Flirt and gallantryAt the meeting with the new head of sales Department Tanya was somewhat discouraged. The guy was always staring at her and openly flirted.
In Tannins plans did not include an office romance, and so she, pretending not to notice hints of a young man, began to keep a more professional and formal. Soon the guy stopped his tricks and finally started a business call.
After some time the girl learned that the newly minted head of such a simple way achieve success in business. Using female weakness, with the help of his victims he had received the desired information, supporters, manipulated others and masterly in their career.
Flirting is a very effective weapon. He seduces, flattered, annoyed and offended. Many men, seeing that at present negotiations woman immediately starts to flirt with her, trying to get any of the privileges or be a distraction.
Women do exactly the same. Flirt configures a person on a positive wave, because it increases self-esteem and discharges the atmosphere. That's why flirting is one of the most effective manipulations.
What to do?
Ignore. Best not to pay attention to the flirting, and continue to behave emphasized professional, formally and politely. This does not mean you have to become surly and boring, just do not give in to provocations and not flirt.
If you start to flirt themselves, hoping thus to relax the interviewee, you may get a reputation for frivolous, thoughtless, unprofessional. Perhaps you (as a woman) and will be interested, but your professional status will be significantly affected.
Aloides without flirting, you will show your opponents that you cannot be manipulated, what spell do not work. If you believe in yourself, you do not need to confirm the attractiveness of each observed person.
And in the negotiations with the main goal should be the achievement of a result, instead of purchasing a new fan. If people are really interested in you, he will find an opportunity to socialize outside of work.
Change of status. If a man shows exaggeratedly gallant manners, to bring you out of balance, feeling no response, he will stop. However, if you think that this behavior puts you at a disadvantage to other people, you will have to answer.
"Thank you kind gentleman", you Express gratitude, at the same time putting a man in an awkward position, showing that the worship put you right, and he only performs the duties of a servant.
Direct the conversation. If a man discredits you and your flirting, then ask him directly about intentions: "not if you met me to care? "
If he denies attempts to seduce you, but continues to flirt, its behavior will look stupid. If not, then you will get the right opportunity to tell him that he is not interested.
Between flirting-manipulation and innocent desire to love there's a thin line. Watch how a man behaves with other people, especially women, it will help to distinguish the manipulator from the lover.
Offer assistance
Colleague Ani was nice and pleasant person, always ready to help. Especially in the presence of the chief. Once Anya asked the boss to allow her to start a new project, which promised attractive prospects. The chef has with astonishment looked at the girl and said:
- How you can do this, because you are absolutely not in the subject! This is Sasha... if it is you to lead, then...
Needless to say that Sasha was the volunteer assistant.
It is difficult to reproach someone with hostility when he tries to help you. However, it is possible, and thus people may try to humiliate you, to downplay your achievements and qualifications. Also he can manipulate you to at the right moment to announce that the work he did, not you.
What to do?
To take. You can avail the offered support. However, before you accept, think about who it will be of real benefit. Support, if it is sincere, is always good.
Try not to dump onto a colleague his work, but simply specify the methods by which he advises to use. May he give the bait, and the fish you will catch.
Not to take. If assistance is offered in a condescending or hostile form, never take it. Never accept help from a competitor and detractors, as well as from poorly familiar person.
If you need help, make sure that it contains no double bottom. As in the first case, ask to be told what to do, and don't trust all your work to another person. Never allow strangers to your computer.
Trust yourself. Remember that men like to pretend that they know everything and know how, not really having the slightest idea of how to do the job. Do not blindly rely on the knowledge of men just because they are men.
It is likely that, digging in reference literature, you will quickly cope with the task. Trust yourself and your knowledge, make sure that he had done all he could, before seeking help from colleagues.
Game soft
Galya for two years he worked as the assistant Manager. The chief promised her a speedy increase as the level Gali long time corresponded to a higher position.
Despite this, as soon as it came to a serious conversation, he said with sadness about how needs help, and complained that it is very difficult to find such a good helper, Galya. Galya was sorry boss, and continued to work on it, thereby further pushing his career.
Some men rely on the weakness of women - her softness. The pain is contrary to the very nature of women, they are more giving, more compassionate and trusting.
A man may praise you, be polite and courteous, promising a speedy increase, while shamelessly to use your work, caring nothing for your promotion. He wants you continued to work as long as possible.
Many women are afraid to take the initiative, they work in the shadows and expect rewards for good work. Now, they will never get favors, because for advance recognition. Do not let you manipulated.
Men may complain, to cry out for compassion, not trying to increase your salary, explaining why he appointed to your position someone else. Portraying the anguish on her face, they can easily achieve their.
They are easy to manipulate women, portraying anger and irritation, because women don't like anyone to vex and try to avoid conflict.
What to do?
You must be firmly convinced that participate in an honest and fair game. If you have to retreat every time the opponent will start to press on pity or angry, you will never succeed. Don't let empathy and compassion to become a weapon directed against you.
Personal questions
Some questions do not pursue other purpose but to embarrass you or withdraw from a state of mental equilibrium.
How old are you? Are you married? How long have you been working in this field? And why don't you have children? Such inappropriate questions about age, personal life, children, etc. are at the point where the end of curiosity and begin the insults and humiliations.
Such questions may ask you not only men who want to overwhelm, but women competing with you and wishing thus to assert themselves.
What to do?
You should not answer such questions. The best way to evade the answers, in turn, quietly ask: "what attitude is your question? " or "Why do you ask me? " So you'd like to clarify the motives behind inappropriate questions.
Men who just wanted to you too, usually babble in response dubious explanation: "Well... I just wanted to know your age because you look so beautiful... "
If the goal is different, the answer you'll probably hear something more drastic: "You are too young to hold such a position! " or "Now I understand how you got here".
In this case it is not necessary to give pleasure to him and engage him in verbal sparring. Just thank him for his attention and interest in your modest person and continue to work quietly. Do so always, as soon as the undesirable behavior persists, and manipulation will quickly cease.
Source:
Female passion
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