impossible to get rid of. Sexy anoretic is unhappy people (unlike asexual). The failure of a person of the opposite sex as the person does not allow anoretic to live a normal life. The person avoids any contact either with women or with men. He can't be in a team at work, unable to attend any entertainment party, where there are representatives of both sexes, etc. etc.
But such people can be healed with the help of special techniques of psychotherapy. Of course, this process requires a long time. No one can guarantee how much you will need of therapy sessions: all people are different and everyone has different living conditions. Family structure and attitudes of relatives also play an important role in the rehabilitation process.
Author:
Tulinova Olga
Source:
here
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