In the family Zaitsevs ' scandal. Father quarreled with his fifteen-year-old son. The pupil Anton, to which parents are treated as an adult, seriously interested in dinosaurs. From morning to evening reading about them, bought on saved pocket money for new books, unearth interesting facts on the Internet. And when the father started with Anton conversation about his future profession, he heard the words, which feared the most. The boy said that he was going to become a paleontologist. My father had a nervous breakdown. He wanted to Anton became an economist! "And what about my business?! "he cried. Who is going to help me? Do you want life to live in poverty, with the bones of dinosaurs?
When father and son once again quarreled, Anton exclaimed:
"Everyone wants to see I have lived a grey and boring life! Why? I don't want no business! Why do I need so much money? Bread, milk and enough!
And in the Kuznetsovs quarreled mother and daughter. Seventeen-year-old Lisa fell in love with a classmate, and he answered her affection. Lisa and Sasha met almost every day strolling in the Park, Sasha bought Lisa ice cream. They were both beautiful, both well studied, however, Lisa's mother was unhappy:
- Lisa, what do you think? This Sasha two brothers, designated in the apartment there! Where you will live, if you get married?
"But we are not going to marry! - she was surprised.
- Why meet? - bewildered asked the mother.
The well-known conflict between fathers and children, which is the focus of so many books and movies, is repeated in every new generation, and there's nothing you can do. Dangerous is that often leads to the breakdown of relationships between parents and children. So moms and dads should think about how to behave with your teenager in case of any disputes.
We must not forget that people in the process of life is constantly changing. His perception of the world and its possibilities in different ages is not the same. What are the stages a person goes through between sixteen and forty years? Why parents, which exceeded forty, can't understand their children-high school students?
As the baby can't live without toys, and the pupil can't live without dreams. The young man feels that he grew up, full of energy, that life is beautiful, and in front of him waiting for a mysterious romantic events. School ends, opportunities. Graduate happy: finally got the right to choose, build a life on your script! It often seems that he is capable of everything can be an artist, a traveler, a designer can conquer Moscow or Paris. A young person from time to time to be in a sweet trance associated with any hobby or first love.
High school student, as a child, can not only live in the real world, to think about the situation in the country or about the household. He wanted his wonderful fictional world, which is closely connected with the real.
For example, in love with a young man walking along the road, and it seems to him that the lights are filled with everything: the trees, and houses, and other people. He admires the world, although the world has nothing to do with it, it's all in the emotions. This condition is necessary for the high school, and if parents are constantly disappoint, he will try to enter this state in another way: through alcohol, Smoking, drugs, religious sects, fanaticism. Your sweet trance he will still get another thing - how?
It is not necessary to prevent teenage dream. In their fifteen-seventeen years they generate energy, which will eat all his life! And parents who came to the conclusion that life is hard and full of hardship, it is not necessary to teach children to do this as the absolute truth. It is necessary to set children on a good life, not bad!
What happens to a man when he graduated from high school and begins adult life? Dreams interact with reality: they adapt it and, at the same time, partially embodied in reality. Now the boy got a diploma, earn a car. Here is a young woman holding a baby, which had long dreamed of.
The years go by, people become more experienced and practical, but in their soul remains something from his youth. This dream, which is called "someday": "someday I will have a separate apartment. Someday I give birth to a second child. Ever go to South America".
And here comes the fateful moment of revaluation of values.
All this happens at different times, but most often at the age of thirty five years. Person understands that saving excuse "someday" is sheer self - deception, he soberly assess the situation and understands that all was not as he wanted.
Often at this age, people fall into depression because they lived wrong and now nothing can change. Thirty-five people for the first time dare to tell himself the terrible word "never". For example: "will Never marry. Never give birth. Never make a career".
However, this depression lasts for a very long time, and later opened a second wind. The ocean recedes, it means that soon there will be a tsunami. And "tsunami" comes about forty years. Hopeless "never" changed to militant: "Now! You can no longer wait! ".
Very often in forty years man is illuminated the thought: "How long can you live for others, to follow other people's advice? It is time to live for yourself! It's time to fulfill your desires! " In this age there is a huge number of divorces, people often decide not only to change the family and work, but also to get a second degree. In forty years, many of us finally freed from the power of the mother and father, because before this age even dead parents have a powerful influence on the psyche, the person continues to follow their rules. And suddenly there comes a recognition of its independence: "It is I, such as is! I'm neither make someone else happy! ".
The concept of "dream" forty years becomes deeply disgusting. Parents of high school students realize that their situation daydreaming will lead to trouble. It should be possible to do something and not fall into the illusion, build some unrealistic plans. And most importantly - you cannot go wrong! At this age, to fix the errors have no time left!
Therefore, parents are so annoying castles in the air that build their children. For some reason they want the child to move his sweat slogan: "Now or never! " They want to have children immediately everything went correctly, that they didn't score his head stupidity called "someday".
Forty years mom and dad consider themselves to be very wise. They can't wait to share my experience with teenagers, so they didn't repeat their mistakes. And children older students less just want the "right to live". They need trance, dreams, fantasies. They need enchanting suspense! From this point begins the conflict of generations.
How to avoid this conflict, or at least to mitigate it, in order for life to maintain a good relationship with children? It's easy. Just parents should not interfere with the romantic interests of the child, and Vice versa, help him to complete this beautiful piece of life better and more interesting.
Remember girl, Lisa, who meets with Sasha. Maybe soon she will leave, and maybe will never part with. But one thing is clear: his first love she will never forget.
Let her mother for a moment imagine that Lisa will marry a wealthy man with an apartment, but the rest of his life remembering his meeting with Sasha and seek with him a secret rendezvous! How many of these poor women! Therefore, the mother should help Lisa to make this romantic period, which girl is going through, even more beautiful and interesting. For example, you can give my daughter and her young man theater tickets or river taxi ride, to help their friends to a picnic in the countryside, to the teenagers left pleasant memories. And Lisa will be grateful to my mother all my life!
As far as parents Anton, then they should show more patience. Mom and dad will also be useful to read a few books about dinosaurs, to understand what exactly they are interested in the child.
You need to give Anton a "green light" to allow him to engage in paleontology, and then, most likely, the passion remains just a hobby, but a guy will listen to the advice of parents.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the age of romance ends sooner or later, and it must be complete! If a person is deprived of something important in this period, it can get stuck on it, and his whole life will go awry.
According to analysts, if the child is too early to deprive dummy, in the future it will turn into a craving for alcohol. If the mother pays little attention to his son, he, as an adult, will look for the woman who would become his second mother. Unmet needs sooner or later occur, interfering with the person to develop normally. If you disappoint or young person staying in romantic dreams, it could result in the fact that people will not be able to grow up, and children and adolescent fantasies will take over the top when it is not needed. For example, at the age of fifty. Remember how you met these cranks! Therefore, each stage of life it is necessary to take a full and eventful life, in order to properly prepare for the next. Enjoy your age and keep children in their dreams.
Author:
Gum Yu
Source:
The health of the schoolchild
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