Ask without criticism

Who likes criticizing him? No. Many, of course, can answer that criticism makes me stronger, helps you to look at our mistakes and get better, but actually after one twisted words" for hours crying into the pillow. Now think if an adult is hard to take criticism, what about the child?



What is criticism?


Criticism is a negative judgment about anything with the designation of their disadvantages. And it is of two kinds: the just and the unjust.




Fair is when you point to specific errors and failures, which actually took place.




Unfair - occurs more frequently, and listen to it much worse. But it gives much more scope for creativity meet, which, unfortunately, rarely is emerging opportunities.




Regardless of the criticism towards the child is the place to be, knowing what the result will be not difficult to guess.





And in response...


You screwed up and allowed to behave unworthily, and therefore get what they deserve. The child has the right to repay you in kind and behave differently.




Justification




Tell you need to hear on duty "I won't", no? Why criticize? The child is just looking for a way to get you quickly from him released. Parents think that their child may adequately to accept criticism, but this response only indicates that the child took imposed on him the rules of the game.




Defense




The best defense - attack. You can hear "this", "you taught me". Anything good you will not succeed, even if you put baby in the corner.




Lies




Lie baby nobody teaches, but sometimes we do put him in such a framework, when there is no other choice and he has to say is not the truth. If the child always says "it's not me", it is not talking about his dishonesty, and fear to offend you, be upset, be upset. Think about it, not too demanding you to the child, not high if you put to him placket.




There is a solution!




What can you do? you may ask, why not be criticized for baby misses cannot. First, the child and parent should be friends. And friends do not turn away at the right moment. Try to understand why the child is doing "wrong". Discuss with your child the problem and work together to find a solution.




Try to understand the reason of such behavior, especially when it is tired, ill, forget, not wants. And depending on the situation motivate him.




And finally, never Studite your child in the presence of his peers or strangers, and don't compare him with other children. Don't talk about him in his presence, "my clumsy", "my is not given". Such as you think, fair criticism does not cause anything but resentment and unwillingness to learn something new, to achieve something greater. And if and causes the opposite ("I'll prove that I am better than others"), then such children grow up to be the real monsters, the whole life proving to others (but, first of all, parents) that they are "better, smarter, stronger".

Source:

Women's Magazine

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