Rupture of relations with the spouse in his youth more traumatic for health than divorce in old age, said scientists from the University of Michigan.
As shown by a new study, older people cope better with stress, which carries a divorce. In the course of work, scientists have compared the health information 1282 respondents with information about their family status. The result was that the health of their peers who are either divorced at a younger age were either married, is markedly different. For example, those who are divorced, often complained of various health problems.
"We believed that divorce less traumatic for younger generations, because they disconnection is more typical, however, everything turned out differently," comment the researchers. Perhaps the pressure to save a marriage in any situation that faced the older generation, was forced to divorce only the most unfortunate spouses, with the result that they felt relief after divorce.
In General, the study showed that those who know the major causes of divorce is not hearsay, health deteriorates significantly more than those who remain to live in the family. However, people who live alone for a long period, health differs little from the health of married peers. Thus, health is not affected marital status, and stress due to the experience of divorce.
Every other couple in Ukraine, unable to enjoy the pleasures of married life, divorce for one reason or another. This is evidenced by the data of the state statistics Committee. In January-August of the current year were registered in the country 195 225 marriage and 93 539 divorces.
Similar percentages of divorces and in other developed countries. For comparison, in Russia for various reasons divorce 57% of married couples in the USA 46%, Canada - 48%, England - 42%, France 38%, Japan 27%.
What are the causes of almost half of the marriages ends in divorce?
Razvedchitsa pairs, answering questions sociologists often call the following causes of divorce:
- emotional immaturity partners
- the incompatibility
- sexual incompatibility between partners
- adultery
- infertility par
- the appearance of the child in the first year of common life
- cohabitation of the spouses with parents
- late or early age at marriage
- wrestling partners for dominance in the family
- long forced spouses live far away from each other (frequent visits, travel, migration, and so on)
- marriage without love
- different levels of education, a significant difference in social status partners
- the material dependence of the spouses, for example, the wife earns more than her husband, or the husband contains family and whenever reminded of her.
- the abuse of alcohol and drugs
Main advice: don't give reasons, to avoid any reasons for divorce
However, psychologists say that the circumstances which the broken pair is called a divorce, it is no more than the reasons for a breakup. The true causes of divorce often lie in the following:
- Fatigue and physical exhaustion. The mistake many couples that they want to catch everything at once. To bring up a child to learn in high school, working two jobs to repair the apartment. With such rhythm of life time for petting and attention to each other just do not have. Family happiness is threatened when his wife is engaged in the upbringing of the child, and the husband is entirely busy career.
- Hole in the family budget. The inability of the family to plan the budget, different views on the budgeting and expenditure of funds to different needs. Often, if one spouse from a family that accepted "to save and save, and parents second live "one day". In this case it makes sense to stipulate at once how much the wife will try to postpone, and in General, will they try to save.
- Selfishness and immaturity. In nature there are two types of people: taking and giving. Perfect for creating happy families - both the giver, the marriage between the giver and the beneficiary based on the offset ("I'm a soup dinner cooked, and you give me that? "...), the marriage between the two which is doomed for divorce. Selfishness and family is not compatible.
The immaturity manifests itself in relations unwillingness to listen and hear partner, inability to compromise and forgive. The argument is based on the desire to show his superiority: "to hit more" partner in the weakest place. - Boredom in bed. According to statistics, sexual incompatibility is the cause of divorce in 40 % of cases. According to psychologists purely physiological incompatibility of partners (big penis or a narrow vagina) is extremely rare. Where are often the cause of failures in bed - mismatch of temperaments partners, emotional indifference, inattention to each other.
"Recipe for happiness" or there is no reason for divorce
To marry it is not tricky, it is much harder to build a strong family and not to give each other reason to quarrel. In order to preserve the freshness and newness of the relationship, just follow a few simple rules:
Rule 1.
There is no boredom in the relationship. If every day is like the previous, this is a sure signal that it's time to take the situation in hand. To refresh relations and return them past the acute need to make a small timeout. You should try as often as possible to be alone more often to talk to each other compliments, make small surprises. If you never give each other coffee in bed, you can start with this. Spend a weekend together, get into nature and just walk.
Rule 2. "Stick and carrot".
The best way to give the dynamics of the relationship it is the "stick and carrot". But everything should be in moderation. Small skirmish or showdown immediately after situations that seem invalid or touches one of the spouses ─ very useful. At least, much better than the silence of the conflict. However, by the end of this hassle is better to do violent sex. Do not hesitate to take the initiative. In family happiness no compromises!
Rule 3. "No problem"
Problems do not take it home, leave them at work. You should not vent their anger at the authorities for their loved ones. Better embrace my soul mate and feel how it's good that there is a near native shoulder (shoulder! and now it is in your arms.
Rule 4. "Sacred bedroom"
The bedroom is a sacred place. Here not means you cannot sort things out and especially to quarrel. The marriage bed is the area for pleasure and recreation, As cynical as it may sound, but the quality of sex depends on the happiness of your family life. Therefore it is impossible to prevent boredom in sex was the cause of the divorce. Liven up sex life, don't be afraid to experiment.
Rule 5 "Complexes not to Oedipus"
Psychologists believe that men unconsciously choose to marry a woman like his mother. So you should look to your mother-in-law, to determine the positive and something to learn for yourself just in case. However, it is better not to do it if your mother-in-law's personal life has not developed and the son she raised. According to statistics, men raised by single mothers get divorced more often. These men 60% of marriages end in divorce.
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