Monday, May 26, 2014

Relationship without sex is a myth?


Relationship without sex is a myth? Today, when we all sexually liberated and educated, it is difficult to imagine love without sex. But what really happens.


In human history there were times when love and sexual relations are not contacted with each other. In the Victorian era romantic-minded person I was looking for love without sex is too exalted feeling it was considered. Poets of the silver age dreamed about the beautiful stranger, not having any bodily claims. But we live in another time, might argue you. Sexual relations in contemporary culture is not perceived as something dirty or secret, and don't shock.




This is the case. But the area of human sexuality is far not yet read the book. Experts who study it, faced with many contradictions, and complex combinations. For example, one of the paradoxes is why partners are attracted (often mutual) and that seemed to be quite prepared for sexual relations, and not bring their conversation to the logical intimate climax, or even avoid this moment. What works here - fear, uncertainty, excessive sensitivity, illness, finally?




In sexology there is an opinion, that sometimes people fit together as sexual partners, fond scenario friendship and begin to think that sex will ruin the great relationship that there is between them. And the more inflated them (or one of them) the value of friendship, the more difficult it becomes to perceive them in a different way - say, sexy. And now, to save this friendship, they try to turn its attention to other people. Although it may feel for each other the attraction.




Contributes to the development of a relationship without sex and the Internet. He is almost limitless possibilities for imagination - you can give favourite person any excellent quality and fall in love with him already in absentia. And if the date turns out to be less exciting than it seemed, it can quickly collapse and return to the computer, which does not prevent to excite the imagination. Moreover, in a virtual relationship one is much easier to decide on frankness than in the relations of the present, which only reinforces the Internet preference. Yes and the role of the perfect lover on the Internet provides much easier.





Love without sex: true stories


Marina autumn vacation in Egypt. Almost before she returned home she met me. The young man lived in St. Petersburg and was remarkably similar to her beloved actor Keanu Reeves. "We've been together two of the most wonderful days in my life, " said Marina. I told him I definitely loved it and Dima... from his smile, I immediately began to increase heart rate! "




When Marina was leaving, he won't ask her phone number. But to leave the room prevented her pride.




It's been a few months, but Dima is not out of the girl's head. "Can't forget it, think of us constantly see him in his sleep. What a fool I was not leaving him the phone. I have fans, but he's all I want...."




Psychologists say that very often for real love are feelings, not having it direct relationship. For example, we can Wake up basic instinct, and we unconsciously looking for a sexual partner and parent for their possible offspring. In this case, could ignite a burning passion, and attractive for us, first and foremost, become the appearance and physique of the person. When physical interest begins to dwindle, exhausted and romantic feelings. But if the partner remains sexually attractive, you can develop and true love.





Katya year ago divorced her husband, falling in love with another man. No reciprocity yet and speech. In fact, in love with Katherine in a colleague who may not even know about her feelings. "First, I carefully concealed. And then Sergei suddenly walked quickly up the hill, his career grew quickly. And now I'm afraid for him to confess his feelings, because he can suspect me of greed... "


Not knowing what to do, she continues to love silently.




This love reminds already servile dependence - "nothing pleases in life quietly suffer and think only about him... " Lurks in it, oddly enough, the unconscious calculation, the desire of success, wealth, recognition - in short, just what is missing in your own life. If the calculation is done correctly and the second side really need to it all the time needed, admired it, and adored, then the relationship can be quite successful.





Alexander is a very successful and wealthy man. But he wants to be loved not for money and opportunities, and in spite of everything. Sasha, in his words, has long been looking for a girl with a pure mind. But so far unsuccessfully. "I check them. We communicate, go somewhere else, but to myself I don't call and don't bring bed. With sex I have no problems, which cannot be said about these relations. I want to be loved as a person, as myself and not as a mechanism for satisfying desires. But, girls, like, it's hard to understand..."


To recognize true love is possible at the stage of Dating, when partners feel that they are a hundred years familiar. But sometimes people do not even think that they share such a strong sense of relationship can be very ordinary and simple, without fervent passion and emotional intensity. From such a Union might even seem ordinary and boring. But true love is a state of mind. And the soul is good, when calmly.





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