Scientists say that our feelings and attitudes in a pair of genetically predetermined. As researchers from the University of London conducted brain scans lovers, students and found: love leads to mechanisms similar to those that produce euphoria the drug. During this period, people live on the limit. But, it seems wise nature has provided a mechanism to enforce the disconnection of the source of pleasure. Three years is the period of time necessary for the survival of the child. That is why through this period of time many people reach a crisis of relations.
But love is not only a chemical process. For three years people are bound to each other, together experiencing problems and joy, together change. How to build relationships, to love did not die in three years, and continued to live, finding new guises?
Ears Karenina
Every person has the annoying character traits, behaviors that are difficult to ignore and which, like the most notorious ears Karenina, cause bitter hatred, and the desire to throw himself under a train.
My friend's husband had a nasty, from her point of view, the habit of squeezing toothpaste, grabbing the tube in the middle and vigorously squeezing it. The paste is fired on the mirror, on the wall, on the floor. In the course of a year (!!! ) friend that prompted a scolding wife for this flagrant outrage, until tired and waved a hand. The amazing thing is that shortly after her "surrender" blessed became less likely to deform the tubes.
What to do? Make a list of your expectations from a loved one, trying not to forget anything. Let go and it will always call when delayed", and "soul after carefully going to hang a towel on battery" and "will always remember the day when we had our wedding, and also to give me flowers". Then try to assess which of these items are extremely important to you, and which are not. For example, actually for you is not so important a bouquet of carnations and a remembrance of the day of the wedding. Delete this requirement from the list.
The next step is to consider whether you want to waste your nerves on correcting some of his habits. If it is three years leaves after a shower wet towel on the floor, maybe useless every time to make about this scandal? Maybe spit and the hang towel? In this case, cross out this clause. But what you cannot accept, is to talk with her husband seriously.
Hour claims
One of the biggest mistakes in the relationship - the silence of such disputes. Anna long was annoying habit of her young man has refrigerator. He pulled out, for example, the Burger and it was absorbed, without warming up and not sitting down at the table. Anna was silent a long while, but one day, returning from work in an extremely bad mood and outposts loved for its traditional snack, started screaming, not with his voice and accuse him disgusting and disrespectful to her. The young man was deeply shocked by this reaction, he had no idea that this could someone annoying. In his house did everything exactly.
What to do? We were all brought up in different families, and that it seems obvious to us, it is totally incomprehensible to another. Negative feelings, if not to say, accumulate, and then can break out at any little thing and at the most inopportune moment. Since the conflicts and misunderstandings in life is inevitable, it is desirable that you have learned to discuss them, not hurting each other. Some couples allow themselves to wikicats, and it both seems to be OK. And any other raising voices perceived as a tragedy.
If you are already mired in claims and infinitely saw each other, enter "hour perturbations": valid only from 8 to 9 it is possible to Express their dissatisfaction. The rest of the time - criticism.
Freedom with a clear conscience
Love brings two people, but not make them Siamese twins. The desire to be with each other, doing everything together, to abandon their own interests and take their couple as inextricably substance leads to the fact that people quickly get tired of each other.
She wanted to be an exemplary wife and everywhere followed her husband. He's in the woods with tents - and she with him in the canoe - it's there, he's on a football match - and she followed. One day the husband gathered in the sports bar with friends, she also wanted to go. But then he could not resist: "This all-male party, I go there alone. And you take care of their own Affairs, girlfriends call! " The girl was really confused. She already forgot when the last time was engaged in his hobby and went somewhere with her friends.
Men are very sensitive about the deprivation of personal space. They think that suppress them, that they become henpecked husbands. Therefore, each of the pair must be your own life, allowing you to save your "I".
What to do? Agree that a couple of days a week everyone will be spending time for their classes with their friends. It would be nice then to be with each other alone, to share thoughts and new experiences.
"I - Bat... "
Predictability kills the romance. The feeling that you know your partner, with all its habits, preferences, and "kooky", on the one hand, calms, with the other drives in anguish.
To dispel boredom in established relationships will help the surprises. Man is by nature the conqueror and the light extraction quickly loses interest. Stay a mystery, show him that, like Heinrich Ajzenshpisu from "Bat", he had not read half the book that is before him.
What to do? Prepare new exotic dish, buy a CD with your favorite action movie of her husband, put on house mini-skirt instead of jeans. Don't forget feminine tricks. Buy a stunning dress, and when the husband asks, who are you going to impress him downcast glance, move the conversation to another topic.
Union after winning
My College teacher once asked the audience why the marriage alliances of the 40-ies and 50-ies were the most robust. Students immediately put forward the hypothesis of a post-war shortage of men (women were holding any), but our Professor took her only partly. His explanation was different: people rallied strong joint experiences - first fear, war and the struggle for survival, then the strongest by the intensity of the joy of victory. Love, experienced in similar circumstances, does not forget and does not tarnish.
What to do? To experience the thrill, not necessarily to become a volunteer in the army. But you can work together to bungee jump, go Hiking, climb the steep hill, to povezati the "roller coaster" or, eventually, show in a dark room a horror movie, gripping fear each other. Almost any experienced together excitation enhances romantic attraction. So be afraid to health, most importantly, together.
Source:
Best4Woman
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