Remember the saying: "How do you ship call, so it will float?" Every word in the language has a certain load, not only semantic, but also emotional. And to learn how to use positive wording is the best way to self-realization! We all have a set of private beliefs and habits of thinking in a certain way. In this sense, we sort of "border guards", carefully guarding his personal territory from invasion. This is necessary, but, unfortunately, there are boundaries that prevent us to move forward and act effectively.
Probably everyone is familiar with the effect of self-programming, or, as it is also called, "the effect of self-fulfilling prophecy". Should say to yourself: "I can't do anything! " or "I'm too weak (sick, incompetent, and so on) to make it" as things started to really go downhill. And we exclaim: "I told you that nothing will come of it! " This situation is a vivid example of negative thinking in all its beauty and ruthlessness.
When a person is depressed, it is hard to find positive words, but just change the wording will help you find the right solution.
Think about what you say
Let's look at the common mistakes that are often made in speech (both within themselves and in communication). So...
Habit to generalize. It can be identified by the words "all", "always", "none", "never", and a noun with the utmost generalization: "people", "teacher", "the doctors". We often hear the statement: "no one understands me", "All men are the same".
If the woman has a small bust and too strong belief that all men like large Breasts, then is it any wonder that she can't build serious relationships, striving for?
If you are talking with someone who is negative generalization, for example: "You never do what you want! there is a need common to translate in private and to clarify what exactly "need" and when was the last episode when it was not done. Own habit to generalize discipline is a must. As soon as you come to mind the next generalization, it is necessary for yourself to be clarified and whether "no one likes" or is there at least a few such people you care about.
Incorrect verb.
Woman, mother hyperprolactinoma to her child, says: "I understand that this situation is wrong, but can not abandon him". While she was thinking in terms that it must "push" the beloved little son, the situation does not improve. Here is the output that it took a different internal wording: "should I allow him to be more independent".
Love the word "problem"
. Unfortunately, this word with a negative charge is very popular. "I have problems in family life" (husband yesterday from work was delayed), "I have problems with the dog" (don't know what coat to buy her).".
Listen, and it turns out that these people from the problems do not emerge: one thing after another, there is not too significant. Exit here to stop to call the problem what it is not. It is better to use this wording: "I Have a situation (in the family, at work), which requires my attention."
Hiding negative statements under positive. The most striking example of this is the common phrase in relation to a sick man: "get well soon, we need you healthy! " It would seem, a good phrase, but have you ever wondered how a negative charge it is? Want to ask a question: you need it for healthy and sick is not needed? Such phrases are eroding the relationship imperceptibly, like a malicious virus.
Faith in the impossible.
This phrase using the words "can't", "not possible", "no", "impossible". These words Express a certain framework in which people are accustomed to thinking of its possibilities and act. Often they are formed in childhood and install them to us significant people: parents, relatives, caregivers, teachers.
The young man believes that he will not be able to find a good job. This is his basic belief, which is difficult to change. He will find thousands of explanations why this is so: health, lack of experience, insufficient level of competence shyness. He used to think of myself as unsuccessful person, and found the way to be. But if he says he wants to change the situation, you need to begin to change the wording. Fritz Perls, the founder of gestalttherapie, offered the statement, "I can't" replace "I don't want" that will be a kind of provocation, but often puts everything in its place.
Transform!
To learn how to reformulate negative phrases, you need to be able to put them into question. It is much harder to part with what seems to be inviolable than what we doubt. In this case, we have already parted not only with the statement that we want to get rid of the situation of the doubt. So often ask yourself the question: "But is it really? "
But it is not enough to get rid of negative wording. We often say, "don't think about it", No need to think, "Forget this phrase". Remember the adage: "a Holy place is never empty"? When it comes to words, you can't just delete and forget. They can only be reformulated in a positive direction. Otherwise after some time still ineffective wording again in possession of the consciousness.
When you formulate the phrase again, avoid particles and prefixes "not", and words with potentially negative meaning. "The effect of self-fulfilling prophecy" can be a powerful resource! Use this effect, and as often as possible, especially if you have some test, program yourself for success, using the phrases: "I could do that", "I Have enough opportunities to do it", "I can take the experience from this situation".
Author:
Marina Yu
Source:
Woman.ru
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