Listen carefully

A few days ago, I called an old friend and offered to meet at some cafe and have a chat. I was very pleased with his call, so he agreed without much hesitation. Still, we long time no see, and I was very interested to see how he lives and what has changed in recent years.


We met at the agreed time in a quiet little cafe, sat at a table in the corner and made a small order. After pleasantries and a short introductory conversation my friend immediately launched into a long narrative about the problems at work, and how these problems interfere with his professional career and personal life.




I silently listened to his monologue, occasionally nodding and making fun. But in General, I realized that this issue is of great concern to my friend and pulls him down. When a friend was speaking, he took a deep breath, looked at me and asked, "What do you think about this? ".




As I understood from his words, my friend has already seen solutions to problems, and he needed the support and approval. Now it was my turn to speak, and I confirmed that it should stick to the decisions taken.




At this point I wondered how I a good listener? As it is really to listen to the monologue of a person for an exciting theme and not to miss anything? I do not deny the fact that sometimes I'm impatient, and do everything possible in order to listen carefully to the speaker without interrupting him and not being distracted by other things. I highlighted a few things that, I believe, a very important consideration for full perception of the speaker.

1. First of all, it is very important the place where the conversation/monologue. For example, someone may not like the public, sometimes loud institutions, places of accumulation of a large number of people. Someone does not feel comfortable in confined spaces. Here the main role listening plays a feeling of comfort and a minimum number of stimuli.


2. Exciting or disturbing thoughts, personal reflections can interfere with the process of perception. If this factor is, people with probability 100% distracted by personal issues, thereby losing the thread of reasoning of the speaker. The necessary concentration.


3. There is the claim that actions sometimes speak louder than words. Behavior and gestures speaking person, as far as the listener is open to hearing. Tilt slightly forward shows your interest, regular eye contact, sincerity, smile - easy ease. Conversely, crossed his arms mean that the listener is closed from the speaker.


4. It is useful to maintain a monologue appropriate action, such as a nod, easy problems "And what happened next? ""And what did he say? ". When the speaker sees the sincere interest he more freely presents information.

Most importantly, just listening, not interrupting, not distracting, without changing themes. People need to speak out, to share exciting information. At the end of the speech he wants to hear advice or to get approval. But it can be done, if only to hear the speaker to the end and understand what he is concerned about.

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