Joint orgasm: myth or reality?

Not to be confused sexual solitude and peace. What is meant by sexual loneliness? Loneliness in which a person is married, but sex with your partner is not common.



We are so different


According to statistics, during partner sex orgasm constantly or regularly about 30 % women, 30% in half the time or less and 30 percent rarely or never.




The man, the partner may not be interested, but wonderful ejaculation with exquisite orgasm will be. If a woman is interested in a partner, she has at least the orgasm will be weaker than usual, or nothing will happen. Because the male orgasm is followed by ejaculation, i.e. a physiological process. And women - everything from the head, and no need to bind her orgasm impossible.





Distraction


While 99 % of women know what an orgasm. They have either in sleep, or during Masturbation. During Masturbation woman closed itself on itself. She herself raises itself from itself experiencing pleasure. And when the partner sex orgasm experience is not obtained. Partner it distracting. Violation occurs internal isolation. She can't adjust to the presence of another person in their own experiences. Even if he caresses her just as she caresses herself. This is the sexual loneliness - when a person is closed myself.





World of illusions


The majority of men and women during the next present themselves in a different situation, with another partner, in other ways. In other words, fantasize. That is, distancing themselves from their partner or partner. It should be noted that fantasize all. Because everyone has their own inner world. And he always richer than the outer. Much less fantasy and reality are on the same level.




Man enough of this fantasy excitation for erection. And in order to reach ejaculation, no. The woman loudly wheezing, it smells not as it seemed, trying to help him, and actually prevents... She invades his loneliness, in his imagination.




Now, the man became engrossed in their fantasies and within three hours without a break moves, rubbing it all says: "can't finish". And she cries and says, "I'm such a bad woman, I can't". Actually she is innocent. He has such fantasies, outside which nothing can be done.




Such sexual loneliness is the absence of interaction. Here we went to bed, I do something, it does something, we do something, but we together get worse than it could be. I feel that I'm alone, I'm a major role in this Opera, but I no one is screaming. Well, the hell with it, with my partner, I now think about Marilyn Monroe, and I will succeed.




Easier to strangle




If you are determined to solve problems together.




First, you need to see this problem and understand it. Secondly, be prepared for the fact that the decision is not always painless.




Thirdly, learn to discuss with each other your sexual problems. And not to blame their problems on the partner. The phrase "don't excite" is not a solution. Man goes into a defensive perimeter, and the difficulties grow like a snowball.




But after a joint discussion, too, there is one obstacle. When people do not want to have sex. It creates the impression that the pair have developed a diplomatic agreement or technical conditions. This is a very difficult time. Because as soon as sex goes soul and comes to technique, the sex ends.





Who extra


The woman proudly says, "My partner may not finish 20 minutes! " And what's with his point of view 20 minutes, it does not think. While he will come up with than to work yourself up until you get the feel of this picture, passes some time, and his partner has no relation to what is happening.





But was it the sex?


The distance from each other begins when one person looks at another and think, "Not my field berry. I remember a young and beautiful, in a nice dress, heels, and you walk in robe". This discrepancy between the desired and the actual image. They say that a man, when to get married, thinking that his fiancee will never change. And the woman thinks the opposite - that her fiance will change. And both are wrong. When this mismatch is recognized and it is attached such great importance, that people diverge and become lonely, even being in a couple, even in seemingly wonderful relationship. How would abstract as it may sound - that was not of this isolation, loneliness, we must be able to change along with life and with partner. To understand what that girl that I was attracted to in 20 years, after 15 years of marriage has changed, especially in sizes. To this no one can be ready, because it does not know what to prepare. But you have to accept it and understand that "I am also not the cucumber that was 15 years ago".




I think you know at least one couple in which he and she the last 20 years in any way, except "Hey, you! "each other, not speaking. Fighting, drinking, divorce every week three times and so on, And live together, although their seems to be nothing to lose. This can be explained by the fact that they have shared memories, which can't be with anyone else. It can be fleeting memories of how they together took pity on the dog 15 years ago. It's not even memories, it is flesh and blood. On a conscious level such people can be called lonely, on a subconscious - they are one. While sex may not be.

Author:

Prokopenko Yu


Source:

Our Psychology

women's web magazine