Almost every team has a man (or several), which causes irritation. How to learn to communicate with them without stress? As a rule, annoying any one trait. And shows her this man just a few minutes. But the discomfort from communication with him sometimes lasts the whole day. Such people are called energy vampires.
However, the fact is that usually we are wrong to react to the situation, which causes irritation. Consciousness comes all the way back to her, and we swing your nervous system, like a bad tooth pain and some kind of masochistic pleasure.
To restrain the aggressor
Hardest to bear next to a man whose inside is still seething with anger. He may occasionally break away and scream, stomp their feet, waving their hands, scaring others. Or, harboring, to nurture their hatred to unexpected moment cold and cruel to pripechatat his victim.
What to do? If you sit and aggressive person should also take not to look at it from the bottom up - it diminishes you and inflames it. Look him in the eye long enough, but not too closely, lest he perceived this as a threat. Seizing the moment, say in a calm tone: "You are right". No matter what you add to these words, say: "you have reason to be angry". But when the words "you are right" raging people will stop. Because he wanted to RAID to knock the door and it opened by itself. And when the aggressor is a little slow down, say, "Speaking in such a tone, you really hurt me".
Somehow, these words also apply esmeraude to the unbridled people. Like they wanted to hurt the other, but admit it may just be the most insane hysterics.
Mountains out of molehills
There are people who are afraid of everything. At the slightest change of life or work, they panic. Often anxious people are rumours, make conjectures. For example, there is information about the possible reduction in the company. Let's face it, bad news, and everyone trying this situation in itself, is not in the best mood.
Alarmist cheat yourself and others, drawing the most terrible pictures. After talking with him begin to feel anxiety and powerlessness. Usually such a person roughly cut. And to make matters worse, because the level of anxiety increases. And after some time all over again.
What to do?
Calmly talk to this person: "What's bothering you? " Let expresses his fears to until they are discharged. Then you can ask: "is there any other scenario events? For example, no reduction will not. Or it will pass you". If this will not appease the alarmist, then ask: "What, specifically, you can now do to change the situation? " Usually people come to the conclusion that we just have to wait patiently for the outcome of the event. Or urgently seek another job. Which is too bad: action, usually extinguish the alarm.
Bird-talker
Its boring these people can bring to the white-hot man, even with an angelic nature. They say, say, say, is nothing essentially. And you are forced to waste time and wait until this babbler get to the core of what I wanted to say. Sometimes he forgets and stops: "Oh, what am I? " There is such a feature of the psyche: some people just need to think out loud.
What to do? From communication with the bore very tired, so talking with such a person, it is necessary to put strict limits. When it starts the stream of consciousness, look at the chatterbox in the eye and call it by name. This will cause at least a one second pause. Ask him: "can you summarize the most important thing that could be said for half a minute". Or: "About the details later. What is your idea? " If you feel that you get stuck in a whirlwind of words, say, "Let's take a break. And then we come back and spend just five minutes for discussion." In extreme cases, you can refer to employment and offer to send the main ideas by e-mail.
All men are enemies
It so happens that someone you just disliked. Maybe he got a picture of you only one thing that happened a long time ago, maybe once you had done something wrong, or maybe just a reminder of some of its unpleasant acquaintance. But this man growls, snarls, chuckles. Rarely can calmly react to this behavior: it literally drained of resources.
What to do? Usually, noticing that attitude, we meet the man just the same, thereby increasing his hostility. Or try to find out the relationship", asking him: "What's wrong with you? Why do you act like? " The second method also does not work, because hostile to you man feels in these words a challenge. Better to ask him a question in neutral rhetorical tone: "did something happen? " And if that doesn't help, then tell us "the enemy": "I noticed that irritate you. Can I somehow change their behavior, so you started to treat me better? " As a rule, this leads to confusion, because he was accustomed to act stealthily and not ready to openly discuss such issues.
All purple
These people don't interfere in anything, I don't like to communicate, they don't care all that going around and does not concern them directly. To them it is useless to ask for sympathy, understanding. Such people are generally nicer to communicate with machines and machines than with brothers in mind.
What to do? To leave them alone. Don't want to participate in corporate parties, events - let them sit for your favorite computer. They do not care who will prevail in the conflict of the Director and the Deputy does not involve them in the fight. If you still want to communicate with that person, then talk to him in his language. Ask them to analyze a particular situation, to weigh all pro and contra.
"I am the best-pelucchi! "
These people always want to be the center of attention, achieve it at all costs. They always have the best of everything: the work they perform faster and more professional all the children they are the most intelligent, talented and beautiful, the husband of such attentive and caring, the world has ever seen. Endless chatter about this tiring and annoying.
What to do? This is a special type of personality - hysteroid. And to stop their fountain bragging, you need a very strong tool. First you have to agree with this person: "Yes, it's great! Great! "otherwise, you simply will not hear. And when the stop boasting, I can say quite clearly: "But all are tired of listening to the constant proof that you are a super. Do not try to wrest from us the recognition power".
Don't be afraid to hurt such a man too deeply: as a rule, the personality of this type of people are very superficial. And all that does not concern Eulogy, they just do not take in head for a long time.
First aid if irritation
Slowly, considering throat, drink a glass of water. ( By the way, the irritation sometimes occurs from dehydration.)
- Focus on the breath.
- Draw on a piece of paper the person who annoys you, and to hatch it.
To do the exercise "Float in the ocean": imagine that you are a little float in the vast ocean. You have no purpose, compass, rudder, oars. You go where the wind carries you. Big wave sometimes covers you, but then again you come to the surface. - Feel the waves, the warmth of the sun, raindrops, cushion sea, supporting you.
Author:
Rusakova N.
Source:
Best4woman
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