Our consultant is a member of the European Association of psychotherapists, counselling and personal development Margarita Grytsenko.Relationship, full of love and understanding, often seem to be only a fairy tale. But each of us is capable to love and be loved and can create harmony in your life.
Sad to hear from girls or boys: "I don't want a family, because at first all is well, and then people fight and get divorced. And there is no guarantee that I will develop in a different way.
Parent relationships form the basis of the child's perception of love. If the house often talk in loud tones, and even cry, if the child is constantly hears angry voices, he will think it is quite valid communication style loving people. Growing up in such an atmosphere then it is difficult to build a normal relationship with my family. Someone repeats the parent script: lives in constant conflict. Others do not stand up and get divorced, but creating a new family, make the same mistakes. Others live alone, fearing the resentment and bitterness.
Everyone wants to love and be loved, to have a happy family, a secure rear. But it can not only those who remember the Golden rules of love.
The law of confidence
She was nervous when her husband was detained at work. It seemed to her that the reason can only be a woman. So she was listening to telephone conversations spouse, was interrogating. Igor also very jealous treated attempts wife to go to aerobics or a beautician. Secretly reading her diary, studied the contents of her handbag.
In this family the credibility long ago exhausted. For truly loving marital relationship, trust is vital. Without it, one man becomes suspicious, anxious, and the other gets into the emotional trap: it seems that freedom is lost. So learn to trust not only his beloved (beloved), but also by the relationship.
The law of sincere dialogue
Christina and Oleg married three years. At first there was love, and passion. But a year passed, and relationships have become more equal: she often resented her husband due to the fact that he had not guessed her desires (because she loves roses, not cloves); it was irritated that Oleg flirts with her when she is busy. But all this Christina never told her husband and he could not understand the reasons Christening grievances.
A common mistake among honeymooners: it seems that for a happy family life, simply love. But love is not an artificial flower that is not in need of care. It is like a living plant may bloom, and wither. All depends on how we cherish. Sincere communication for love, like water for plants - it is to survive. Talk to each other about their feelings and desires. Necessarily tell about how you husband (wife) love and cherish - do not be afraid to praise. And don't take good attitude for granted. Thanks!
The law of giving
Lyudmila has always been high demands on men. She wanted her husband's loving, caring, tender, passionate, apartment, car, etc. etc. Lyudmila ever wondered: what can give chosen it. He said, "If he will love me, then I'm going to take care of him". However, Lyudmila still alone, she recently turned 35.
To meet a true love, you must first sincerely and unselfishly give a piece of yourself. If you want to receive love, you have to give. And the more you give, the more you get. Love how the boomerang will come back. Although not always from the person you gave. But will return a hundredfold! And remember: supply of love we unlimited. And the only way to lose love is to give it to others.
But the problem is that many don't want to give first, they love with reservations: "I'll love you only if you will love me." Wait until someone makes the first move. It's like a musician say, "I will play, after the guests begin to dance. True love asks for nothing in return.
The law touches
Dima and Larisa clearly shared the duties. Larisa cooked, washed, cleaned. Dima earned money. With each other they talked only about the life. Sex was engaged on schedule no unscheduled hugs and touches. However, at first, Dima tried to fool around with his wife at an unreasonable hour, but she resisted. As it turned out, in childhood Larisa never with parents not amused; the arms of her family, too, were not accepted.
Touch is one of the strongest manifestations of love. It breaks barriers and strengthen relationships. To restore the normal atmosphere in the family psychological practice even recommends special training: often hug partner just like that, without a sexual motive; naughty as children; people holding hands like young lovers. By the way, "the disciples" they say it is the most difficult homework in their lives.
In one of the hospitals of London, was an experiment. In the evening, on the eve of the operation, the surgeon usually visited his patient, to give a General talk about the upcoming event and to answer patient questions. And when the experiment doctor during a conversation holding a patient's hand. Now this patient recovered 3 times faster than others.
When you care for someone touch changes your physiology: reduces stress hormones, relaxes the nervous system, strengthens immunity, improves emotional state. Wise people say: if you gently't hug 7-8 people, you are doomed to disease.
The law of liberty
Natasha and Vitaly were married recently. All was perfect. But after a while Natalia felt that her husband is trying to manage it: imposes its opinion, takes over its decisions. If she goes his own way, he is very angry and hours chastises her as a child. But she believes that she is an adult and free to make decisions for themselves.
If the person you love, give him freedom. Freedom of choice, freedom to live the way he wants, not the way you want it. Of course, it's not easy. But there is no alternative. Not to feel trapped, everyone needs personal space.
This article uses material from the book of Adam Jackson "10 secrets of love"
According to the magazine "the World of family, No. 3, 2004
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