The forum is a powerful force that gives serious therapeutic effect, it can be compared with medication - sometimes it is bitter, but no less effective. But, unlike drugs, you can choose the one recommendation that is to your taste. We bring you the most different (sometimes conflicting) advice - from classic to unconventional, our data polzovatelya, on the branches, dedicated to the care of loved ones and husbands. The anonymity of the authors, the style and manner of presentation is preserved.
The following tips are published on the forum and are not recommendations of a professional psychologist
Immediately after
- "Let off steam! At the moment, I think, has nothing to lose in this situation. Pooria from the heart, stomp your feet, speak out loud, without any special selection expressions, can a couple of times to make the careless husband about jamb, suddenly his enlightenment will come? Now what to worry, because everything has already happened."
- "How will you continue to live, to think prematurely then find out. Now focus on how to reduce pain, to think will be another time, when the pain subsides. Useful any distraction from the suffering of activities - reading, movies, computer games (you gambling? ), communication on the forums. Not suitable alcohol and unnecessary snacks. Very well dramatically change the situation-visit in scoticus country, for example. And relatives in vain not attract native people exist to be there in times of need."
"If you find it difficult, do not seem strong that someone to prove. I'm a month in order not to think, watching American sitcoms on dvd, with these heroes fell asleep and woke up, until one day not realized that the pain was gone, and I have to live on."
-"Do not throw at it no problems, don't expect anything from him actions. Let him forever to leave. You need to go through the pain alone there suffering from love? Your pain instead of you will not survive one."
- "Often advised to flee quickly to the gym, Solarium and cosmetologists, dress from head to toe in sexy lingerie and the like brad. How many followed the advice? And then at night I sit here on the Woman and write that just came back from the gym, the kids are sleeping, and they roar from despair and loneliness in front of the computer, everything in this sexy lingerie and smeared with creams cellulite. Might be a bit angry I wrote, but that's not the way out of the crisis. Pain is necessary to heal the soul and then the body. What gym, beautician, Solarium, Dating sites, when no one wants to live? The living corpse, the pain tearing myself apart, saravana antsy shadow. The emptiness inside, there are no desires, neither eat nor sleep. Such pain heals only time, and no more. Friends are great, but they are a week will not be able to handle the load of pain and despair that you hurl them stories about his unhappiness. The first month it is desirable to cry, to Mature, to stay in the burrow itself.Do nothing, t.to. you're not right in the head and can hurt yourself with your own actions. No psychologists, family - only you, your pillow and a few good movies for the background to something lulling. This is the first stage, the heavy. It should just go through, to experience how the flu. And only when you feel that Mature, you again want to move, go shopping, to call my mother to chat in ICQ, it is desirable, not because it is assume that the worst is behind us, began a period of rehabilitation, restore himself to his beloved, folding himself torn in pieces. Instead of pain appears completely natural anger at the goat, which you trampled. And this anger can work wonders. To prove to him, to yourself, to the world that you survived, you are the best, you still smile, surrounded by friends and admirers. It is during such periods of anger at all and, above all, with himself for lost prerevenue time, girls are able to do a miracles and become Queens. It is during such periods we are changing beyond recognition! It will take another 2-3 months. And now, 4 months and you suddenly realized that you nah. (sorry) don't need the same goat. You coped without it. Means to cope and continue with the rest of. As said by George Bernard Shaw: "I have two days lived without seeing you, and those proved able to withstand all". You survived almost clinical death, survived. You are given a 2nd chance."
Strategy and tactics
- Most importantly, are more among the people. It distracts. And better not meet on Dating sites. Their regulars, usually in search of sex. Many of them have been married. After talking with them will begin to idealize the former. I've already been through this. Better go out with friends, sign up for salsa dance classes, take up the study of Japanese language, expand your circle of acquaintances."
- "You don't talk! Calls it. To the other escaped and just in case the relationship holds. Went and walked away - no one knows who got lucky. Be wiser. The less information about it, the sooner you switch, the main thing - more experiences (travel, Hobbies and. so on), everything would fall into place."
- "To occupy themselves can be anything, the main thing is not to beg him to return. Then myself begin to hate. The pain will eventually subside, and, as shown by the bitter practice, husbands and then want to return, but whether it will be is another matter. "
"Think about his shortcomings, how much you had suffered much because of him. You are not masochiste! Think now about yourself, think positively that all the best is yet to come. I always helped the sport, it's distracting and helps to get in shape - choose something that suits you. Can do at home to do, the Internet is full of videos. Treat yourself, go shopping is always uplifting. Get out more often somewhere with her friends in common, love yourself! "
- "First, do not blame yourself in this situation. Secondly, famatinite themselves physically (all kinds of aerobics, gyms, etc), so that the spirit could not translate from fatigue. Thirdly, you need to throw it out or put it away (in my opinion it is better to throw away) all joint photo. Fourth, do not dare to humiliate herself and beg. Fifth, change clothes and make repairs in the apartment (if funds allow). This program is a minimum. The point of all one - take yourself something, and do not allow yourself to suffer for a bottle of wine alone. And remember, after the divorce, life is just beginning! "
"Debriefing"
"The problem is not that the husband leaves you, and that you have learned to live with it. Can't do that. Apply first on the divorce and try to save face at the same time, it will give you self-respect. Looks like this "You can't dwell with me, OK. Then I first divorce and give you freedom. Hurt, but the sooner we leave, the sooner I can meet a man who will love me."
You too, that is not a pity? Why did you bring himself into traucki and insomnia? Health-it is not eternal, turn on the instinct of self-preservation. Think about who will be in a couple of months when this behavior. You now spend your energy on pain. Do not sit at home, go to the gym - there are men and girls who radiate so much energy that it will support. Always helps me thought that my problem in the universal scale - it's not even a soap bubble. For example, I'm suffer from men, which I don't need (this is not necessary and all), and somewhere children die from cancer, someone today buries mum or dad, and youth, hell is not eternal.
Hold on! Just learn to live independently is not the end of the world will still be in your life love. Just never parastate for a man, live by the principle "I can live without you, just live with you more interesting".
Philosophical advice
- "Do you think there are adults who do not would love disappointments, tears? In my opinion, all have passed through this, and only in clinical cases remained all his life miserable. The vast majority of people lived on and was not less happy. Just don't tighten the period, not savor the past and its pain. Don't waste your life on unnecessary worries."
- "The sad experience is also an experience that will make you trained and wiser, teach a better understanding of the people to appreciate and respect themselves and not make the same mistakes in other ways. Postraduate a little weep and forward to new friendships and new relationships. Don't let this unworthy man ruin your life. You will be happy."
"You can not change anything in this situation, and is not necessary. Ask God for strength and patience. "Everything passes and this will pass... " said king Solomon."
An intriguing approach
- "Will gradually become easier, believe me. Try to take all thoughts of anything extraneous, not to leave a single minute thinking about her misfortune. Me in difficult times helped continuous reading idiotic detectives - read Dontsova volume after the volume directly on the list. Read in the shower, eating on the go, in the subway, before going to sleep and if you Wake up at night. When I re-read all of her work, a month and a half somewhere, the problem was not so important and I was able to live on."
- "Someone clears the way for you, removes all the unnecessary, so you met my man. Do not hold on to the past! "
"I pulled myself literally scruff: I don't remember where and who, but gave this advice: When you go, look at the tops of the trees! It turns out that come with proudly raised head, really works. Maybe You can help?! "
"When he went away and left the keys on the table, I realized that he will never come in my fortress. I thought I could fly, heart wanted to sing, the body can dance - ur freedom!!! Is really gone and now you can Wake up one, but not for snoring and harassment? Yes, so little needs to be happy, how to live well one! The apartment again smells good (not smoky), extremely clean, TV is not the eternal football, and in the kitchen there is no greasy spots from roasting meat. And most importantly - don't have sex "for him", when I do not want this, I enjoy... "
Source:
Woman.ru
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