The school aims to sow "reasonable, good and eternal, but together with the knowledge of modern system of education gives children and completely unnecessary and a burden they have to bear. It is from the school of stretch those inferiority complexes, from which man suffers, and which do not allow him to move up the career ladder, to become successful in the profession and personal life. What are these systems and why they arise - let's face it.Complex passive observer
Many of you probably heard from teachers ' comments about their child. "Peter smart and capable boy, but the lessons as if missing, not working, inattentive". Mom is trying to influence the child, talking to him, convinces us that we need to learn and listen to the teacher, even accuses him of laziness. But not too lazy to blame, and what psychologists call the complex passive observer.
What makes this complex? Let's face it. Most parents are trying to develop your child, buy him encyclopedias, lead to museums and theaters, visit with him lectures and concerts, actively preparing for school. They want their child come to school prepared and many knowledgeable. In the end, this is happening. First-grader comes to class and expects that he will be even more interesting that every day will bring more discoveries, and it turns out the opposite. Here begins the lesson of letters. The teacher explains to the children the letters and words, because it has to start with the Alphabet, even if half of the class already knows how to write. It is interesting that Peter? Of course not! And he looks out the window, at the sides, trying to talk to a neighbor's party, spinning.
Next lesson "Surrounding world" gives the boy hope. But there Marya Ivanovna explains the long-known truth: what is the difference between conifers from hardwood. Peter gladly sits down to do homework, but to paint a different color leaves him, too boring, because at the art Studio he already draws from nature to entire landscapes. And all that gives the teacher much faster and in a more interesting way you can learn from magazines, TV or the parents. So the baby receives the complex passive observer, he is sure that the lessons he will be interested.
A lot not only well-trained first-graders and capable children. The school itself programme is not on the creative process of learning and passive learning. If the teacher is not proactive and does not try to present the material interesting, that is, to stir up the students, make them think, from the complex passive observer no one is immune. So we see in most schools the following scene: the guys are looking forward to change, hastily throwing in portfolio books and notebooks, with the noisy hubbub ran out of the class. It is not easy fatigue, and fatigue due to the lack of interest in activities. To awaken, you need to look for another school, which encouraged originality and creativity. And it is very hard to do.
Complex passive observer dangerous because the child gets used to that attitude. He and the Institute will also passively to lectures. And then in the workplace. Its main task is to serve educational or employment "conscription".
Complex loser
This is another problem, which also begins at school. Basically it concerns children, it is difficult getting used to the new team, as a rule, those who did not go to kindergarten and had no opportunity to communicate with children in the yard, that is too sheltered children. It is difficult for them to fit in with the new school life with its own rules and laws. So they are very wary perceive everything that happens at school. While other children already Boyko communicate among themselves, pulling their hands on lessons and not afraid to ask the teacher questions, uncommunicative child still watching, he timidly responds to the lessons, afraid to Express their thoughts, doubts own answers and more silent. He understands that stands out from the team, but more than difficult it is to become sociable and "his" in the class. The child does not feel like everyone else, even more embarrassed, and if it finds no contact with teachers, if not in danger of ending on the last starring. So in his mind there position: "I am the worst of all", "I don't know how, can't", "I never will".
The child withdraws into himself, seeking solitude, and really wants to make friends with the guys and just as they are fun to run around at recess. But he has a feeling that with him no one wants to be friends, so he never goes to peremenke, and pretends to have not completed the job, collect the briefcase, and he thinks: "Sooner would the bell rang for class". His own Desk during class becomes for him the safest area. This is the lame-duck syndrome, which, if the child is not in time to help, will be fixed for life.
Complexes "Twoness" and "high achiever"
At school the main measure of human virtues are, as is known, evaluation. In some schools, this criterion becomes categorical in nature: if you are excellent good, and receive grades - so bad. As an elementary school teacher has on children is enormous, almost hypnotic, and evaluation as the main indicator of virtue, make disciples in the eyes of the other guys "bad" or "good".
Labels that are hanging in school, pursue a person's life, making it unbearable. Moreover, the "excellence" sometimes pays for their school success higher price than the "losers". "Twoness" understands that it is useless to try, still above this level him not to rise, and continues to live by inertia without much effort. "Excellent" was used to always be at a high level, struggling to keep the bar high. From childhood he was denied the right even in something to be worse than others, but public evaluation is far from evaluations of teachers, and when such "excellence" will grow, he will certainly be faced with a situation where he is not, and the other becomes the best. For "high achiever" it will be a heavy stress. Seeking for knowledge, and to become the best, he will tear his last strength, but still it will be hard to resist at this level, because most of life is not a class.
"Twoness" and "excellent" hostages school assessments that life will depend on the opinion of others. But the "Threeness" is free from this dependence, so they are deprived of any complexes. They define their interests, they are nothing crushes. It is the "Threeness" very often achieve great results in life.
Of course, do not let the child's learning to chance and a close eye on his progress. The point is that the evaluation did not become the main criterion for a good relationship to your child.
Complex inadmissibility own mistakes
Getting a good grade, your child hears praise from teachers and from my mother, and if you bring three or two, then not expect any mercy - either from parents or from teachers. Therefore, the student tremblingly awaiting trial, when the teacher reads the results of a test operation, or with fear looks at the notebook, fearing that made mistakes for which he will put "three". So he begins to fear not only poor grades, but also their mistakes. And in order to avoid them, chooses the easiest path. On a test is an additional task for intelligence - it is better not to do so as not to risk assessment. The house is set a difficult task - it is better to look at the "excellent" than to try, he certainly without errors will solve. So the child gets used to avoid new ways, not to trust their own thoughts, to get away from difficulties.
So in school, the child acquires the complex inadmissibility own mistakes, which will.to interfere with his life. People with this complex is afraid to make a wrong move, show your knowledge, "hang out", remaining at the lowest plank of their capabilities.
Complex "white crows"
This complex appears to adolescents 12-16 years. At this age, they are characterized by the dependence of the collective. They must be similar, so as not to stand out from the crowd with clothes, games, etc. If most of the guys in the class there is an abrupt mobile phones, your son will really suffer because of the fact that his phone is not the same brand. Teenagers are very sensitive about their personality. They think that they underestimate, they find fault, so every comment or unfair from their point of view, it gives them a storm of protest. Adolescents suspect that the world is imperfect and always want to see this, seeing the injustice in everything, and others attributed to non-existent attention to his person.
The dependence on the opinions of peers is a very dangerous feature of adolescence. Because not all children have good human qualities. So it all depends on the team, which turned out to be a teenager. If in class, your child's, children have the opportunity on every vacation to fly abroad, to the school of their ride on the "Mercedes", and the computer at home - the last model, while you can't ensure that your child this "gentleman's set", then he will be considered a "black sheep". The question "why am I not such as all" will become for him a source of formation of complexes of inferiority. As a result, he will be afraid to appear in his team "not as" clothing, "not with such" cell phone. Stress that the teenager will receive as a result of its noncompliance adopted in its environment standards, will manifest itself in different forms - from isolation to aggression.
The best way is to create the teenager atmosphere in which he felt adequately. Try to change the school, encourage your child to enroll in a sport or another section, where are favored clothing and accessories, and appreciated the qualities that have your son or daughter, for example, agility, courage, ability to draw, knit, knowledge of literature, history, Informatics etc.
Thus, the complexes that children pass from school, and often remain with them for life. And it is very difficult to fight, because to change the social circle we are often unable - school education system is almost the same everywhere. But do not despair, it can parents make a difference. If you see your child suffers at school, move it to another, but be more reverent in choosing a school, and the teacher, if a son or daughter studying in primary classes.
Do not always require such drastic measures, because the problem may be in the baby, in its originality. Then maybe home training or external training. In some cities there are even special schools-externaly. Before choosing a training system, you need to understand your child: what was the source of nervous tension.
There is another way to get rid of complexes, which confront the child in school. You just need to "dilute" his school society activities in other sections and circles. Getting into different groups, the child will feel needed and interesting people. Feeling the child's interest in activities that other teachers and coaches will surely see the good that is not considered a teacher, and this again will raise his self-esteem. Comfortable atmosphere of creativity and sport will offset the negative impact of school, and complexes will not take root in the soul of the child.
Source:
Till
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