About sexual preferences of men there are many myths. Some of them are pure fiction, and which correspond to reality, helped us to understand the well-known psychologist Annette OrlovMyth 1. Man must seek sex, otherwise it will quickly grow cold to the woman. True.
- Male hunters (I mean real men), so the process of winning is very important to them, " says Annette Orlov. Today, of course, no one is judging so harshly, as twenty years ago, but men in mind there are some view as a card on which is written: "a woman for friendship, woman for love, woman for fun". The most difficult part is to migrate from one box to another.
That is, if in his eyes you have already earned a stamp "girl night" - regardless of how you were okay, " take you more seriously he's already unlikely.
A similar conclusion, by the way, came and practicing American psychoanalyst Zoe, Strimpel. According to her, the man will almost never be considered as a potential partner the girl agreed on sex too easily. According to male elementary logic, he just "don't have to strain and make a serious relationship, once this lady and so easy and fast".
Myth 2. The more a man is ignored, the more you are interesting to him. Wrong.
This stereotype can play a cruel joke with you. Yes, on the one hand, the object of your interest can work for the notorious instinct of the conqueror, and he undermined will have to achieve. But on the other, many men any failure - you will not believe until death scares and, moreover, beats any desire to enter into a relationship at all. So we have to act carefully, without theatrical gestures and depending on what kind of man you are dealing with.
For example, if the call does not need to flee to the phone, but on the contrary, a little flirt as if you have nothing in common, " says A. Orlov. - If you give him a really interesting, he will be involved and will play along; if sufficiently interested, no, he can quit and look for someone else from their notebooks. It all depends on the men, from his views on the world, and what the image of the ideal woman he himself had drawn.
Myth 3. After childbirth a woman for men becomes sexually unattractive.
Wrong.
Many couples do experience sexual problems after childbirth, but it is related with men's whims, and banal everyday inconvenience.
Because of the difficulties associated with the housing problem, often three generations live under one roof, and this is a violation of the integrity of the family and the constant stress, says Annette Orlov. In turn, the stress is a factor for conflict and sexual problems. The family must be clear.
In addition, as psychologists say, many men themselves, children, and so the arrival of a new object of universal attention, knocks them back and enters into a depression.
Man, when is a father, is experiencing a crisis, as the woman switches her attention to the child. During this period, he feels abandoned and on this ground may fall into depression.
And even many of the "big boys", losing the attention of the wife, find comfort... at the computer monitor.
Many hours communicating with computer leads to increased anxiety in humans and may also be terminated by apathy and depression, " says Orlov. And depression and sex, as you know, incompatible things.
Myth 4. All men are by nature polygamous. 's true. But not quite...
In evolutionary order, it is recorded that a man aspires to the greatest number of sexual contacts. So, it is not surprising, although for us, women, is very disappointing, " says Annette Orlov.
But it's not so bad. On the evolutionary peculiarities of the male psychology is often superimposed childhood experiences and trauma. Which, incidentally, is a common problem for both sexes.
- Lives in each of us and an adult, and child and parent. In different ways, in different situations of our different personalities. For example, if a man meets a woman much older than him, perhaps, in these respects, he is looking for the attention that it should "baby" - little boy (as a role). Most likely, in his childhood he has been suffering these feelings or was forced to leave early from his parents ' home in another town, " says Orlov.
Myth 5. Men like impregnable.
Not true.
Despite repeatedly mentioned the instinct of a hunter, too "correct" and simply young ladies is able to scare away any Lovelace.
- When dealing with such women men feel that they are not as simple as flirting and playing. They understand that here, in addition to entertainment, you will have to take some responsibility, at least, emotional, and men are very afraid of this, " says Orlov.
However, the Golden mean is required here. Recently European psychologists have found that men repels... loud female laughter, because subconsciously perceived as a sign of promiscuity. That is too ready to flirt is also not attractive for the stronger sex, and too "free" ladies men prefer to stay away.
Yes, men need a sense of female freedom, ease, but this does not mean to become available and unleashed, " says Orlov. - They just need the game and the excitement - will or not, and what will happen next, and so on, They don't need clarity at the first stage, and your moral portrait at all scared. Therefore, it is desirable on a first date is generally as little as possible to give information about yourself, to listen more and try to remain unknown, not to talk about your dreams and hopes, to be a mystery. Not to say that you are looking only serious relationship and do not schedule the following meetings and to go first. We have to play cat and mouse - just because the guys are so interesting.
Myth 6. Jealousy stirs a man's passion. True.
The signs of attention from other men play the female hand, " says Annette Orlov. It is a great aphrodisiac and may even strengthen the relationship in marriage. And if the woman still to this attention indifferent, its value in the eyes of men is greatly increased.
But if "too long" and to allow other fans to fully capture your attention, is not like any macho. In the end you risk it just to offend and even push, as they say, to the left, so jealousy also need to be carefully dosed.
Author:
Mikhailov A.
Source:
Arguments and facts
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