How to prepare your child to appear in the family of another baby? Oddly enough,
the first and one of the most important tasks timely and proper sex education. Of course, a competent sex education should be initially, and not only in connection with a new pregnancy.
What do you mean? The first interest of the kid on the origin of the kids he may know that having children is an amazing majestic is a miracle created by Nature, God, or simply existing as a fact). That the children receive from the love of mothers and fathers to each other and are the materialization of this love (we can say that when people love each other, they want to create together something extraordinary, wonderful and joyful! And what can be brighter and better than this kid like you! ) is the spiritual aspect. And material: the fact that a baby is growing in mommy's tummy and goes through a special hole that exists just for this purpose (not to create associations with injuries! ).
Why would he know all this? Then, is that the baby is laid down, though still unconscious, but reverent and respectful attitude to the emergence of new life. Besides, the kid always wants the love between their parents, so friendly and happy to take in all that is connected with it. Traditional "sex tales" is about the stork, cabbage, purchase in the shop or the hospital - create the child believe, by the way!! consumers ' attitude towards the human: want to buy and want to return back (or throw - think their it is full! ).
The second task will be adequate informing of the firstborn. We tell the child about a new pregnancy in the beginning! He also needs a lot of time to prepare. We talk with him about the date of birth of the youngest, not necessarily the date, better benchmarks - for example, in the spring or on dad's birthday. We can show him the pictures, the relevant date for the baby's development, and to discuss its tiny and amazing development of the growing man. It is possible to show on the doll is the baby in the belly, and for a longer period to probe along the leg, head, ass. The fact that the baby is difficult to link a round belly and a real baby with arms and legs; this game will help him to visualize it inside.
The child must know that the expected replenishment will not immediately turn into a full-fledged partner for games. There is nothing more frustrating failed expectations! Much calmer immediately know that the baby is helpless and the needy for attention and care, but he will grow fast enough) and it will be fun to play. It's worth to wait.
It is very useful to visit the families with newly born babies. Better to see once, as they say...
You need to discuss with the child the mother's absence at the time of birth, especially if he has never slept without my mother. Say that a trip to a special place is important for mom and baby healthy. The coincidence of stress from my mother's absence and the emergence of a new baby traumatic for older, so try to make the adaptation more gradual: often call from the hospital saying waiting for you at home the child of her love for him and let's hear the groaning and Peeps newborn.
The third task is positioning. Responsibility for the young person to find their place in a changing family structure. With the birth of the second child, the first born is changing its role only in the role of elder. The child tries himself in the role of patron and teacher for Junior and nearer to the desired maturity. In addition, in the role of senior your kid a sense of responsibility for helping mom and participation in the Affairs of the family. It is very important to encourage and stimulate the manifestation of adulthood and independence of the baby, but - of course! parental expectations should be adequate (taking into account age, temperament. features etc.)
Especially difficult for the child try on the role of the medium after the role of the younger. Jealousy average compounded by the fact that the role of "big and strong" is already occupied, and the role of the baby was confiscated. He needs a lot of attention and assistance in finding new and worthy role in the family.
The fourth task is love and attention! What is jealousy? This uncertainty and fear to get less love. Jealousy is a destructive emotion that destroys the baby inside or spills on the parents and a "competitor". But in reality, parental love is limitless and does not decrease one iota when divided by several offspring. It is very important to make it feel baby. Throughout the pregnancy and after the birth of the younger need to talk to your child about an even greater love for him, and the pride of his adulthood and provide him with more "signs of love: physical contact (hugs, kisses, humorous romp, and so on); warning (communication; team work; the time devoted only to him); respect (to his needs, moods, estimates and errors).
Where do you take so much time and energy? It's not easy, but easier than you think. Much time is spent on breast feeding? Excellent - it's time to read with your older book or just sincerely to talk. The youngest just went to sleep and want to do something on the farm? Fine - cut together with the senior salad, rinse baby diaper or wash the floor, fun and cheerful - what is not a joint activity? For household chores don't have the time to be alone with a senior? Learn to prioritize, and safely ignore the dirty floor in favor of mental health and normal development of a loved crumbs. Moreover, it is not for long - the first and most difficult months will pass quickly, and my mother will be the time all or almost all. Well, hugs, kisses, talking about everything no specific time is requested.
The fifth task - adaptation. All of the above steps will make the adjustment period easier and safer, but don't expect that it will not disappear completely. In the first few weeks (and maybe months) parents need to be attentive to the behavior and health of the older child, and to respond to the slightest sign of lack of attention and love.
Very often children begin to play in the "little" - are asked to feed their breast, to hold and to wear just as a newborn baby, swaddle, etc. to Scold or shame for these games were not - they are normal. This play helps the child to understand the new situation and adapt to it, and also to be in the shoes of a younger, to check if he is well, as it seems. To encourage or pay much attention to these games is also not necessary, the child will quickly realize all the flaws of the baby's position and will return to its usual behavior.
In order not to provoke the older of jealousy and competition, it is important not protivostojat children to each other, not to admire the younger and not to praise him in the presence of senior and not to focus on the fact that my mother is something "because small ...". It is better to use model "we are together", "Now you will pereteen baby, and then get the game you want" or "Our child is weak and needs with you in our adult assistance to.... Let's make it so-and-so".
The sixth task is to solve the problem. If you managed to solve the first five tasks, up to the sixth case could not be reached. How to react if a senior is trying to harm specially the younger (it should be kept in mind that the child can move and research interest that jealousy is not relevant). If you try, for example, a hit occurs when you, the right thing will be firmly but quietly, catching his arm, trying to get out of this place and talk with the child. To scold and punish - the last ways, because they claim the baby in the thought that he is not love, and love only "competitor".
It is best to start talking to your child with words of love and understanding of his feelings: "I love you very much and can see that you're upset and angry at your brother." Then we can say that her mother is very upset when her children are offended: "I will always protect their children from abusers, I defended him as I would protect you if ... or when ...".
If the first-born's behavior has changed (aggressiveness or Vice versa tearfulness, irritability, poor sleep, intense emotionality), it may make sense to consult a child psychologist, who will help your child and you to overcome this difficult period without losses.
From the wisdom and patience of parents will depend emotional comfort of the whole family, normal mental development of children and friendship between them. You are sure to get.
Source:
Uaua.info
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