I can pout for almost a week, but then still get bored. And also the first to come to accept as it is difficult... and you have to pout on. Actually, as I said, the more time passes after a quarrel, the more difficult to accept. So no need to bring up to a week of silence in the house!
Again long obisanya" harmful to the psyche. You constantly digesting their quarrel, try to have an internal dialogue, to answer your abuser - but aloud, then don't say anything! While lighter people sometimes forget, which had a quarrel, but to pout still continue.
But the best way out of the conflict is a discussion of the reasons and as a matter of surprised, a little scandal! Importantly, according to psychologists, to do it correctly.
First, during the "loud" quarrels you will learn all that he thinks about you is your partner. However, you can hear and what not would like, but the truth. Just when stormy showdown your opponent less much in control and can make even the fact that carefully concealed. We need to give him the word! But do not forget that in the heat of a quarrel, people can tell and a lot of things that don't actually thinks. So still match that tells you the person and his character: as you probably know, quarrelsome or not, likes to swear and how to react to criticism. Better, of course, discuss all problems peacefully, but everyone understands that this is not always possible. Again, there are men undecideds who never will talk frankly about what they're really thinking. As a result of their better bring on the "big" showdown " then you will learn something.
By the way, this exchange of courtesies," helps people better understand each other. You will understand that you irritate your husband, your actions that he found unpleasant, and, most importantly, how to fix it.
Again, if you, as the saying goes, just shout, eyes closed and not hearing anything around, even it is paying dividends, according to psychologists. It is important not to interrupt all the dishes in the house! Just when you cry and say you have a huge surge of emotion and adrenaline that are eating you up inside. All this negativity should be thrown out, but it accumulates in you for weeks and even years. Nervous condition of the person only gets better. Again discharging the atmosphere in the house: certainly oppressive energy of resentment and silence, which accumulates in the house that are very harmful to the marital relationship in General, and for your psyche in particular. Once there is a surge of emotions, you immediately calm down and you are too lazy to continue the discussion. Easier to go along to the kitchen and drink tea, or... go into the bedroom and indulge in quite a peaceful pastime. By the way, that's why after the scandals sex much temperamental and more intense than usual. No wonder that many active couples put up with it in bed!
But, I must admit, some couples just looking for a reason to quarrel, to make a scandal... for fun. Just you have so many years together, all about one another know, there comes a daily routine and boredom in a relationship and then suddenly an explosion of emotion, conviction, you again call each other's interest. In these "Italian" vapor occurs rapidly, smashing plates and also very often quarrel ends in the marital bedroom. It is important not to think of the conflict only to make love. Otherwise, any sex would result in only a continuation of the scandal... but affection and tenderness, too, wants, isn't it?
Still, the scandal in a raised voice is not a panacea for boredom. After all, you don't just need to swear to your heart's content, but also to solve the conflict and to understand its causes. So you and your partner don't just shout at each other from the heart, but try to discuss the process, how to fix it and find a way out of this situation. And, most importantly, do not give away your charges nonstop - let your partner speak, pause in the scandal. Because you want not just to shout, but correctly solve the problem, moreover, so that your husband did not even notice that you already constructively discuss your problems. Try during the conflict not to remember his abuser absolutely ALL his sins and evil deeds which he has done from the day of your acquaintance. Vyskazyvalsa specific occasion that you are currently swear. And most importantly, NEVER go on the personality. This concerns, conflicts not only with your spouse, but also with any other person is a colleague, friend, friends... in Any case not stragely disability of a person, his name, nationality, external defects, as well as his relatives. It's just vile and indecent. Put yourself in his place at this moment, and you will immediately understand that any solution to the conflict you cannot go and speech. Besides, then you yourself will feel horrible.
Scandal is a matter for two. Not Zakataly disassembly when foreign people, even relatives. Especially don't ask them to judge you and not insist that they took your side in the conflict. The less people the better, as they say. And the quarrel will run out much faster when swearing only two.
Source:
Telemania
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