To Wake up alone after the first night of love is not always easy. In the soul of confusion and curiosity, surprise and uneasiness in the mind packs together the variety of implicit questions exciting or frightening thoughts... According to sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufmann, it is first spent together morning starts clearer to draw the continuation only that the ensuing history of the two. What is the "moment of truth" first in the morning?
Jean-Claude Kaufmann: When the emotional outbursts subsided and the excitement died down, we begin to discover the other person to know him: beyond the hype and pretense. This is a very opportune moment to look around and paint a clearer picture of the situation. At this time, one part of the person experiencing the event happened, not really asking questions, but the other says and lays in the memory of all the details that will prove decisive for the continuation of the history of. Who will fall first? Decide whether we stand naked out of bed? What will we say? An awkward pause filled with banal words or kisses... All our five senses alert. Mind scans and weighs and not very pleasant surprises: "It pleases me, and this is no. I'm used to a full Breakfast, and he's on the move swallows of coffee", "I like the simplicity and naturalness, and its bathroom is jam Packed full of all sorts of cosmetics..." Sometimes, linen partner who yesterday was so worried about how he looks, is not too fresh.
But isn't it more than the morning, telling us about each other the first night spent together? After all, if it will be bad, first in the morning will not be at all!
Of course! But the evening as a rule, runs like a dream: in anticipation of the upcoming we try to meet your partner, I want to be tall to be open, ready to accept his features.... A new identity when we relate with the other person, his habits, rhythms, with details of his everyday life... Compatible if all of this with our "I"? Of course, an upbeat, festive atmosphere that night does not give chances to find the answer to this question.
You say that one of the most delicate tests is going to the toilet. Why are we so ashamed of this?
Upon awakening taking modesty. Only that the partners felt infinitely close, when to hide from each other there was nothing, and suddenly, in one moment look at himself does not hold, causing the wish to be alone. We return to the reality of his body with all it needs. At that moment, our "I" sharply away from partner, we clearly feel the limits of their intimate space. It's much easier to go to the toilet, if the partner is still asleep. But if you both have woken up, have to elect their tactics to resort to tricks and gimmicks to get out of the difficulty. Sometimes it turns into a real test. Some choose the most radical option is to endure and to procrastinate!
The decision to continue a relationship with this particular partner we accept it in the first morning?
This is really a very important point, which largely determines the fate of the pair. But we have decided this morning only one thing: whether we call that person again or not. However, it does not define how it will develop our relations in the future. Today, increasingly, the emergence of new relations is perceived as a threat to personal independence, so when people, as soon as, immediately understand that "it is fate", belong to the category of very rare. If the first morning was unpleasant for us, does this mean that a new relationship made a disappointing verdict? Delightful first morning - case is rather exceptional. As a rule, we covered the anxiety in my head the crowd of anxious thoughts, we are afraid not to please our partner, fear of its evaluations and even revelations.
Often we desire simply to escape. However, it sometimes happens that the story, the beginning of which we are not inspired (partner acted like a selfish, was valuatum in bed or slightly sloppy), in spite of everything turning into love. One example is the story of a girl who was in bed with new friends just for the sake of the affair that was about than to chat with a girlfriend. However, this "compensating reception turned into a real love story and they are already three years living together. Love is not entirely determined by a fateful meeting; it is created in the present and facing the future. Every day brings us new discoveries and surprises. A little love today may be the greatest love tomorrow. On the other hand, if in the first morning you feel in the air hung irritation, for you it should be a signal for an immediate retreat! If you give to capture this feeling all the space to overcome it will be impossible.
About this
Jean-Claude Kaufmann "the First morning. How does a love story"
A sociological study focused on the important moment in the couple relation - the morning after the first night of love - and based on a sincere and accurate evidence of the interviewed people. The book gives the key to understanding different situations and actions, focusing on the goals and intentions behind them.
Source:
Women's information and entertainment portal WDay.ru
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