Also it is not necessary here to smear the child or blowing on the wound (exceptions, like arterial bleeding, clear), strongly lull, poke him toys or sweets. Not to enter into any new situation of the entity under a temper tantrum. Again, to relieve the brain of the child, to give him cope, to handle all.
That helps at any age
1. Smooth, strong, soft arms, they freeze, just moving away from the scene of the problem, looking away. The metaphor of the "mother-blanket". Soft, warm, reliable, native. Wrap the child in himself, as in a blanket. "Hard" because, my mother often from the nerves of the hands eagerly, and if you keep not strong tremors felt.
2. Adjust your breathing. Smooth, deep, regular breaths. Note how much breath in such situations slips; as the regulation of breathing helps to calm down, and most importantly, how the child synchronizes with time your breathing with my mother, too, calming down.
3. You can slightly shaken baby breathing in rhythm, slightly stroking on the back synchronously. Gently, slowly, in the background, so as not to distract from the important work, which occupied the child to handle the accident.
You can still humming, singing songs without words, a motive or something. It's like breathing exercises. Again, they should be "background", not to switch attention to themselves. But it is very help breathing to adjust.
4. To monitor the child's breathing. When it becomes smooth, and tears will go - turn "to the forest, to the scene in front of". To see where the trouble happened.
5. And to tell the story of the incident, "the tale of the accident". For example: "You fled here to the hill, and before it was ice, the left leg has gone back and you fell and hit chin". Monitor the child's breathing. On dangerous place when history will come to "fell" - it will most likely become more frequent. The child is even able to cry again. He lives event. The story can be told many times. Without judgment (inadvertently, hurt, nothing) - just the facts, just as it was.
Additionally, for older children (to some extent verbal)
5A. The children themselves often tell several times all your family members and acquaintances, processing. Eventually, the child will come to what will be a story to tell or listen to even breath. This means that the stress is removed.
6. When a child is reconciled with the location and history of the incident, and only then, not before, you can make a "debriefing". Well to start with a question like "what do you think should have been done? " It has already changed the "tale of the accident", to come up with a new one. Let me stress that this phase is coming to emotionally cope, having calmed down. Never has the sense to say "don't do that" or "where have you looked! "until the baby cries. Close your mouth and keep it closed, and breathe deeply and smoothly through the nose. And when the child calms down, he himself will tell you where the errors were and how to fix them.
This process takes from hours to seconds; older children do it inside and independently. To say "arm" crying child (even regret) and/or not to return to the scene of the accident, is fraught with psychological problems.
In this method, the child learns self-control, learn to develop their own methods of analysis and solutions of problems. Adult helps, but the background does not intercept the management and control, and only gives emotional support. Meanwhile, with the help of this support, the child copes with the pain itself, thinks the situation itself, the outputs are looking for himself. Child - Manager situation, boss, adult support staff.
Perhaps the child will quickly calm down, if the adult is in a calm voice to explain that everything is in order. But this short-term result. Not the child has calmed down and the adult calmed the child. Lesson for the future: "don't trust Me, I'm too young to decide not me."
In addition, the child may and stopped crying, but cleared if the stress? Or just driven inside (especially if distracted)? The accumulation of stress can cause many problems, and psychological, and diseases (heart, for example) in the future.
And the statement "this is not scary, it's not a strong wound" from the intact bother me quite a bit. Why such things need to report? The child should, in my opinion, to have a chance to make this judgment about the seriousness of the situation. Sometimes the situation subjectively seems serious, and this judgment should just be respected. Want to teach your child to assess the situation on strucnosti" and to learn to understand its seriousness.
One or the second approach to each given situation is a matter of choice. In situation of major accidents, especially if you need to act quickly to escape from the explosion, to do operations, wear a gas mask) - I think an adult should take control for the sake of speed. But if tripped or a toy was taken away - it is better to give the child to cope.
We need to be careful to find his balance. So, firstly, does not catch on the situation and the child, and to leave the child the opportunity to govern themselves. Secondly, not to dictate from outside judgments about the situation, and to give the child the opportunity to make their judgments. But, at the same time, to support the child.
Author:
Droujkova M
Source:
Till
No comments:
Post a Comment