Men for women, in General, as aliens from another planet. However, the aliens desirable and essential. On the women's forums there are a great many Trados where flatly and quite cynically ladies share their female sorrows in severe marital life. We present to you one of these topics, taken from one of the female forums.
My guy is full of flaws, but I still love him!
(The theme)
"Not enough sleep!!! The husband carries the heel on the sheet always when lies until you fall asleep soundly. So annoying, especially when you can't fall asleep to me, then he shuffles. Almost got used already. Like him very much, but sometimes savous. Especially tonight. The cry of the soul. What is Your husbands minor flaws that from time to time annoying? "
Answers:
• Pulling nipples, when I remove my bra. So tired, sometimes just explode, "as three hundred tons of TNT".
• My husband also suchit feet. In his sleep. Wake up, the sheet is lifted and rolled down to the level of the knees. Smart enough to pin her to the ends of the pins. He suchit that pins rasstegivayutsya. Then I apocope sheets with an elastic band, and manages to roll up. I do not swear, was used. In childhood, up to 12 years old sleeping on the couch with bugs, this poverty was his parents. Annoying, what if something opened the Cabinet for example) then stopudovo will not close. And stands open, and the husband does not see it.
• If food won't eat, he puts the dishes in the sink directly with the remains of food, when the dishes my - dig this:(
• And my fart in my presence...
• Twists the nipples like radio sets, it hurts! And thinks that if you put me cold hand between his legs and hit harder with your fingers - then I'll grab numerous orgasms.
• Constantly presses me up against the wall in the dream, I had no place to sleep!!!
• And my pisses on me in my sleep. "Golden rain" says :)
• My picks his nose, barely made it to do it while eating.
• And my eats everything got.
• My picks in a dream by finger in the ass.....I and. Here.
• Damn...... constantly also tries me a shove in the ass finger. I have too many flaws such. For example, when at home having dinner, I always throw under the table legs and all the way.
• And I did not fall asleep, if you do not put your hand, or rather fingers to me between your legs, so that her clitoris was concerned, angry can not directly((((((((!!!!!!!!!!!!
• And I loudly coquet in a dream as a horse in check, and for a long time so I already water was put there to stop this attack cocona, USELESS! Wake up and look like it with gusto starts to do it... and very angry!
• Closes the bathroom so that the nails cut, aesthete, and then in the bathroom lying about his stumps. And every time I try to find some pimples and SQUEEZE!!!! ))))
• All the time asking me to its possible impact backwards. Of my Boobs so I think that soon or will turn off or uproot it. Bites hurt. And if I was going to get hurt, breaking me to treat. Hurt. But love!
• Oh, and another first husband, once in cold fell asleep in the vest, sweater, sweat pants and under a pile of blankets, and I sleep naked, otherwise can't, shorter Wake - husband dressed down in a pile of blankets, like, damn Tajik railway station, or bum some.... the horror...
• My has a stupid habit of drinking fingers in my ribs as a washboard player crap. Night social the whole sheet down, even if I meter tuck under the mattress, by the morning it is at the level of the ankles is going, and I at the waist. Boobs too obgrizannie, this is as I understand it, they're all Amateurs. Sleep anxiety, Pozarevac. Well, the nails?? The nail is a classic of the genre, when he cuts, collects in a pile on the washing machine in the bathroom, then eject, but sometimes forgets.
• My constantly watch for when I just bow down, then jump back type will be attached and let the floor. an act to imitate. Feel zhivotnymi!
• Oh my God!!! THEY ARE THE SAME. Just bow down, here he is!
• And my hiding behind some door naked. Then she jumps out of there like a cat and shakes his dignity, type here I am in all its glory! Praise him, assess the dimensions are satisfied goes :)
• It seems we have a common man! bugaga all, Khan him in the evening b....n!
• And my all time wants to shove me into the vagina of his other foot.
• My Guzman throws things after work, playing with a dog on the marital bed, regularly falls asleep in a bath filled with (after work, go to bed, Wake up in three nights and the bed moves). But the worst thing - he's a lunatic! stands up to the toilet at night - doesn't turn off the lights and doesn't drain. Toilet seat does not lift ever. The car leaves open in the yard until you go to piss. In General, Tarina!!!!!
• Lord, ladies, how many animals in the world! Revered and it is easier for me, so not my one...
• Oh, girls... I Had cramps from laughter... All exactly, not even thought so everything is the same... And my bathroom when splashing, pouring sea water on the floor, so much so that every time I'm afraid the neighbors flood... And also for the chest enough and sentences while some cartoon voice: "Silicki my mA-a-a-a scarlet"... And the back is attached, when leaning... Ouch!!!
• My so I remember, I remember, will stretch affection "taiyaki" and the head of their bad on them, built up curdle(fellow 187/80) and is about two minutes, I start to choke and throw your head with "tiieicies" and he kind of offended calf "here all night so slept". Even in sleep twitching strong and it happens that saliva flow=))hahahahah rare
• And my naked in front of the mirror is 20 minutes and think me, it gets me and then asks what I've painted 3 minutes. Nose picks and unnoticed bugs somewhere behind the couch, and change and thinks that I don't know, asshole.
• Right now, will tell you how my husband in the morning after a shower fresh wears panties. Coming to the closet, opens it, takes out a whole stack of shorts, a few minutes iterates through them, muttering to himself, then takes the selected briefs and begins to stretch along, then across, then pulls them up to mid thighs and, holding with one hand, fist of the other hand, the rotational motion stretches where the farm is laid. Trelease.... the circus has left, and the clown in my house....
• And all my requests in the bathroom during a joint soul in my mouth to pee ( I'm not given, but the resistance, feel, will break. Already on his chest and face take... Actually, there is something stimulating his rudeness - feel like a victim of a sexual predator) And for him it's just a game, it starts, and I to some degree pleased to present him with a pleasant...
• My farts constantly, especially during sleep, just horrified, sometimes this gas chamber under a blanket satisfied, I have to get up and go somewhere to wait for some air. And he loves his underwear to pull as high as possible, almost to the chest and get these thongs, and he dances all the time in front of me so, it's cool actually, I laugh....
• And my, if I go, and I'm still in the kitchen, sit, go into the room, and then out of the corner of his dignity will put and waiting for my attention. Still loves me his face to put with the words "a few words about your work, the microphone type. When asleep, the blanket with me and pulls zamatyvaetsya it, and when I Wake up, his teeth chattering from the cold, to release the blanket, it's so tight in there wrapped in the cocoon.
• And in my sleep all the time touching his dick, smiling and drooling... The same is our five month old son))))))))))))))))))))
• As I said, once you are so harmful, quickly kiss pussy! And if you obey you will not will peel off you in the ass without lubrication. Scares. Learned to make poor eyes persuaded to give in the ass))) Know that I will regret this poor))))
• Ahhh... even in his dream is a 5 second shiver. Well as the epileptics - legs shaking hands and calms down immediately. I get scared. Sometimes - sleep and suddenly he Mat five-storey loudly so Priorat and sleeps on quietly. Again I get scared. Writing is very funny)))
• The girls and I began to simulate sexual intercourse... is he stooped down, and I jump back... and come on... gestures to make..)))And he is bending down and laughs, as the white horse....and sometimes standing dick will bare and looks askance when I find and make a surprised, delighted face, and like a wounded boar screaming goes to the bathroom...
• Iiiiiiiiii, can't, girls, ussales! And my loves insects in the morning to fold, and today yesterday, like a snowball, and at the end of the week shows how gathered during the week. And God forbid I throw these balls, offended.
• I have today all day, girls, gone))))We all Department of laugh out loud read, and two of our guy blush, they say we are fools and run to smoke... No, well, it's true life, thank you God! It should be issue - Oksana Robski nervously smokes!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, my every night counts the hairs on his chest - he was seventeen, all waiting for the eighteenth grow))))
• Yes, ladies....... So revered here that you write....... like with one hand and can't believe that these guys are and what you such suffering. But if it's all true - it is really ashamed of belonging to a strong half of mankind. The darkness simply. Jokes aside, the man, and especially in their own husband, it is necessary to raise the accuracy and respect for yourself (if his parents had not taught him the brain is not enough to behave humanly and not rotten).
• And my loves hand in his pants to shove and something there coroborate until the telly looks a hundred times the comment was made, to no avail, once my parents went to sleep and habit during sleep your hand in there stuffed at all and slept a peaceful )))
• Women, is that you deliberately so write to us, girls, marriage is not wanted? Me now, periasamy animal its innocence to give?!!!!!!!
• And my loves to stroke on his belly, and say: "Well, anything baby, just a little left. And when they ask, and the baby was a boy or a girl, he says: "men are only boys are born"
• Still remembered one habit of the husband. When he was on the phone talking and nervous or important conversation it turns out, squeezing his cock and closes her eyes or blinks. Interesting, but the work is also doing? But I pull up, and he stops.
• Speaking of fishy. My first husband was like, whatever bugs there or nails - never. Desika 3 times a day was powdered, so clean always walk in shower 2 times a day as you lie there, so I will not drive ))). Sometimes this chistoplast so irritated! But in the 2nd husband of this and not enough ((( Insects, the nails, the farts - koshmar! Don't please me))))
• My horseradish going to get in the shower and still does not like to shave. I figured out how to make: in the morning while he sleeps smear foam one cheek and shaved, he wakes up, but too late, is itself dobivaet.
• My husband is going through, when I wear a bra, asks that I not strongly squeezed Sisi, and then says that they can't breathe, what will be... Says that my breast for him, as the two batteries or the battery, charging it with energy. Runs when I change my clothes, and asks recharged. And I am happy and nothing bad I don't see it, love it much!
• My likes me "dance of the penis show, undresses, the music louder, and let's hips to twitch! Cool! And comes home in the evening and at first greeted with my pussy and then with me.
• About the torsion Boobs, socks, perestraivanie behind the tilt - all in one one. I want you to notice that her husband is not English, so they are all the same, EVERYWHERE!
• Think that all this is very normal family life, and from this I really just fun fishing. Very very love it, my most dear and close friend.
• Socks - this is the song!! Everything to do with socks, causes me the willies! From 15 years of married life 10 years every morning I heard: "Where are my socks??!! "though they were always in the same place! I began to change their location. For example, veiled their TV screen, which was included in the time of rising Carlson from the bed. Hang it on the mirror, which he was brushing his teeth. But after about 15-20 minutes, when he began to dress: "Where are my socks? " sounded again! And then I bought this cute plastic bowl with flowers, put 60 pairs of socks, handed blessed with the threat that if there is interest on the whereabouts of the above-mentioned objects, the basin will be broken about his dearly beloved head!!! Now I occasionally hear: "Where is the bowl?! "
• And my favorite greeting with my Breasts separately from me. With me can be at odds, but with her - never!!! Says, the most beautiful. To the objection that there are more beautiful, outraged: "What do you know! This is his home, as my mother's homemade pepper! "• And my socks all the time and put on the table or on a bookshelf. Because all his life he had a small, but extremely harmful dog that these socks forever disappearance, if they recklessly put on a chair, sofa or on the floor. Now the dog lives with her parents, and socks are still on the table, and it will not change anything!
• And I at one time was pristrunili man! If he sleep naked, lay down, make sure your treasure nose in the handkerchief was wrapped in. Maybe he was afraid that night I accidentally torn off. I once asked him, he answered that he could not sleep COMPLETELY naked.
• We are so excited that in the morning, I make us both a coffee. I drink black, and he drank with milk and sugar. So, for almost 3 years joint life every time he asks: "You give me sugar did you put it? "
• My husband loves to listen to CDs of Elvis Presley. The problem is that he sings along with the king of rock ' n ' roll, and very loudly! The sounds that the husband makes, is very similar to the roar of the hungry tour or a musk ox in the distant Himalayas, and it is possible that there hear!
• My husband loves to wear the apron! Even when in the sink 2 bowls, they still wash the apron. And when there is sits, still in the apron. Say, why do you need it now? Innocent face To the press not to make a mess. Come friend: Ah, Ah, what is your husband's business!!! And proves that he is in this apron is already half-day walks 2 dish washing!
• My dear, stirring sugar in tea, loud knocks on the walls, prevents 2 minutes, no less, and when you're done - taps on the edge of the Cup some sort of encryption. Type "Spartak-champion", only more and 3 times longer.
• Loves his leather pants, wears them from September to may, while never cleans, do not dryclean cleaning, periodically wears no pants... When listening to music in the player, for example, in the subway, knock the rhythm with his foot. Moreover, lifting the leg 10 cm from the floor and knocking full stop! Heard on the entire car. And he doesn't even notice it! Believes that when his hair gathered into a ponytail (they are long) - he looks efficient. Therefore collects them on top. Thinks that he looks like a killing machine. Actually on Malvino!
• And my boyfriend was completely retarded habit when nervous, pulled and plucked eyebrows. Once we quarreled with him, and he his eyebrows he is just working. Then as she looked at him, and in front of me, mother dear, the Mona Lisa. Then took my brown mascara... something was made there in their eye sockets. Remember, without hysteria, can't...
• And my nail biting. Biting them in pieces, as caramels, and with a thud sounds. Terribly annoying, I hand spank. And still loves after a bath your balls dry. Sit in the kitchen, leg spreads, put up the whole thing. And arm twisting - type dry. While I eat, for example. Very nice.
• My still occasionally likes to dance Striptease for me. Dancing so that clowns rest, and with a casual look and naively believes that I was immensely exciting, Yes, the excitement is - hysterical laughter. Dancer him not to be.
• And my own socks when shoots, turns into such a compact sagulenko!!! And how he is so successful, it is not specifically the same!!!
• My miracle will often take off one sock, so in one toe and sits in his socks, says, hot. And both shoot, coldly. It is called THERMOREGULATION. And it's AWFULLY loud, loves to sneeze. No, it is closed, of course, but the sound is such that it seems he has eyes to fall from such a tiny change. Once so snarled in the underpass, and there are still echoes... the worst Thing he sneezed unexpectedly for others.
• My sneezes too loud horrible! But he is still screaming and foot stomping. The surrounding is very scared and just jump back from him. How many times does he remarks did, and he's like, damn. He sits on the toilet for 40 minutes. Takes a laptop, and it will not donoussa. I'm already under the toilet door dancing. And yet somehow he is in the toilet fell asleep!!! Submit a picture? Very tired at work, and then a little drunk. I woke in the night - no! Ran from room to room - no! I was scared even. And I hear snoring from the toilet. That's because chuchundra. And yet he is everywhere nicet toilet paper, as if the deficit in the city, and in the car, and in the pocket of the jacket. I don't have time purchased!
• And my, when it begins to take off tights, never till the end don't take that off, it comes to knees, he sits and watches the telly, unable to break away. And so every time we talk is useless, as a ritual, sitting with his pants down for 10-15 minutes. Strange! But I have become accustomed. He also loves all kinds of trash from the floor to collect, type the spool, will sit on the carpet and allow half an hour to find.
• My loves to sleep in complete silence. All off, watch only electronic blinds and shit this black under them tightly closed, light on the telly retracted, so that the eyes do not light. And recently from rain invented on the railings on the balcony to prebaciti paralon. Not to knock, and absorbed. About how!
• By the way, someone above complained that there are three of them: she, her husband and apologize member. Now I was even better - we were four. And he didn't seem to be able to reconcile US, and what we have between our legs together. And when we met, after separation, he asked: "is It I missed? And you? And he, too, you were missed! And I been thinking about you and called... " Only ask, don't assume that all my men were fugitives from a psychiatric hospital. Again, it was very difficult to see. Or, when I accuse him of treason (jokingly, of course), he says: "what are you, I could and would change, but HE never, he is a traitor, this only gets you!!! He does not change and only likes you! " Well that no one hears... cough cough... have work to Polybase.
• Girls, and my husband's ritual - every morning 1, 5 hours on the toilet. This toilet is already equipped with everything necessary: there is a folding table, shelves for magazines, a laptop computer. He was there drinking coffee, eating sandwiches. All telephone calls there are. And when I knock and say I have to sit down, he rises, looks at me and says, "Let's sit down, just quickly. And I never can when they look at me.
• Where they can relax and be close as you are not with us, girls! And my loves to look in the microwave, especially when the grill is prepared and the food is spinning. It's funny, takes a stool and sits down, not looking up, looking out the window of the microwave type, there is a movie show.
• By the way, my always at the end of the meal asks, "what is this meat? " Always! Moreover, eating any, but must ask.
• My dry socks dryer, clothes right at him and holds until you dried up the toe, then the next. Still collects corks from champagne and wine, in the Fig they need not know. Them at his house a whole bunch, just in case, it might be useful...
• As always my eating under the telly, and when you go cartoons, he always stares at the screen, freezes, stops chewing, blinking, so he is interested in these cartoons! Adult 27-year-old man.
• My husband just warehouse strange habits: he likes to yell at his employees on the phone, sitting on the toilet, characteristically groaning and poukawa. He loves to spin in front of the mirror naked, taking different poses bodybuilders in competitions, and the funny thing is at this moment that his face (serious). He loves naked dance and his farm to naivety. Writes past the toilet and then sprinkles saliva, assuring everyone that this is our cat by pressurized.
• And my husband loves coil of PI:) roll - cut top, pull the crumb from the middle of the bun and let's roll the lumps, and so long, with such gusto, never start eating, if there is no PI:). Oh my God! How is he without coil will live! And then I go from carpets and these flattened lumps, swearing, peel off. And he his pants with socks before you put in the tank with dirty linen shirt wraps. Hides or something....
• And I have one young unmarried yet man invented a funny way to wash socks. In the bottle from under the water (6 liters) filled with hot water and a couple tablespoons of powder, and then closed the bottle is tossed into the trunk and he rides in the afternoon. Says that then remains only to rinse...
• And my ex, before you throw dirty panties or anything else in the tank, for some reason, all neatly folded, just as if fresh from the store.
• A lot written here about socks, but this, in my opinion, was not yet! I live with my husband of five years and every day see the same picture: Removing socks, every time he (no, not spreads them around the room and not hanging on the chandelier), and cautiously sniffs and disgust, but gently(! ), lays aside. Well, the question is, does he not know that they tend creepy to stink after a day of work?! But the habit of, say, second nature. Maybe this disease is? ?
• We have a cat yesterday this caper was. I purchased the dumplings don't like and prepare myself. Yesterday I made dumplings, cooked, my husband put. And he loves the cat from the table to throw. Well, that threw her dumpling. This fool pulled her out of the saucer and began to dig, as it is with their piece of shit in the toilet makes. My jumped up and shouted: "You are what make dumplings? " The nightmare said, more dumplings, there won't be.
• Girls, the funniest most awesome Comedy! At my house, too instance funny lives. He when to bed, facing the bed, pulls his treasure below the belt, and each time asks great if it had? As if THIS THING he is growing every day!
• That's okay! Come home, sit in a chair in front of the TV, pulling off one leg toe, but not to the end, and that one toe dangling. And so "relaxed waving" toe watching TV. Happiness, though socks don't stink.
• I make my husband every day, wear clean socks, what he is to me every morning talking about the previous couple of: "Well, they're still very clean, just once dressed".
• Help!!! My husband never throws! I started to conduct the audit, many povykidyval, and then found a box of tickets for transport over the past three years. Wanted to throw, but he was offended, I said that all the tickets, he went with me on a date, and he will keep forever! He even kept an empty box from under the cake, which we ate two years ago as a sign of reconciliation after a quarrel! So he got me a romantic. I love you more than anything, but where do I put all these boxes and everywhere???
• My love to lick the plate language with premlacivanja! Well, sniff socks and briefs. And drink beer! Beer from a large plastic bottle! Usually bought two! When the first drink is placed near the bed... and in it he carefully writes... that would be the time going to the toilet not to lose! The next morning, instead of two Beers, two beds full 1.5 liter bottle! Gladly pours: - you see how my kidneys are! How many drank so much and vassal!
• And my, when the dishes washes, rests so... in a China Cabinet head. Funny. And rubs rubs...
• And my evening, when relaxed, beer drinking... the Degree of intoxication, Peeps: - Pussy show! Well, show... Oh! Passing by, with himself panties drop, shake: " I Want you pussy show! " And so the whole evening. Passing me by amplitude-syudy in toilet beer to drain. And every time pussy shows me. In the morning: "OH, sick with a hangover! I pussy showed you yesterday? Yes? SO, HE PEREIRA AGAIN!!! "
• My the queerness: before you throw in the trash ANY package, it will inflate it and will pop. Even a paper bag, even plastic, any size, doesn't matter. Once pressurized the whole bag and was not able to blow it up, all tore up, then still somehow managed to use one hand to hold the floor, and he jumped on it. Not the first time, of course. Just to throw it away, apparently not. And it is very frightening, sometimes loudly and unexpectedly. Same thing with plastic bottles and cups. For 7 years of marriage so far managed only to teach, to warn him of its intention to something to clap, and move away. It looks now like this: grabbing the package it with the crazy eyes runs off in the other room, screaming something like"Now Pease..no! "" or ""Fire-battery-Pali! "", claps, then brings in the trash.• And, for me is a mystery! What frenzy need to brush teeth in the morning to splash all the mirror over the sink!! Or paste a lot, or head in different directions shakes!
• Probably, their socks are their fetishes. To wash a pity, because after washing, they will lose their individuality. One of my friend socks with no holes at all. So when he comes to visit, put the sock and draws the attention of all present, wiggles his fingers bare. And satisfied. But a good man.
• Lovely ladies! Men do not throw socks! This male marks his territory!
• And me for a full night's sleep just need a space where you hands and feet to stretch. And I have to cuddle closer. And it turns out that he is to me, I from him, until the foot rests on the floor is not. All through the night and crawl, and when I get up, he instantly my place lies, and sleep. So back to me no way. Once I got up once, be good to come to work.
• Oh my God, just my angel!!! Go sizelow...
Love your half, because they like the snowflake is unique, though in the same instincts!
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