Many children undergo a period of between two and four years, when the shock and biting are a form of communication, often only for the expression of one or another state, for example: "I am angry" or "I want this." Not having even the gift of speech and, thus, not knowing how else to Express their wishes and requests, they tend to resort to fists or sharp baby teeth.Despite the fact that this is a normal stage of child development, such aggression can turn into a habit. Children who are growing up, they learn to suppress their aggression and to communicate with others through speech, often turn into real fighters, says James Bazigar, social worker and coordinator of public relations, working in the Center for family relations, children's hospital of Pittsburgh. With fighting kids can get things that they want, but it will make them outcasts in the children's company and other kids will be afraid of them.
If your child is in this phase of development, he may soon pass from her. To bring this point (and to help protect other children! ), you can use the tips that will help your child get rid of aggressive habits.
Attend
If you see your child has not yet started going to school, hit another, first go to his sacrifice, advises Robert Mendelsohn, Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Oregon in Portland. Raise the hurt child and say, "Jimmy didn't want to hurt you." Then hug him, kiss and spend out of the room. So you take attention of your child, putting in playmate. Suddenly your child notices that the fun was over and he was left alone. Usually, you want to repeat this 2-3 times and scrapper will understand that aggression is not in his interests.
Establish rules
From the beginning, teach your child to respect the rules. Just say, "We don't hit, and nobody beats us", says Lottie Mendelssohn, a nurse from Portland, Oregon, which is one of the authors of "Encyclopedia for parents", which she wrote together with her husband Robert. For children aged four years and older requirements can be more detailed. May say: "In our house there is a rule: if you need a toy, but it plays another child and not give it to you; wait". This Board gives Bazigar.
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Become a guardian angel
Children who use physical violence, are often unable to cope with his character. For example, when the toy he wants to play, is at the other kid, unrestrained child can act impulsively and select it. Will often have to remind him about you set the rules.
Become his second "I" or guardian angel, says William Sobieski, Ph.D., assistant Professor of psychiatry at the Centre of health Sciences of the University of Colorado and a research worker engaged in research in the field of psychology at the children's hospital in Denver. Aggressiveness when the child begins to grow, enter it on this and will offer alternative methods to solve problems. Say, for example: "In this situation, you want to hit, but it's wrong. Better tell me what you're angry. Can you tell me what you want to hit, but you know that to do so is not".
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Beware of the one who insults
Do not lose sight of verbal aggressiveness is often the beginning of something more serious. The child can verbally "click", causing a playmate to strike back, says Lottie Mendelssohn. When this happens, do not blame the one who was hit, and pay no attention to the child that caused the fight. The child who started the verbal abuse, should also be punished.
Declare the timeout
Cooling-off period is often the most effective way to change bad behavior. Bazigar believes that young children should be seated on chairs in two or three minutes, so they won't be disturbed, and older children are sent to their rooms.
Not only do from this punishment, he says. Just explain that taking such a step, because you want that everything was in order and that all were satisfied. Say, "You can't stop the fight, but I want you to take yourself in hand. So I decided to help you. Now we will declare the timeout for two or three minutes, until, until you calm down".
Praise for the hard work
Bazigar advises: when children react properly, do everything to consolidate these efforts. Tell them: "I like the way you did". Children respond better to praise when they see that the parents are really pleased with them. Needless to say: "Good boy" or "Good girl". Children often do not pay attention to it. Better to say: "You gave me great pleasure, when he shared with his younger brother, instead of fighting with him. Now I know that I can trust you care for him." Such praise is of great importance for children. It allows them to feel that they can make a good impression.
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Create scenarios of success
Child bullying others, very quickly notices that physical aggression brings only limited success. He can take away a toy that he likes, or out of turn to swing on the swings, but soon it turns out that he was friendless and alone. He may be very interested in how to change their behavior. You should try to teach children to think critically, says Bashar. First talk to your child what will happen if he will resort to force.
If your child is constantly beats the other children on the Playground, you can tell him: "You know what happens if you don't stop fighting? " He may answer: "will I Have trouble with on duty on the Playground, the Director will call me into the office and remove from the site". Then you can tell him: "But you want to be praised? What would us
to make your actions deserve praise, success? " Children readily respond to it".
As soon as the child begins to understand that his get in trouble, you can give him the opportunity to correct their behavior. For example, if the child's aggression on the Playground, you can remind him about his desire to improve. Convince him to politely ask the children if he could take part in the game, or let him make the ball back to the site and will wait until the children called him.
Make a journal to get rid of bad behavior
When a young child begins to show signs of aggressiveness, Bazigar recommends to write a story in which this child will be the main character. Using pictures cut from magazines, or pictures of the child, create a situation in which the child behaves with dignity and deserves the praise. Talk to him in that moment, when the child is calm, not nervous. When the child's emotional crisis to calm him down hard.
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Share with a child of his imagination
There are quite a effective method to help the child to take a fresh look at their behavior, It is that you share with a child of his imagination, says Bashar. For example, a child who strives to ensure that all Playground belonged to him alone, can get it... in fantasy. Say, "okay, in all week and only one Tommy will be allowed on the Playground. No one is going to use the swing, except Tommy, and everyone will stand around and applaud".
After Tommy realizes that his most far-reaching dreams are just fantasies - and also funny, talk to him seriously. Say, "Now see, that sounds great, but in reality you can't use the Playground, it's good to play with other children. So let's figure out how best to do that." Listen to the advice Boshara.
In extreme cases resort to force
In order to keep the child from aggressive attacks, you can use force, but only in the case when this aggression threatens his life or the lives of others, says Dr. Sobieski. If you still have to use force, approach the child from behind and squeeze his hand. Will cover his feet with her and keep your chin out of the reach of his head.
The use of force in some children is the rage, but calms others in that you are able to cope with them, he says. Only create the impression that you hold the baby, trying to calm him down, do not show aggression towards him, so he didn't feel as if he is attacked.
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