Puzzles for mom
Agree, there are many situations when we understand how to act, what to say, but we do differently. Our emotions, fatigue, habits force you to make mistakes and regret them. Theory of knowledge for educating children often do not work in practice.
On reception to the psychologist often do parents who sincerely believe that their child is simply impossible to find a common language, and offer specialist to verify this on your own experience. However, the psychologist is always on the side of the baby. Often parents themselves and tell the answers to their questions: "Well don't tell me that he behaves this way, because we are separated". And the children behave the way we taught them, as was shown, as was brought up. They respond to the situation in the family, the changes that occur in life, etc.
The conflict with the child - this is not a quarrel, where each party tries to blame the other. Here you need to prove that you are able to find the correct decision. For example, children make noise and indulge in public transport. They need to calm down. Familiar - to scold, to build, to punish. Often such behavior from their parents and can be seen. It requires no thinking and ingenuity. But this, frankly, rarely help. How do parents, if you remember that you are dealing with kids who are bored to go quietly and tired? You can offer them a quiet game, to distract interesting story-a secret or try together to listen to different sounds around who will hear more.
Consider each and every case as a challenge, in which you cannot change conditions, but which must be addressed. Will you be able to solve the problem - time to get out of the house and not to be late, if the condition says that yelling at the child not to offend the more, and he does not hurry up and pulls the cat's tail? And if the kid pulls the tail pet in the truest sense of the word, and you find him doing this not for the first time?
Emotions under control!
"Each time to come up with something new?! Entertain and strain?! No energy, tired! - many would say. Want the children fulfilled our requirements unquestioningly, regardless of how they were made.
But let me, if we can't control my emotions, my feelings, my fatigue, that is why we require such a child? And all the time!
The emergence of emotions in the first place connected with thought processes. We feel what we think. Naturally, these thoughts, internal conversations - each his own. We may not realize it, but there it is. We must learn to identify and change the thoughts that lead to the exit itself, irritation and edginess.
For example, your kid can't learn to read, and the neighbor boy already eat the book. As soon as your baby makes another attempt to lay down their warehouses, you just shakes. Why? Are you worried that he will never be able to learn this simple fact? Or to lead a workshop with the baby you are interfering with parental ambitions? Please answer the questions and make appropriate conclusions.
However, each person has the right to negative emotions, because there are reasons or reasons of their appearance. It is important not even their appearance, and that is followed by feelings. People always have the choice to start yelling, cursing, or to look at the situation through the eyes of a child; to take offense and to be silent or to imagine that feels baby.
Causes of intemperance
Fear Often parents are afraid that the wrong behavior of children will continue into adulthood. If one-year-old kid asking for pens, mom is worried that this will continue at two and three years. Worrying about this, mom gets impatient and yells at the kid. Time will pass, and, remembering his recent experiences, many of us will laugh, realizing that spent nerves in vain.
Terrible child! Near the first goes second reason is that we believe that our baby bad! Of course, we do not agree with this statement, hearing it from other people. But such thoughts make you feel anger and irritation. The child threw up in the bathroom toys and does not want to remove. Would you be angry if I didn't think that he does not appreciate your work, that he is lazy and sloppy (it's bad)? Perhaps you would be upset that there is a new cleaning service, but hardly would have shown anger.
It is important to learn to separate the actions of the baby from him. Pipsqueak's not so bad, its bad behavior. Don't judge the kid. Explain to him that to do so is wrong - this is education!
To spite me! And again similar reason: the child does so on purpose, to hurt, he does out of spite. Thinking so, really it is very difficult to control their emotions. However, there is always some extenuating circumstances of the child's behavior, even if he deliberately goes bad. Baby stubbornly sticks to you with one question, despite your request to be silent until you dogovorite on the phone with the boss. Maybe the child does not have enough attention? May be, it is very important your answer right now? He is not able to wait patiently? Maybe he thinks that you in spite of him not to answer?
His studies and passion for children Often irritate their parents, distracting them from work or Hobbies. But imagine that when baby is a little older (but possibly before, literally the next morning), when you will ask him to help you, and he will play, watch TV or have to do homework, he will tell you the same. Whether to show the kid a negative example? Because very soon you will have to solve a new problem: he does not hear, does not respond, snarls. Even if you are very busy, take a break for child - he is the most precious thing you have. It's a question of priorities.
Problems, stress, difficult life situations the same things the baby can bring a smile to your face or anger depending on the circumstances. My husband was raised on the job, he shares with you our good news, and here is smeared with glue son, and reports that accidentally spilled it on the sofa, one reaction. Husband tells dismissal, you think, how to live, and the same kid - another reaction. Of course, only an awareness that can save a child from your anger. However, it is important to find inner peace. Can't always be all the way you are in my dreams. Learn to be happy with what you have, try to see joyful even in the saddest situations.
Habit Phrases like "Stop it! ", "Shut up! ", "How many times have I told you..! ", "My head hurts!", etc. come from the language automatically. Answers to nevyletanie questions and requests popping up as if by themselves.
Give the life of the paint and, instead of the habit of calling lost drinking bowl toddler resterai, tell us a little bitty tear tale of lost the Cup.
Author:
M Androsova
Source:
Happy parents
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