In use of the Western psychological literature there is a new term: "Quarter-life Сrisis" - crisis quarters of life. The symptoms are critical rethinking life and, in particular, their top. Modern young people aged 20-25 years look back on their more successful peers, disappointed in his own abilities and develop a strong inferiority complex.Rejuvenated crisis
The crisis of the twenty-five years - the scourge of our generation. It hit us ideology of success, it is before us life sets out clear conditions: to be always a "winner" and never "looser". If in the second year of University you're still not work, you should hurry, if you know less than three foreign languages - you don't have to keep up with progress. Our parents are in their twenty years were as carefree as sixteen, we think in terms of success and struggle very rejuvenated a midlife crisis.
"The crisis 25" terrible and insidious, but best of all will understand me perfectionists, as well as those who from childhood had a million wishes and ambitious plans. We don't want average results, we need the maximum. And then one day, in a rented one-room apartment with a Cup of inexpensive tea in hand, we realize how little was achieved. The world is still not at our feet, and the serene stars on the red carpet of the Cannes film festival all so far. We don't need to wait for a midlife crisis, so completely disappointed in life, our self-esteem is already quite unlocked.
We do not have time! We do not have time for Daniel Radcliffe, the state to which eighteenth birthday was almost $ 50 million. Yes, there's Harry Potter, we have no time for childhood friends. Old girlfriend flaunts the dress from John Galliano at the Milan fashion week, removed for French Vogue and work 4 months a year. The first boy, tall boring nerd - works as a programmer in Tokyo, lives near Ginza and married to a young star of soap operas.
And we have - everything seems like five years ago and the future does not promise a fantastic gift. Ambitions seem all the funnier, the prospect of being branded a loser - all likely. Our Everest is yet to come, or Dispenser of Fate even forgot to write us a couple of subdued sky-high peaks?
In the pursuit of success
"The crisis 25" triggered active promotion of all the media cult of success. Modern man rarely suffers from a painful search for the meaning of life. If he does not understand that the purpose of existence is to achieve success in all spheres of life, he tells TV and literature, composed by American propagandists success.
In the end, sinister illness Quarter-life Crisis forced either to accept his helplessness (twenty-five years! or to join the race for total success.
The second way is fraught with workaholism, unhealthy careerism, "burnout syndrome" and the new crisis that will inevitably come at the moment when the fuse ends. Marilyn Monroe once said: "a Career is a wonderful thing, but nobody can warm in the cold night. Do not turn the success of the goals in mania. Career is good only when it does not take time and thought in other areas of life, otherwise one around you will find a scorched field. Moreover, even cherished by millions can not bring the long-awaited meet - crisis quarter life does not depend on material conditions, social status and availability of all the trappings of success.
The rules of the game in the success
"The crisis 25" everyone is enjoying themselves. In twenty-five we have not complaining mother, but still do not go to a psychologist and, in General, do not know how to cope with psychological problems. Unfortunately, in this case, the list of possible actions is very limited, we can only grow, develop and learn all the twilight of his personality. But now you can do something significant.
For a start, stop comparing yourself with others. We are too different and unique, in order to measure each other in terms of "better-worse". Yes, the standards of success significantly "younger" in recent years. Yes, the reach of the average person cannot be compared with the outstanding victories of individual young people. It should not be accepted, it needs to learn a lesson. It is no coincidence that envy can be divided into "black" and "white". So here is the first destroys the personality, the second builds, helps to set their own goals and to move forward.
So it is not necessary to sprinkle ashes on his head and despise society, put at the forefront of personal success. It just played in their social games. Believe me, you will become much easier after the first major victory, but it will have to comply with the rules of the game.
1. Focus on your development, professional and psychological.
2. Try not to beat opponents, not to do more than they are, and to overcome its own inertia and to jump higher than your head.
3. Do not gloat over less successful friends, it will not do you the honor.
4. Keep the balance. Nobody really knows, happy if your former classmate working in the Ministry. Maybe for the success he pays twelve-hour working day, the collapse in personal life and numerous drugs. Keep your balance as if you are Cycling. If you constantly bend over to one side, the fall is inevitable. You will be much happier if all areas of life will be equally good, than if one protruding region is surrounded by emptiness.
5. Learn to be content with every result, every victory. Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. If you get to the top, not noticing the intermediate victories, reaching desirable, you will feel only frustration and inhuman fatigue.
6. Look finally at your life with total truth in his eyes. It is quite possible that your definition of success is not synonymous with high-paying position and respect of his superiors. Understand what is really important is for you. Maybe you will leave the office to go all over the world with the book "Work Your Way Around the World in a backpack and a camera at the ready. To each his own happiness, and that's fine.
What are the experts saying?
Practicing psychologist Daria Samorodov:
"The trouble with modern society is that most people confuse the concept of "happiness" and "success". These are completely different things. In order to distinguish between these concepts and get pleasure from life and approving ourselves as individuals, it is necessary to develop spiritually. Ask yourself questions. To find the answers. To learn. Work of the spirit - and it's the hardest work you will not see no one but yourself.
Strive to stand firmly on his feet financially - natural, healthy desire, but as a practicing psychologist I can confidently say that neither beauty nor wealth, nor power do not guarantee the availability of healthy relationships and healthy self-realization. You need to seek wisdom and maturity, while remaining within the child, not knowing disappointments.
The main thing is how you are strong inside, so as not to humiliate himself by comparisons with someone's achievements and to be able to protect itself from unnecessary information (like "You have not earned their third million? "). Everyone has their own Path and have to go through it with dignity, not to mourn, and every day to build yourself and your world".
Author:
Pechorin D.
Source:
Леди@mail.ru
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