A spoiled child or a minion of fortune
Clear view, confidence in movements manner to keep, openness and love for the world is the distinctive features of such a child. He is a dreamer and naturalist, pet and headache teachers: for sharp mind and a thirst for knowledge attached small... not the motor, but a nuclear reactor, not allowing and minutes to sit still. How to raise such a child? You need to indulge! Preferably starting from birth. How to treat? Here the issue is complex. Unfortunately, not many people can proudly say that their childhood spoiled, or to give an exact recipe. You have to improvise.
Where do we start? With determination. "Pamper - to treat someone with excessive attention, pandering to all the desires and whims." - tell us "Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language" S. I. Ozhegov". Most likely, we even know how to do it, just forgot. Just remember, when the baby is just born, we paid attention to him much more than he needed. How pleasant it was to sit with the sleeping baby in her arms and looking at the little face. What rapture brought the first smile, the first "ASU". How many kind words have been invented on the fly for the center of the universe. And how nice it was to us!
It turns out that to treat someone - it's very nice
But the baby has grown and hardly with the same rapture will react to our "baby talk". Will have to find other ways. They can become the world interests of the child: to find time in the confusion of Affairs, to sit down and discuss the merits of different machines or to praise the new outfit doll. To make money and buy a bike, when you look at that child's eyes light up - and maybe to give the child the opportunity to earn this money, and the value of gaining the "horse" will be supported by pride in their independence. Time to stop myself and not run to help the child climbing on the hill (a ladder, a chair) to give the opportunity to do something for yourself and enjoy a well-deserved victory - which is worth a mention and praise. Maria Montessori in his work notes the great importance of such "small victories" for child development. The challenge is to give the child to understand that his notice, I love that his dreams come true and even he himself can do, but it does not fill up with unnecessary toys and undeserved praise: when the immoderate use of both depreciates. Hardly three baby will be taken seriously impressed that he is able to walk (if he is not suffering from a disease of the musculoskeletal system, in which even the walk - a considerable achievement), but the praise proudly demonstrated the ability to ride a bike it is appropriate. The main rule is, your every action, word, gift, should reinforce the child's faith in himself, to keep striving for new achievements. Yes, treat - not an easy task.
A spoiled child or a small home monster
Surely you have at least once seen such a child. Porridge he would eat only candy and learned to do - if he will buy a bike. In the camps on the street my mother would put on his pants, and my grandmother will castagnet sandlike, and he graciously allows us to do this (or will not allow, and will squeal and break), although quite able to do these simple operations on their own. In the sandbox he knocks neighbor on the head with a shovel, and a shop will fall to the floor, knocking his feet and yelling "buy-and-typewriter". "What a spoiled child" - pomortsy surrounding. "But he was not spoiled! " - exclaims parents. It is not spoiled, and even brought up. But how? There are only three rules you can follow to raise a wonderful home monster even for a short time.
The first rule is as little attention as possible. The child that came out of infancy, it is self-contained and requires attention only when doing something not screaming, fighting, throws toys, knocks on the TV with a hammer, and the mirror - my mother's crystal vase. Then it is necessary to shout, swear or even to spank. The scheme is simple, the child will quickly realize that in order to draw attention to themselves, to scream, to fight, and knock. Several repetitions securely fasten skill.
The second rule is, do not give to do this myself. Three-year-old child is too young to wear shoes. Porridge with a spoon, drop and going to pollute new pants. With the roller coaster baby will fall and hurt will hurt. Dog bite, cat scratch, in a puddle feet get wet, and then a sore throat. Feeling the weakness and uselessness, coupled with a sense of evil and threatening world around quickly the child will be withdrawn, nervous, fearful, helpless and dependent. You can also make a note of surprise and confusion, if the requirements for the child in all family members will be different. Dad allows grandmother forbids, and it allows grandmother, but prohibits mother. This will complete the formation of the nervous and introverted character constant guilt.
The third rule - gifts. Much different and for any reason, and without him. At the same time, you can soothe the conscience that you don't have to baby time: replace communion gifts. Instead of an evening of fairy tales - a new doll, instead of a joint campaign on the carousel at the weekend - super-duper new-fangled machine model. Measures and reasonableness is not necessary - all that I wanted and can be bought, has to be bought immediately and instantly and podnositelja with an expression of guilt on her face, "why I pay you so little attention." Another good way is bribery. Eat a spoon of porridge will receive candy, learn a lesson - buy rollers. Each action has its price, and do not expect that the child will do something "for nothing".
Just a few months of such education and terribly spoiled child" is ready. Now you can complain to family and friends or to lead to a psychologist.
Actually, more often in the upbringing of the child in different proportions meet both approaches. I guess the question is in proportion, and shifting it in one direction or another, we often unconsciously grown its balomenou child or your own unique monster. It all depends on us and our common sense. Thankfully, long gone are the days when children were raised "Spock", and once again to come, and even more so to take the child in his arms, it was not - welcome. Already Nikitin described this approach as inappropriate and even dangerous, negatively affecting the development of the child. Now, we hear about the Japanese style of parenting, where carrying the baby in her arms, in the sling and joint dream as something natural, and restrictions of freedom are reduced to microscopic minimum - that is, the child knowingly and purposefully "spoiled". By the way, the Japanese are among the most organized and disciplined people in the world - in spite of free parenting style (or because of him? ). However, this better come with a good modicum of common sense: after all, no limitations should not live, and the baby is uncomfortable to live in such a loose, unlimited world. Probably the best recipe is a small amount to reasonable restrictions (because it's clear that the finger in the socket poke cannot in any system of education - the current poorly versed in pedagogy. ) and an unlimited number of pure parental love. And let your communication with your child brings joy.
Author:
Durackova M
Source:
mosfamily.ru
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