Do not talk!

Vain words


Talkativeness, excessive frankness often brings trouble. How to avoid such situations?




With "easy" hands American women of LuAnn Brisenden, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist, on the pages of Newspapers began to walk myth that ladies three times boltliva men. She proved that a woman uses approximately 20 thousand words a day, while a man - about 7 thousand. To refute it decided... the representatives of the stronger sex. With special speakers they watched 396 students. In the end it turned out that after 17 hours of wakefulness women said on average 16215 words, men -15669. Then there are rumors of excessive chattiness of our sisters are greatly exaggerated.


All depends on the individual person.





The border was closed


There are people silent, secretive. There are, what, barely acquainted, discuss all the details of my life. It depends on many reasons. For example, on the temperament: melancholic and phlegmatic are not inclined to engage in dialogue without necessity, sanguine and choleric - people are more open. Extroverts are focused on the outside world, so communicate more than introverts, which closed on itself.




And of course, the important role played by education. There are families, discussing everything from intestinal to words in the most intimate moment. Natives there have not felt the need to hide something from others, they are so "simple" that his frankness often shocking people.




And there are families where the inner world of each inviolable. Its members can love each other, but to share the "secret" prefer only the mood or desire. People brought up in this spirit, very selective relate to those with whom you can openly talk to.





The steam - whistle


If you are one of those who likes to scratch language", please pay serious attention to this trait. It can provide you bad service.




First, accustomed to hear all your thoughts, you will inevitably begin to webutility that is not intended for prying ears. People can take this information and make it a weapon against you.




Secondly, chatting, you're not doing at that moment something else. Let's say you have going to re-read "War and peace". Today is just a free evening. You open the book, but here... calling a friend. And you're an hour and a half discussing whether it was your common friend to marry this fool. "War and peace" continues to gather dust on the shelf.


Third, empty chatter, oddly enough, takes a lot of energy. Surely you yourself noticed: it is necessary to spend in this "easy conversation" for an hour or two, and feel energized. Especially bad is a lot to talk about events that are coming just. Not because you can jinx". Just "all the steam goes into the tone." And when it comes time to get down to business, it does not have neither the strength nor the energy.




Team secret




At work we spend most of the time. And whatever you wanted to hide from colleagues his personal life, still something seeps. You're talking on the phone with their home, ask for leave from his boss to do some non-work things, ask a colleague to replace you, if some important event in the family. And that's fine. Furthermore, very closed people, have ready the expression: "not your business" is not really love. So some of openness and willingness to talk about personal topics should be.




But if you to all the staff report that the mother-in-law you gave an old towel, placing it in a fancy package, and a teenage daughter yesterday lost my virginity is it already too... So you need to clearly define the limits: what can and cannot talk to colleagues.




Excessive frankness can corrupt and career. In any group told a secret to one person sooner or later reaches the ears of the mentioned. And the smaller the company, the company, the faster spread rumors. This does not mean that the person with whom you have shared, for example, his thoughts on the act of the head, immediately ran and told him. Perhaps your partner, being in solidarity with your opinion, just shared it with someone from the other employees. And further down the chain it comes to the head.





Not for the ears of the beloved


In principle, men are not against women's chatter. Studies have shown that eight out of ten men from communicating with talkative women lifted the mood, the feeling of lightness and celebration. But there are topics that should not be raised in the community loved one.




Foremost is the fact that is connected with gynecology. Of course, there are such brave men who "give birth" together with their wives. But most are afraid and tend to move away when talking about the problems in our "lower floor".




Not worth talking with your loved one about his predecessors. Even if you repeat, as it is an excellent "compared to my former, it hurts his feelings. For all the diversity of views among modern men remained proprietary atavism: they want to be the first and only.




And finally, they don't like it when they complain about problems that they cannot solve. So don't tell how you were bad when he did not call; how hard you have suffered the death of his mother; as the "chosen" of the communal. Men do not understand that we only need compassion and understanding. Hearing about our troubles, they think: "I what can you do? " And because really - nothing (all problems in the past), you are lost and trying to get away from the ladies, which "loads".





My tongue is my enemy


Does not affect the conversation with strangers such topics as politics, nationality, religion. Some sensitive even on neutral statements related to these fields.




If you want to say someone is bad, ask yourself the question: "But I can prove the truth of his words in court? " Or, "I'd have had the courage to say it on the radio? "




Do not continue his monologue, when you stopped to listen, or listen out of politeness. Figure it out very simply: shut up for a while. If you are asked to continue talking. No one noticed that you broke it off - then indeed it is time to call it a day.




Revelation mash

Author:

Nikolaeva T.


Source:

Best4woman

women's web magazine