"Why are the leaves on the top and the roots at the bottom?
Why the night?
Why we meet different people?
Why is the Elevator?
Or this:
"Why walk on the street?
To breathe fresh air.
Why?
In order to be healthy.
Why?
- Because it's cool and nice.
Why?
And so on to infinity... or a complete loss of an adult. Because children's questions often lead parents into a deadlock. Get stumped by its suddenness, and the fact that very often such a difficult question to give a simple and affordable children's understanding of the answer. But - like need to be mentioned is that simple and obvious answer to any question of the child there! And often in spite of us, adults, simplicity and spuriousness, as once he meets the child.
"Why does it rain? "
You can really remember from the school course of the water cycle in nature, then long, stumbling, trying to translate it into affordable 2-Lecce language of everyday concepts, and after wiping the wet from the voltage forehead, to hear... a dozen "why" hard trying to sort out this information and unmet child...
Stop. And sure we are that he wanted to learn about the mechanism of rain? Because children's "why? " can completely hide any question is "how? "and why? "and, "what? ", and "what happens? ", and "what place is this event in my life? "many others and even several at once. So "why? " (and other issues), especially given the first time, should be perceived as a "let's talk about it". How to answer about the rain?
"To water the flowers". "So it was not so hot." "To the river became more water".
Or this:
"So we sat at home and was finally able to read our new book".
Or this:
"So the air was clean and fragrant". "So we can see the rainbow".
Or maybe just put all that can be somehow connected with rain - what is he most often in spring and autumn, summer - warm, black clouds, heavy rain, and gray - small and long, and so on, For us this is the most obvious, but for the baby is still a mystery. So he asks, "why? to find out all these details.
Of course, at some point it will be ready to learn about the mechanism of the water cycle. A signal of readiness will serve as a direct question, like "How the rain falls in the cloud? ". And we, of course, will have to answer it. But by that time we already had a lot of time to think in a calm atmosphere simple and clear explanation (better and clear - pairs over a saucepan). But even if this question was a surprise to ignore it cannot, and it is absolutely unacceptable to react with irritation or recommendations to wait a couple of old are their democracies, and there, in the school will teach. It is better to ask for a postponement, "You know, I am not ready to answer you, but I think (read, get ready...) and always prepare. To start a conversation on the topic after the postponement better: "I'm ready, let's discuss" that the delay was not for a child one option "leave me alone". Can together to buy and study the book on the topic of interest is to teach the child to always search for the answer to your question.
Why it is important to carefully and take seriously the issues of small "pochemuchka"?
Reasons why it is important to learn how to answer the questions of the child
1. The answer is knowledge. New knowledge is born in the process of odlewnia adults with their endless "why? "the child enriches their understanding of the world around him, this information expands the boundaries of his existence. Answering incurred by the child in the adult causes the appearance of new ones. The more you already know, the more interesting and exciting questions! Hence, developing curiosity, the desire to understand and to explain all around the intellect.
2. Answering the questions of a child, adult satisfies his need for respect. What does this mean? The child wonders and feels hurt when parents get annoyed or dismiss his curiosity. He feels stupid, unworthy, unwanted, and it is very traumatic for his self-esteem. On the contrary, if the parent calmly and patiently explains the baby is all of interest to him, the child feels the respect of his interests, his confidence and self-esteem grows.
3. A sense of reliability. Carrying an adult all your questions, baby believe in his wisdom and in the ability of everyone in the world to explain, to tell, to support, to help. The child looks in the adult support and finds her getting answers. Very bad if the child stopped to ask questions of either disappeared trust parents or strong self-doubt: "Small, stupid, unworthy parent answers..."
Questions that seem senseless
Often parents complain that the child repeats the same question with enviable regularity, even getting him a clear answer. Classic example: "Where's daddy? " - ' .", five minutes later, the same voice: "Where's daddy? " - "On the job! "even five minutes later, the same voice: "Where's daddy? " - "On the job!!!!!!!!!! ".... Equanimity toddler missing for a long time, unlike my mother's... Why, he asks again and again? There are several reasons:
is the request to "let's talk about the Pope"
- this requirement is "give me attention"
is the need for stability - the child wants to be sure that everything is in order, that nothing has changed in the last five minutes. Help detailed conversation about my dad and his work.
Sometimes repetitive questions can be a signal of trouble. If the question from time to time sounds with alarm and distrust, it can be caused by loneliness, the need for care and attention, anxiety. The question that was known long ago and clarified the answer may be: "do You love me? "You believe that I'm smart? ", "I am worthy of your attention? ". The child cannot articulate such issues directly, but wait on them a direct answer.
Questions that probe the parent bounds on the strength
"Why sleep? ""Why wash your hands? ", "Why can't waving a fork? " and similar questions about the restrictions, carry two problems:
1. knowledge - find out all about the reason for the ban. Do not underestimate the value of this task, although it may seem that he asks only for so as not to obey. First of all the child wants to understand the essence of the parent requirements - after all, what is understandable and justified, it is easier to perform. So you should start it with the popular and quiet explanation.
2. actually checking requirements for strength. Do you really need to sleep? So whether it is dangerous to swing the fork? The child discovers the correctness, validity of parental guidance and control the competence of an adult. This is not arrogance on his part, and learning to live with your mind. It is very important to encourage, again and again, explaining the reason for the requirement may be to find new arguments and examples. It shapes a child's intrinsic motivation to perform the requirements. Sometimes it is useful to waive those requirements that the child has outgrown or invalidity of which he was able to prove to you. "Yes, I think you're right. It is by no means the case will not humiliate you in his eyes, on the contrary, learn to give up and admit their mistakes (of course, if your answers are consistent).
Love and jaluit his talker and Canada, even if sometimes his questions forget your own name :-). For him, this stage is very important in all respects. If you really have difficulties, you can follow the example of one grandfather, who said: "Coming home, start with the threshold set to my granddaughter one question after another, and she is in the process to answer them, and not to ask questions of me. If I don't start, then start it! " A good way to develop their own thinking. And still with the same purpose it is possible for some questions to answer: "what do you think? " and ask, unobtrusive prompt.
But the main thing, the main thing is to keep calm and be patient!!!
Author:
Yarosh So
Source:
UAUA.info
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