In everyday life, whether we want it or not want, we are inevitably faced with the problem of conflict. Disputes can arise anywhere, anytime and with anyone. We collide: at work with colleagues or superiors; at home with your spouse, children or relatives; Yes public transportation, finally! This process takes a lot of effort, time and health, as well as, of course, spoils our mood.To avoid conflict situations and their consequences is almost impossible, because in the process of life, our interests will inevitably clash with the interests of other people. As a consequence there is a conflict.
How to behave in case of occurrence of such a situation? Do I need to sacrifice its interests for the sake of "peace"?
A definite answer to this question does not exist, and cannot exist, because each case is individual and requires individual approach. However, there are a number of General recommendations, which will help you in the process of finding ways out of the situation.
To begin, you need to remember that the best conflict - not existing! Therefore, to solve the problem is necessary before it appears. It is worth noting that the conflict is not a conflict, it acts as a ladder leading to conflict. But it all depends on which direction you're moving (in the direction of conflict or reconciliation).
If the conflict is not possible to prevent the situation begins to gain momentum, try to remain calm. Don't panic!
Look at this situation from the outside, analyze it. Answer yourself the following questions: what is the problem? Why did it appear? What is your disagreement? How does the conflict situation, what are its dynamics?
Engaging in the process of confrontation, you need to clearly realize the goal that you are pursuing. As this largely depends on the result of your efforts aimed at the resolution of a dispute. Analyze how adequately you perceive a conflict.
Very often, in situations of conflict, we do not correctly perceive their actions and intentions of the opponent. We rarely think of ourselves as victims, and are deeply convinced that not deserve such a harsh attitude, assuring others that justice is entirely on our side. We sharply criticize the actions of the enemy, aware of the fact that behave similarly, but their actions are often justified. Sometimes one of the opponents sees the flaws and errors of another, not noticing similar errors in itself.
These and similar errors inherent in each of us in a conflict situation and, as a rule, only exacerbate the conflict, as there is a real danger of being trapped in our own prejudices. Assuming a hostile attitude opponent, we automatically begin to defend themselves from it, going on the offensive. As a consequence there is a similar reaction from the other side towards us, and our preliminary assumption begins to be confirmed, although it was not correct.
Conflict resolution is an art! And it is very important in the process of mastering this skill to make as few mistakes as possible! So there are some rules that help the parties to find the most suitable path of reconciliation.
- Emotions under control! Not Porirua events (conflictus slowly).
- Not "zaziklivatsja" in fact conflict, look for the root cause.
Define for all negative and positive options for the development of the conflict.
- Do not strive to "hush up" the conflict, bringing it to its logical end.
Not conflictus for nothing.
- The Golden rule of humanity - do unto others as you would like that would do to you.
- Who makes the first step towards reconciliation, he wins!
- Learn not only to listen to the arguments of the opponent, but to hear them.
So, when we analyzed the situation and are ready to begin resolution of the conflict, the question arises where to start?
The first step in this situation is "control of emotions". It allows you to defuse the situation and to begin to address the problem. This can be achieved by using such statements addressed to the opponent: " I know you're nervous and very angry. I irritated not less. But we need to find a way out of the situation, so it's best to leave emotions. Are you ready to do this? ". If a person does not control his emotions, tell him the following: " I see that you're still nervous. I would like to understand the cause of your anger? ". Such a statement on your part gives the opponent the opportunity to realize the fact that you are ready to start solving the problem.
When the mind prevailed over emotions, you can proceed to the next step. Find out the position of the other hand, it will help you to understand the desires of your opponent and his / her needs. Look at the situation from the point of view of another person, even if you do not agree with it. In the process of dialogue to avoid to make judgements about the feelings of the opponent, it can cause a confrontation. If the other side starts a conversation with accusations in your address, do not answer back (that you earn " in your address) and all charges will go on "no". Vovici other person in the conflict resolution process, even if you can take the initiative. The main thing that he had the impression of importance to his opinions. Look for ways to resolve differences together.
Find out the hidden interests of the opponent, this can be achieved by means of basic communication. Ask why they chose that position. Asking questions are calm, friendly tone. In my conclusions try to take into account the full range of causes that can influence the position of the enemy.
The next step on the path to conflict resolution - extension alternative solutions to problems that satisfy opponents. The more solutions to the problem, the greater the likelihood that the problem will be solved. In discussing alternatives, sosredotachivaja in the future, do not destroy the positive atmosphere excursions into the past. Maintain openness to different ideas, regardless of whom they were nominated by you or the other party. Do not hurry when choosing the best option. Before you make a final decision, it is good analyze.
If you have already decided on the solution of the problem, describe your opponent benefits that he will receive as a result. Thus, people who recently was your opponent, you feel that you take into account its interests, and will do the same for you. After the final resolution of your dispute, thank your buddy, this can be done by using the following phrase: " I am very glad that we managed to find a common language! I am very thankful that you listened to me, and we managed to solve the problem together! "
The decision was made! Both sides are satisfied! The conflict has been resolved!
Certainly, in this article we have touched only the peak of the conflict of the iceberg. As the phenomenon of conflict is much broader and more complicated, it is multifaceted and takes various forms, ranging from intrapersonal conflict to political and military. But still, I sincerely hope that shown in this article advice that might help you make your life a little bit better. It's so nice is in harmony with the environment and people. Strive not!
Source:
Our Life
No comments:
Post a Comment