The last time my friends are divided into two camps: those who were married and those who only dream to create a family. First discreetly speak about your life or not talk about it at all. When there are gusts of revelation, you know that family life was not El Dorado, sometimes it is boring, hard, bitter, and they longingly remember the happy carefree time before marriage.
Spiritual abyss
I was amazed by the story acquaintance of Vladimir Nabokov with his future wife: Faith led him on a walk through the city at night. She was in the mask with a wolf's profile by heart his poetry. Thank Nabokov wrote the poem "Meeting" on a romantic walk. Faith was not only a faithful wife Nabokov, and critic, Secretary, translator, student, literary agent, editor, and despite the fact that crises and betrayal happened in their relationship, without Faith he could not write and live. Of course, such a fateful meeting - a rarity. I dream about such a Union. But reality sometimes looks very different.
As often happens, the choice of a partner for life?
Olga, 29 years: it's time for Me to have a baby, Petya like I love sex learn, but his apartment in Central Moscow, he earns a lot. Then the age is running out. To choose not from anyone.
Natasha, 30 years: Serge likes me a lot, does not smoke, does not drink, he does his own thing. I was with him interesting to talk to. Passion there was a month, and then it was over. All in doubt.
Gregory, 28 years: Lived year with Ira. It was nice, then she made me get bored, and then she became pregnant. Parents have to strain, so I thought it's time to settle down, and Ira well cared for me. We have common interests - we like to ride bikes and roller skates.
Elena, 30 years: I want a baby - can't do any thinking. Now meeting a suitable man - face from him. I am even ready to give birth to itself.
Igor, 27 years: Marina drove me crazy, it has no equal in bed. We sometimes nothing happens to talk, but every night she is with me.
Such stories abound. If you pass the age of 25, many do not expect a strong love and a deeper feeling, choose a partner on the principle vehicle: someone brand, someone-to well-traveled.
Recently began to remember, when someone read poetry? Under the moon? It was a long time ago.
Today Dating man talks about how much he earns, or complains that does not earn as much as people from the coveted Forbes. Common topics for discussion a little: books no one reads, policy no one is discussing. A big plus if your partner out of your professional sphere, there is a common theme!
Our parents argued heatedly about what is happening in the world, in smoke-filled kitchens. Today's generation of 30-year-old is not interesting, the most important questions - where do you work, how much you earn, what car, where I went to relax.
Future "partners" rarely try to enter in relations to another depth. Spiritual closeness very few people care about, there's some vague need to create a family and children.
After the General is not detected, and views on life combine not much, man and woman are trying to fill this void delights of sex. That is why many unions doomed to failure: the pair stuck on the common life, the desire to get rich, build a career. Sex gets boring. And there is emptiness. Some six months later, others 2-3 years.
Two sheep on the bridge
But even if you found someone with whom I can spend hours talking heart to heart, with time or immediately come to another question. Compatible if we have sex? If you already have a certain sexual experience, not so easy to be deceived and not notice that the other person the sex was amazing, and with a new fan of any of these emotions no.
There are things through which is impossible to cross: for example, you don't like the smell of a partner. It should not close his eyes. The smell translates to human health, and your subconscious is trying to you "cry": we don't need it, doesn't fit, pass by, looking on. And in General, how your partner likes you as a person?
Or you meet a man who is completely opposite tastes in sex: he prefers anal sex, or oral sex for him is more important than genital. Here is the show - maybe the person wants to impress you, having read themed books and magazines? Maybe it is your relationship - just a sexual experiment. Whether he is ready to do what you like? Or he dictates his own biases?
Or you meet a man you like it, you wonder with him, but after sex (even eager) emptiness in my soul or crept disgust. Perhaps it crushed our intuition that feels ahead. It is worth considering why from a person blows cold, despite his kind words.
Also notice how often your partner wants to have sex? This sounds right for you? Requirements rarely change. Pay attention to the biorhythms - are you ready to adapt to your partner? He likes sex only early in the morning, and you are a night owl. Will you be able to adjust for a loved one? Because if not you, then someone else.
Love and couple relationship is a hard work. One to blame for the quarrel of the two does not happen. However, the husband is the head, the wife is the neck. Today is the conventional division of women "wives" and "mistresses". "Mistress" is ready on everything to get a man: constantly evolving, take care of themselves, experimenting in sex, learn massage, meditation, Tantra. "Wife" is mired in the home, the husband by many tired, they don't want nothing for him to do, it seems that this part of life unexplored. But when you start to open their situation, you change, you come to the tone. Life becomes brighter and your partner happier with you!
If two sheep could hear each other and go on the bridge, the pair would find the strength to be together for many years, walking through the night the quays of Paris, reading each other's poems about love!
Inadequate motives for creating marriage
The way to separate from parent families. The desire of young spouses to distance themselves from their parents is one of the most frequent inadequate reasons for marriage.
The means to overcome any crisis: the creation of a family of revenge against a former lover, as an attempt to cope with the loss of a loved one, the opportunity to experience professional incompetence, etc.
Compliance with the norms of society to avoid the pressures of society.
Marriage as an achievement, when one partner receives the material or social benefits.
Forced marriage, such as accidental pregnancy.
Author:
Shuster E.
Source:
Our psychology
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