More and more families are invited nurses to sit with your child from time to time, or leave with her children for five or six days a week. There is a strong opinion that finding a good babysitter is hard. And this despite the fact that specialized websites and in magazines full of practical advice on how to choose, how to build a relationship with her, as well as many stories of stars who came to the Agency N" and immediately got the wonder nanny.However, many still believe that finding a good babysitter is like winning the lottery. As lucky. One friend, a young mother came neighbor, another friend and child psychologist at the same time, and the third with children sitting distant relative from abroad. All three of these moms are not happy with their nannies, but talking about it, don't forget to knock on wood, so as not to jinx it. Next to these stories many others about how covert surveillance or recording hidden in a baby voice recorder revealed shocking parents facts: carelessness and brutality against children and all sorts of other jasnosti, to tell who the people in vain to frighten. After all, 't be scared don't be scared, and to invite the nanny still have.
Without the baby can't do
Maybe the task of finding nanny seems many such complicated because modern parents in our country belong to the generation that grew up without nannies. Who in the brave nursery-kindergarten tribe, and who in greenhouse conditions grandmothers and grandfathers. While today many, if funds allow, invite a nanny, instead of giving it to my grandmother, and especially in kindergarten. This formed a social trend.
Some grandparents do not sit with the children, because they work or actively engaged in self-realization: who is the second higher education receives, who is the second birth experiences, who ...dcity marriage.
Other grandmothers and happy, only they are not given, because in modern society not without the help of fellow psychologists gradually entrenched the idea that the grandmother in the upbringing of the younger generation, if not "absolute evil", then certainly an artifact. Sometimes, of course, and different, but the trend is clear.
Fortunately, after a divorce are the children. Only the chance to sit with them at least three years of statistics gives a little mothers. Young, single women who are in a hurry to return to work or to public and social life.
In the "old" family, children often nursed unmarried aunt, sister, or more distant relatives. However, the tendency of individual isolation, is rapidly gaining momentum, overlaps and this source. The tradition of maintaining relations between distant relatives gradually fades away, and the ones everyone is becoming less. Simply because families become less children.
However, the cities in which today's children are born, if you look at them as on the environment, objectively require a high level of control over the activity of the baby. Especially outside of the apartment or house, however, within them too. So most of those women deciding to have children without a nanny, most likely, will not do. And they start looking for a nanny or those who would help them to find it.
Babysitter as regruteska the problem
On a paid professional basis in recruiting nannies offer Agency specializing in recruitment of domestic staff including maids, gardeners, personal drivers.
In my practice, organizational consulting, I had double-face recruiting Agency for home. Then, after ten years of experience in personnel management, I made an unexpected discovery.
Selection Babysitting is one of the most difficult recruiting tasks. However, to evaluate the measure of this complexity, not working as a recruiter, it is not easy. The fact of a lack of understanding by clients of this fact exacerbates the situation. "The housekeeper I quickly picked up and the driver, with a nanny all Tinker can tell the client. - Probably just specialist nurses did not work". He knows that from the point of view of "production" - that is recruters complexity, but rather, emotional capacity, the diversity of vacancies of staff for the house should be divided into nannies and others.
Let's try to explain why. Recruitment for any job recruiter takes into account two components: professionalism and interpersonal compatibility of the employee and the employer.
Professional nanny to describe and verify the authenticity of not more difficult than qualified chefs. The main difficulty is to fit the child into the family. It's all in the interaction of two obvious factors, which somehow escaped from the field of attention of most people, once they begin to see others as staff or employers.
The first factor is the infinite variety of human personalities. This means, after coarse screening applicants for skills to prepare baby food and change the diapers, the recruiter must attend to subtle matters compatibility of human souls.
The second factor is the closeness of the relationship in which the nurse enters with the family. In my experience, it is often a little I think. And it is this proximity specifies the permissible boundaries of individual differences a possible candidate in nanny. For some families, they can be very narrow. The "ambush" may trap the recruiter in the most ordinary-looking order.
Such pranks as socionics and the signs of the zodiac do not pass. Practice inevitably shows that no tests can't replace intuition, which also is not "out of thin air" or a textbook, but is produced for years of life experience and recruiting practices.
Going for a babysitter in recruitment Agency person should keep in mind that the totality of action of the factor of individual differences between people does not shy away from the recruiters. Universal good not too often. Therefore, it is important to choose not only a decent Agency, but also to pay attention, how not formally polite, and human contact is with a specialist who immediately picks you nanny.
About love, jealousy and functional responsibilities
Last summer I rode from the Crimea by train. My neighbors in the compartment was a woman with a boy four years. The boy was misbehaving and refused the "right" food. Grandma was rubbing his nose along the way, he kissed, sometimes used to curse. The usual things. But there was something special between them. It is hard to say what it was manifested. Maybe how the boy from time to time he ran to the woman, put my head on her lap, and stood still for a moment, as she softly stroked his head...
"I'm his nanny, " she said, when we talked, had taken to the sea to relax. Lived with my family. My husband, adult children, their grandchildren yet. His mother was also with us, but her vacation short. With him I "babies", he already as a native. He is with me all day. Mom loves it, and the time with very few holds. If not me, so my grandmother gives. Nervous, though, and goes to the psychoanalyst. Yells at him. And to tell her anything. She and I begin to cry... And boy it misses. Father rarely it takes. He has another family, business... To school exactly it will bring".
My random fellow traveler this work nanny was the first. Prior to this she was a teacher in logopedic kindergarten. Mom boy was urgently looking for a nanny, when the child was seven months old, she had to go to work. Found a nanny through neighbors. Before that they were not familiar. The relationship is not legally formalized. And for the past three years the child is under the wing of the person she trusts so much that releases them together to the sea.
Hearing from me this story, Alexander Stepanova, psychologist "School for mothers and fathers", said: "My clients often share the problem of jealousy to the nannies. The child begins to miss her, enjoys her arrival much more than my mother's. Mom starts to get angry at the nurse, and she is offended at her. Further events can develop in different ways, but still so that no one brings joy by and large".
Jealous they see. Want the baby, especially a baby, spending whole days with someone who cares about him, plays, gives his love, treated him as attendants? He has not yet learned. Those who are particularly jealous, I want to remind you about Pushkin and his nanny Arina Rodionovna, celebrated in centuries. And then about his mother, about which we do not know. Only - that was it. Tough? Yes. So mums that are inviting to your kid nanny willing to share only responsibilities, but no - child attachment, I would advise to go to study at the school for parents. Maybe do to postpone the invitation Babysitting until such time as the child gets older, and to hire an AU pair to release more of his time to practice with him.
To be a nanny
I wonder how it is to work as a nanny? Who are the modern nanny? As people come into this profession?
The salary increase within the profession. This motif makes today to choose a wedding many teachers and child psychologists. Because the difference between the salary of a nanny and the nanny state child care in three or four times. It seriously. Moreover Babysitting with professional experience in great demand. We all know that not all professional teachers love children. Why they chose the profession of teachers? This is another topic.
Search social niches. For various reasons people come to the big city after his children, who came to study in the University, the men who came to work or simply looking for a better place in life. Many of them among the other employment options are ready to work as a nanny. If the potential sitter is a person of this category and is not your personal friend, it is a "box with a surprise". No, why is that necessarily bad. Maxim Satalino* lucky. Everyone can get lucky get lucky... or not.
Mission.
I have known one veterinarian. Now he was very fond of animals. And well they were treated, and people didn't like. And I know many people who loves computers or poems to write. Some like the order. But there are those among us who love children. They can be seen immediately. Sorry, not all choose to work Babysitting, but when you consider the prices they have. To be a nanny for them is as natural as to breathe and live.
It is a miracle when someone comes to your house and starts to grow and nurture, teach and protect your children better off than you are. And assumes the performance of many routine and difficult parental responsibilities, but does not take away your parental rights. Quite surprisingly, I believe that all those who are looking for a real nanny, you may get lucky and in the family it appears. Only for that deep down you want to call her and wait, and not just to do mechanical casting staff for the house.
*Maksim V. Shatalin - hero series "My fair nanny"
Author:
A. Alekhine
Source:
Our Psychology
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