Once famous rock musician David Bowie admitted in an interview that he began to use drugs just to win... shyness. If you too suffer from this complex, do not bring themselves to such extreme measures. Take advantage of other ways to overcome shyness.Psychologists say that six out of ten adults suffer from excessive shyness, and the other four people at least once in their life have experienced the pangs of fear before an important meeting or a public speech. The roots of this "disease" go, of course, in the distant childhood. And to fight with him you will have here and now.
Back to childhood
Now look at yourself as a little girl sitting on the chair in front of you. As it looks? How to dress? Her ponytails or braids? What do you feel when you look at this child? You can experience the whole gamut of emotions from a warm tenderness to outright hostility. Just say that shy people will experience more negative emotions. The ones that were shown to him in his childhood...
But let's try to look at it differently. Imagine that this child affects your life. The girl is still too young to realise produced by surrounding the impression. Perhaps some traits of her character really deserve our disapproval, but... it still is a nice child, isn't it? And why are we in the beginning it was so attacked?..
Well, podzovite the little girl by the name. Affectionate diminutive. You better know what your name was in my childhood. Or, how would you like to name. Tell her the words that I so want to hear any baby. In the end, it's not such a bad child. Everything now is in your life is good, became possible only thanks to her efforts. She did a great job and deserves to you was proud of it. Tell her that you love her and will never leave one. Pick her up and squeeze in a bit stronger. Let it in your heart. May she always be with you.
This child - you are remaining the same helpless baby. Cherish sometimes in his soul "itself-child" with the tenderness which nobody except you will not be able to give. Follow your most cherished children's wishes. Now take tomorrow and buy myself to everyone's surprise, the balloon, which you once did not wait for the parents, and you will see that your needs are an adult, too, will be largely satisfied. Love yourself, you will drop so prevent you from inhibitions and shyness. What you be shy - you're such a wonderful girl!
Adult games girls
Effective means of getting rid of shyness recognized as role-playing games. Even if you have no opportunity to attend psychological training in a group like you sufferers, some of them you can play by yourself.
Telephone incognito
It is hard for you to get in contact with strangers? Do it anonymously. For example, call on the radio and have your opinion heard about the transfer or simply purchase the song. You can also call the nearest company, store, library and talk to interesting, and may not, subject.
The main thing - to start a conversation. Not to pour out their psychological problems, as do the helpline, and to discuss any business question, as you have to do this every day at work. It is difficult? As you know from the beginning that this is not what you do at all, and your self-confident friend or even Julia Roberts. How can a superstar to be ashamed of?
Talk to strangers
Good workout to get rid of shyness is a conversation with strangers in public places. Psychologists advise to approach to the first passer-by, and then to the second, third, and to ask, for example, an hour, or to the library. For a shy person it's like to jump from the roof. The same excitement. Besides, right on the street you might be unable to adequately perceive. So remember that the easiest people to come into contact in queues and on the train. Yes and the conversation will be longer and more substantial.
Try to be attentive to what they say your sides, stressing that facial expressions, gestures, and words "Yes", "Yes", "really? " and so on, do Not be afraid to admit that you don't know something - people like to explain something to others! Learn from them the ability to open the soul before the first counter. Sometimes you don't have to do it.
"Anchor" itself
Recall a situation in which you felt absolute confidence. And don't say that you have always been hesitant and shy. This erroneous view about themselves and their capabilities. Every person has experienced in life in almost every possible sense. There was, however, so that you brilliantly passed the exam. Or just last week, very confidently explained to the younger brother, that he should tell his boss.
Remember this situation in detail, feel yourself in it, you will feel as you keep your head high, as freely breathe, how to change the intonation of your voice. The synergy of these sensations put "positive anchor, for example, tightly embrace the right hand his left wrist and, continuing to feel confident, stay for a few seconds. Relax your grip, but don't rush out of the situation: it's so nice to feel confidence. Remember better is a thrilling experience and then leave it. Stand up, move right up a little. Sit down and make sure the "anchor" works. Make the same gesture and listen to their feelings.
If the resulting confidence will seem insufficient, can repeat all of the previous procedure. Make what you will feel this feeling when touching the wrist. And when you will need it, just grab yourself by the wrist. Shoulders will be straightened, the voice will disappear, trembling timidity will take as hand.
I'm not a piece of gold...
Tell yourself: "I am not a piece to please everyone! ". From the point of view of psychology this is an example of a healthy response to external evaluation yourself, a loved one. Because of its complex You yourself put in a dependent position in relation to other people, thereby limiting their rights to a full-fledged personality, i.e. constrain themselves. Or maybe you just don't know that there is a bill of rights?
1. I have the right to refuse and not feel selfish.
Well think about it, isn't it time to say "no" to some pesky citizens? You don't have to please everyone. Denying another request, you will not pass for a man of bad character. You just show finally that the character you have!
2. I have the right not to justify himself before others for his behavior.
And even more to apologize, do so, and not otherwise. You are an adult, and even your parents already do not require you to report about late coming home.
3. I have a right to not like someone.
For all still love cannot be - be yourself. And then the most natural way will be found out, "Hu from Hu" in your environment: who is friend, who is foe. And parasitizing on your timidity people themselves will disappear from your life.
4. I have the right to their own assessment of their actions, thoughts and feelings.
Be independent of the opinions of others, do not look solely on what others think about you. If you blame for something, and you consider yourself to be innocent, just say, "This is my position, and you have to take into account! "
5. I have the right to change my mind.
Of course, you should already be solid life principles. But everyone changes over time. This is quite natural, therefore, if you are under pressure, when inconsistent, you always have the right to say, "Yes, I thought so, but now I think differently because I am a real person, not a machine". Aerobatics the same statement: "My Royal word is want I want to take back! " Imagine what shock will be those who are accustomed to your pathological shyness?!
6. I have the right to errors and responsibility for them.
Don't be afraid to make a mistake. It is necessary for the normal development of the personality. Not for nothing do they say that you learn from mistakes. And will continue to be insecure, to step on the same rake...
7. I have the right to be illogical decision.
Someone will be a finger to his temple to turn, assessing your foolish act, but you are not obliged to report to him. Be illogical and paradoxical, if manifest your personality and your style. Only it would not harm to the life and health of innocent others.
8. I have the right to ignorance.
Because of his shyness you are often afraid to admit to someone, they don't know something, nod your head, and then not know how to get out of a stupid situation. Don't be afraid to say the truth: "I don't know. Explain me please, what (or whom) you say". Smart people will only respect you for saying that.
9. I have the right to misunderstanding.
Some people are trying to manipulate you often use the hints. They say, "Well, you know what I mean...", forcing yourself to finish what they needed from you. Boldly answer: "No, do not understand. Have a talk". And we'll see who of you at this time will hesitate.
10. I have the right to be independent from others ' pity and condescension.
If someone will always use you in the head, you will get used to you are as timid child. And then we will never get rid of my complex. But you have another goal - to become confident personality!
Keep the bill of rights before the eyes constantly remember him as the multiplication table, and most importantly, apply in life.
Author:
St N.
Source:
MyJane.ru
No comments:
Post a Comment