How often do we hear stories about that on the eve of the wedding, our mothers, grandmothers and girlfriends why not just change your mind about your choice and the future life. One, when everything is ready, begin to question: "do I love him really? ""And does he love me? ". Others are ready to quit, but would not part with his carefree and free life. Third cry all the pre-wedding night away and feel sorry for yourself beloved on all fronts.What do you do when going to approach our own wedding? Such conditions and we do not pass? And if they already have, what does it mean, where they came from and whether it is necessary to deal with them?
Of course, such thoughts and feelings are not at all. Some people, on the contrary, life is full of euphoria in my head only the most fabulous thoughts, and reigns in the soul's infinite love and confidence in yourself and your partner. Well, if we are still going to happen? Or have we already puzzled by the truth of his happy choice before the wedding? Where these doubts come from, and what to do with them? Let's try to sort through.
Your doubts
1. Doubt in yourself: do I love it, really? will I be able to take on the role of a wife? and I would like for me to be a wife, mistress, mother?
2. Doubts partner: but does he love me? and is it reliable all the same person? and whether consciously, like me, is he on this step?
3. Doubts choice and whether I wanted for myself? and whether or not to make such a choice for life? and suddenly I can wait another happiness?
4. Doubt in time and not hurry, do we? perhaps we test our relationship? while not getting married, it seems that you are so young and a whole life ahead, I may lose any chance?
In such conditions it is not surprising: it has a simple psychological mechanism. All of this, one way or another, can experience almost every girl before such an important event, like a wedding.
Explains these thoughts and States of the fact that since childhood girls dream about happy family, a good groom, wonderful children and beautiful-pretrazivac the wedding. In their heads constantly hovers a certain ideal of how things should be and what should be the chosen one. In fact, the wedding is the most important event in a girl's life. How many watched movies, how many read books, many photos and outfits are studied, starting from the very early childhood. How many dreams, how many fantasies vital in our heads.
And just imagine finally this event occurs. But this time we have accumulated a huge amount of thoughts, conscious and unconscious, about what it should be - our wedding. Was peredumali a lot of details, we mapped all possible male qualities and characteristics, note taken someone else's negative and positive experience.
Of course, now, on the eve of this momentous event, a hundred times a day come doubts: is this it? and is this the man? is it worth it? Ideals in my head a lot, but life is life, each person is unique, with its own advantages and disadvantages. And these shortcomings, which in one way or another number in any case present in our chosen one, begin to sorbet in mind and do not give rest.
So how to deal with this condition? How to offset that?
Your actions
1. Once again do not think, and just get ready. Best of all the free time to devote to preparation for the upcoming celebration and fully immerse yourself in it. If everything is already more or less ready, get her a Solarium, fitness, rehearsal speeches and confessions. The main thing in this case - do not leave time for dark thoughts.
2. If you have decided about the wedding with joy, if you knew and felt that your man is the one with whom you want to create a family, if you follow this step consciously and with a sense of happiness, and now try to cast anxious thoughts and think positive.
3. Focus on the good qualities of your partner, do not cultivate and not exaggerate its flaws. Remember only the happy moments of your life together, only his best and most romantic things.
4. Do not be afraid of family life as the "beginning of the end". This next phase of your life, sooner or later marry, all create a family unions, and their life does not end. The situations are different: both good and bad; and families break up, and together again, and there are frustrations, and get new appointments. But life is movement, it is now, so don't make the future more than you need, do not think about bad. And don't need a lifetime to wait for a nonexistent ideal choice to suffer. If you once found loved, needed, important people and made a decision about marriage, love, live, act, work on relationships - and succeed!
Author:
Pugachev M., psychologist
Source:
MyJane
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