In the morning the alarm clock rings, who do not want to hear. Because the following thought: "back to work! ".And there's the boss, boss, tall head, stern Director.
Cheerful and fresh, clean-shaven and determined to ruin your entire day nagging and stupid assignments. And all because he disliked you from the first day of return to work.
And beats pulsing vein at his temple persistent thought: "What to do?! ". To change which immediately comes second bailout: "we urgently Need to find a new job! ".
But no one can vouch that the new location will not be released from his Director of Cabinet government gait, the new head with the same hatred in the eyes...
So, before you look for a new job, try to think of this: each time you are ready to leave because of this? And what if to try to re-establish contact with the hated boss?! Without exception, all psychologists will tell you that it is quite possible. And it should-then nothing at all: five small steps.
Five steps to understanding
1. Removing the psychological barrier.
2. Finding shared interests.
3. The definition of the principles of communication.
4. Identify the qualities dangerous for communication.
5. Adaptation to partner and establish contact.
Let's look at them in more detail.
The first step
: you need to remove the tension in communication with the chef. To do this, select a neutral topic. Such, the discussion of which it is difficult to disagree with the arguments, both yours and his. Many concerts will cause the head of the long-term and sustainable satisfaction the actions of both its own and yours.
In the centre of the discussion must be something common, and that is especially important - not to be solved. Gradually the tension head will change to relaxation. Go away the anxiety and the time will come to start
the second step: to know the interests of each other.
Very good common hobby: fishing, knitting, Pets, children, holidays. In the process of negotiating the distance between you will be reduced. Shared experience and similar experience will provide an excellent basis for further communication. You will want to get closer and farther away. And then it's time to think about the principles of communication,
step three.
The main thing at this stage is to make the exchange of information relating to individual principles of communication and identify valuable quality partner. What is it? It is the sense of humor, responsiveness, punctuality, neatness, honesty, openness, thoughtfulness, seriousness, and so on.
Your task is to identify these individual signs by statements that, in your opinion, is a proof identical understanding of individual points. Say aloud what the other person wants to emphasize. This will satisfy the head and reduce the number of attempts to repeat what he had once expressed. Summarize expressed earlier and highlight the points of convergence in the views.
And finally, tell your boss about what you'd expect such behavior, address the issue and that this method of interaction. It's time to move
to step fourth.
The goal is to cause the head a feeling of complete security when disclosing their negative qualities: he must be sure that the obtained information will not be used harm him. How to cause it to be Frank? A personal example. "I say it's my fault and kind of selfishness. Vygovarivaya himself and others suffer". "In conversation I often have to control my temper". "I sometimes get carried away, go deep into details, remind me about it".
Demonstrating his willingness to talk about myself, to be honest, you hereby encourage the partner to Express their opinion about the properties and qualities of other people, and thereby reveal his attitude toward negative qualities.
In the end, you will have a very clearly defined habits, which can be noise in the communication (distraction, casual listening, interrupted, and so on). In the future this knowledge will help you avoid situations in which these qualities can be manifested.
Step five and last: the long-awaited contact. This process, once begun, is stretched over the entire period of your further work in this organization.
Because of the aforementioned actions you now know how to maintain relationships at an optimal level. Able to mitigate the adverse reaction to a specific stimulus. Understand not only the quality of the head, but also the motives and reasons for his actions. You know how to avoid another conflict. And the head easily goes with you to the contact because he feels comfort, security, confidence.
But your personal dislike to him, as to a certain type of person, perhaps, to forget for the sake of sanity, no problems and the opportunity to work in your favorite team and adored fact. So, maybe let's start with yourself?..
Author:
Chapter O.
Source:
Le-Mon
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